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How do you make it work?

 
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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:21am

because does not need physical affection like you do

just like introverts don't need as must social interaction or same type as an extrovert

she gets her fill in other ways or gets it quicker

one hug a day may be all she needs while he needs 7

Edited by SamoneLenior - Jan 14 2013 at 9:21am
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:42am


I can be cold and aloof with strangers and warm and affectionate with loved ones ... it never occurred to me to also be cold and aloof with loved ones

but this isn't about me or what I need ... I never said anything about my physical affection needs, I spoke about what I would give not receive

In the OP, it doesn't look like she is hugging anyone once a day ... once a day might actually help


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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:43am

I am assuming you are having trouble understanding her behavior because it is the total opposite of your own and you don't know people like this


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Wildfire View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:46am
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

He should get a college mistress. She's not going to change and neither is he.



*nods*
they are incompatible.


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Wildfire View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:48am
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:



I can be cold and aloof with strangers and warm and affectionate with loved ones ... it never occurred to me to also be cold and aloof with loved ones



a former friend of mine was cold in all his romantic relationships --cold to the point of cruel, selfish and hung up on just about everything....but he was the total opposite with his kids and older sister
. I could never understand it.
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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:50am
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:


Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:





I can be cold and aloof with strangers and warm and affectionate with loved ones ... it never occurred to me to also be cold and aloof with loved ones



a former friend of mine was cold in all his romantic relationships --cold to the point of cruel, selfish and hung up on just about everything....but he was the total opposite with his kids and older sister
. I could never understand it.


I can

the relationship with his sister and children is not the same as the relationship with is so

all relationships are not held in the same light
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:51am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


she may show how feels in other ways


I wonder how?, since she doesnt show affection, by nature. How else? I cant imagine her even saying something affectionate since she cant show it.
Confused
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:52am
I never said or insinuated that people should be like me

I asked for insight on how other people think


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:54am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:


Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:





I can be cold and aloof with strangers and warm and affectionate with loved ones ... it never occurred to me to also be cold and aloof with loved ones



a former friend of mine was cold in all his romantic relationships --cold to the point of cruel, selfish and hung up on just about everything....but he was the total opposite with his kids and older sister
. I could never understand it.


I can

the relationship with his sister and children is not the same as the relationship with is so

all relationships are not held in the same light


Im sorry, but this is effed up. Its the reason everyone has essentially now turned their back on him. He cant maintain any sort of relationship or friendship because of his coldness. It eventually turns people off.
How on earth can you be totally cold to someone youve sharing yourself with for years? As well as people you call your friends? Makes no sense.

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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 9:57am
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

I never said or insinuated that people should be like me

I asked for insight on how other people think




you're missing the point

our experiences shape our perceptions

yours are making it so it is hard to understand this woman's behavior

understanding it doesn't mean you agree with it or do it yourself

Edited by SamoneLenior - Jan 14 2013 at 9:59am
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