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How do you make it work?

 
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naturesgift View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote naturesgift Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 11:38pm

I wonder if they are talking affection or SEX- Sounds to me like she is not having orgasims duing SEX.... that's the only way I see women not enjoying it~ I mean who the hell doesnt want to CUM! and yeah if he is overweight they should work out together take up a new hooby togehter that involves fitness (maybe MUD wrestling that way he will get the physical affection he needs while shaping up) Problem solved!

Ps work on the big O's for her

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 11:57pm
im a clingy ass person and would prefer to be with a clingy ass person as well. my feelings would be too easily hurt.
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**Sk!TtLeS B** View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote **Sk!TtLeS B** Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:07am
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:



as an affectionate person I can't imagine a hug, kiss, smile, encouraging words, etc being hard or taxing

I think that may have been his issue ... not realizing that it is much deeper than that for some people

I think people just assume there's a power play or mean spiritedness involved

can someone explain the other side ... how/why it's hard to be affectionate?  



It just is. 
Some people just arent affectionate. That doesnt mean that anything is wrong with them, nor does it mean that they have some unresolved childhood trauma. Some people are just receivers while others are givers. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:18am


it should be okay to be clingy with spouse ... who else would you cling to?

recoiling at a loved one's touch (she does say she loves him) ... seems like she either doesn't love him or has some post traumatic stress syndrome symptoms

I think I have some ptsd symptoms as well ... I'm very jumpy and I startle easily
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:29am
I wouldnt want a clingy spouse it would drive me nuts. That said I dont want to be ignored either. Its like a balancing act. I think to often ppl go into relationships and lose their own identity. In every relationship I enter into it is important for me to still have that. My own something..I feel that because of his background with his mom he may have been that type of person but she is sending mix messages to. How two ppl on such opposite ends came together I dont know but they must have something deep down they are seeking to heal or fix that they found in the other....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote creole booty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:36am
Kind of sounds like she's just not that into him. He was the safe option.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote **Sk!TtLeS B** Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:37am
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:



it should be okay to be clingy with spouse ... who else would you cling to?

recoiling at a loved one's touch (she does say she loves him) ... seems like she either doesn't love him or has some post traumatic stress syndrome symptoms

I think I have some ptsd symptoms as well ... I'm very jumpy and I startle easily

Some people dont like clingy, because clingy can go from cute to annoying real quick. But like Gkisses said, the alternative isnt to ignore them. 

Of course I would want affection, but a clingy SO would drive me insane. If he's up under her 24/7, when he wants to have sex with her she's probably already burnt out and annoyed.

His mistake was marrying someone who wasnt as affectionate as he'd like and hoping she would change. Her mistake was marrying someone who was more affectionate than she'd like and (Im assuming) hoping it would lessen over time. I think they can make it work, if they're both willing to compromise and come to a healthy medium. 


Edited by **Sk!TtLeS B** - Jan 14 2013 at 12:39am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 1:22am
Originally posted by **Sk!TtLeS B** **Sk!TtLeS B** wrote:

Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:



as an affectionate person I can't imagine a hug, kiss, smile, encouraging words, etc being hard or taxing

I think that may have been his issue ... not realizing that it is much deeper than that for some people

I think people just assume there's a power play or mean spiritedness involved

can someone explain the other side ... how/why it's hard to be affectionate?  



It just is. 
Some people just arent affectionate. That doesnt mean that anything is wrong with them, nor does it mean that they have some unresolved childhood trauma. Some people are just receivers while others are givers. 


Yup.

You know how some couples, if they're in a room together, they have to be touching or in close proximity. And other couples you might never see them touch at all. Both styles work for those couples. But if you took one from the touchy couple and put them with one from the non-touchy couple, it wouldn't work. Neither of them needs to change...they just need to be with the right partner.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 1:55am
Originally posted by creole booty creole booty wrote:

Kind of sounds like she's just not that into him. He was the safe option.

now that is a thread. make it girlBig smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 2:17am
my unresolved childhood trauma comment was in regards to the husband.
He has some issues with his mother, and took it into his marriage.


Edited by Derri - Jan 14 2013 at 2:20am
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