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BoutThatLife View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:25pm
I dont think the wife is crazy, I think dude is probably just annoying.

She probably does miss him when he's not around because he's not breathing down her neck like that, but when he's there he's probably clinging to her like a leech.  Him losing the weight did help because she said that she was more attracted to him. He just cant see it because even though he was in shape, he probably was still clingy and needy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:26pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Additional Info:

Derrick and Tracy did visit a relationship therapist. Derrick stated when he grew up his mom was cold and unaffectionate so he pursued his wife and lavished her with affection only to be rejected time and time again. Tracy says she loves him and hes a great partner. "We are raising great kids together who love us". When derrick takes it upon himself to have alone time Tracy gets anxious about where he is and what hes doing without her. She says she wants the marriage to work and her family to be together. She thinks that things are fine since they never really fight but shes not sure what more she can give to him or if she'll ever be comfortable with amount of emotional vulnerability Derrick is seeking.
 
she sounds special...

lmao!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:26pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I love a man that shows me lots of attention and affection. He can marry me. Smile

Me too.
Every night my SO and I cuddle. I sleep in his arms. He comes into the kitchen when I'm cooking and kiss me up. Couldn't be with a man who wasn't affectionate.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:27pm
she says she wants space.
he gives her space.. and then she wonders what he's out there doing.

she dont wanna fawk when he's fat..
she don't wanna fawk when he's skinny.

they hump once a week-- and shes proud of that.. like thats good.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:29pm
I wonder if she has daddy issues....since he has mommy issues.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:29pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

Honestly sounds like the genders were switched

If they were this would be a typical scenario

If it were reversed, he wouldve been accused of cheating ... out the gate LOL

cold, not wanting sex, aloof would've meant at least one jump off

not she needs to lose weight and find something else to do



 
 
 
 
truth.  but like it's been mentioned.....him thinking to change her was his mistake.  That is not her fault. 
 
It's been 15 years......why is this a prollem now as opposed to 2 years or 5 years into the marriage I wonder?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:33pm
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I love a man that shows me lots of attention and affection. He can marry me. Smile

Me too.
Every night my SO and I cuddle. I sleep in his arms. He comes into the kitchen when I'm cooking and kiss me up. Couldn't be with a man who wasn't affectionate.




And you couldn't just change from being the type of person who wants affection shown often to being the type of person who wants it rarely, if at all. It's just who you are.

I think it's unfair (and ridiculous) to expect either one of these people to change their natures. In this case, the mistake is his because he went into thinking she was going to change a fundamental part of herself.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:34pm


I thought I found something to cape for her with ... thinking that maybe she is affectionate but he needs more than "normal" since his mama was cold

but the first line in her POV was she's never been overly affectionate

if the only problem between you and you spouse is hugs, kisses, smiles and kind words... I mean really, is that too hard?

don't want to have sex, no interest in an O?  BJ to the rescue



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:35pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

I wonder if she has daddy issues....since he has mommy issues.



Someone asked that...Dad died when she was young( 5 or so cant remember dont want search) mom never remarried. She said they were a norm fam but didnt go any deeper into her  relationship before or after her fathers death.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 13 2013 at 10:51pm


as an affectionate person I can't imagine a hug, kiss, smile, encouraging words, etc being hard or taxing

I think that may have been his issue ... not realizing that it is much deeper than that for some people

I think people just assume there's a power play or mean spiritedness involved

can someone explain the other side ... how/why it's hard to be affectionate?  








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