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how do you deal with death

 
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mrshairdo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mrshairdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 1:52am
this might not be healthy but for me I just pretend they are on vacation somewhere and it helps
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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 2:02am
oh boy, hugs to everyone. Jeez I'm getting teary. 
HugHug

PM box is open


Edited by Derri - Dec 06 2012 at 2:03am
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 2:09am
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

this might not be healthy but for me I just pretend they are on vacation somewhere and it helps


I'm sorry but this made me giggle.


I keep getting hit over and over that he isn't coming back.
Talking with my mom and sisters and other family members helps a lot.
I love talking about old memories and jokes he told.
And I wear some of his old things sometimes
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 2:24am
Confused

now that i think about it, i think i have unhealthy ways of dealing with it. at funerals i cry cause others cry. i just dont deal with it...like i feel nothing..the only time i ever actually express myself is when i take pics...i cant be too healthy. geez..ConfusedDisapprove

 
that being said...i can pray for you op and anyone else thats suffering. like always i can push my own weirdness aside to help others. if anyone wants to talk, im usually always around...Big smile


Edited by Lady ICE - Dec 06 2012 at 3:50am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote neeneebaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 3:47am
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

this might not be healthy but for me I just pretend they are on vacation somewhere and it helps

This made me laugh as well. Tongue I try to vision him just being out of town but I know its not true. 

I have a scarf I took from him in October. I remember I had to force him to give it me lmao It was so cold that morning and I was like I need a scarf.  He dead tried to give a thin string of a scarf. lmao I miss him so much. So I do have things to remember him by. I have a video of the day we first met. He didn't have much Facebook pictures but the ones he has up are mainly in this shirt I brought him for his birthday a few years ago. & I remember he tagged me in a pic earlier this year after we broke up with the lighter I brought him for Christmas the year prior to let me know he still had it. It was engraved with his name. 

I am really thinking of seeing a therapist or just going to church again because as much as I laughed and smiled by sharing that personal info just now. I just started crying. 

We had planned a future together and although I was years younger than him he never made me forget it. He always told me that no matter what I was gonna be his girl and we always would have love for each other. Although we were over he was always there for me. I was always there for him. We were more than just lovers he was my friend a true genuine person. 

I kinda wish I called him earlier than I did on the day all the terrible happened because maybe just maybe he could have still been here. I wish I could have helped him. I wish I could have been there for him instead people practically let him die. 

I'm mad because I feel he was set up and was left to die. but that's my personal thoughts and I wont get into that. I just wish he never left his house that day. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote melly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2012 at 8:27pm
The last boyfriend I had he died unexpectedly 6 yrs ago we were together for 3 years and I remember I was in so much shock and denial. The death of my bfriend really tore me apart so much that I   didnt date for a long time. That was the first time that I had lost somebody close to me. But I got over it as time went by . All I can say is that time heals all wounds and you will get through it and you will smile and laugh again. Just keep positive people around you and don't be afraid to talk to your friends/family about your feelings.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2012 at 8:44pm
im kind of desensitized to death of people i know...for some reason when i hear stories of strangers deaths it bothers me more...i wonder why this is?  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kkscottdale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2012 at 8:48pm
I'm getting a little teary eyed.

Cry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote greenttby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2012 at 8:58pm
My husband discovered his father dead in bed almost 2 years to the day his mother passed. He is a manly man, and just as he was starting to get over his mother..he now has to deal with his father's death. Not to mention that he discovered his father, who had been dead for a good 3 days. My husband is the one who always checked on relatives,but he let a few days go by and it tore him up. He walked into his father's house greeted by the smell of death, and father with dried liquids coming from his mouth and nose.
 
Yall, we have been together for almost 20 years and always knew that we would face these things in our lifetime...but until you actually go through it, you can not truly understand. If nothing else, these experiences are helping me become a better mother, daughter, friend, human. I do believe time helps to heal, but when someone close passes on, can you fully heal. My husband asked me the other day, how long it would hurt. He said he misses his parents so much. He wasn't a mama's boy, but he and his sibblings truly have a close family.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2012 at 9:00pm
neenee, I think going to a therapist is a great idea! It can really help you grieve and sort out your feelings. Also, maybe you should try to keep a journal and record your dreams/thoughts/memories/feelings. It's quite helpful. Please remember that there isnt a set time on when you should "feel better" do what you need to do to feel better, and if this means taking time to yourself then please do that. You deserve it.
I thankfully have not lost anyone suddenly or close to me, and i can only imagine what you are going through. keep posting in this thread if you feel like it.

Many hugs and much comfort Hug
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