Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - how do you deal with death
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

how do you deal with death

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Bootiful Cream



Author
neeneebaby View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 14 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 567
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote neeneebaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: how do you deal with death
    Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 6:58pm
I swear this has been a horrible year.

My ex boyfriend was shot and killed a week ago. I really don't know how to deal. I'm trying. I never lost someone before in my life that I was so connected to.

When I walk out the house if I have to work or school. I can make that happen. However when I'm home all I do is cry and lay in my bed. I really miss him.

I no longer feel as though I have anyone to talk to. I just want to pack my bags and leave to another state to start over but I just started working a new job ans I'm in school full time.

It's so hard for me because his job was 4 blocks from mys apartment. I literally walk to the corner of his job and I would turn the opposite direction to get to the train. I can't look at his job he died there. I used to go there on my days off just to bother him.

I just miss him. I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like my life is falling apart. I don't want to be depressed but I feel as though I am.

Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
zolloh View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 03 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 65782
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote zolloh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:01pm
HugHugHug

It's still very fresh so your emotions are raw....sounds cliche but take it one day at a time, just concentrate on getting through today Cry

Back to Top
sexibeach View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 29 2005
Location: where I am
Status: Offline
Points: 48560
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexibeach Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:01pm
wow i'm so sorry this happen to you, it is going to take time to adjust to him being gone.. but you don't forget.. Hug
Back to Top
iSMILE13 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 23 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 11769
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote iSMILE13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:05pm
My high school sweetheart passed away in a car accident after dropping me off at home after our date. I didn't know how to handle his death and I was losing my mind. Thnkfully, my parent saw all of the warning signs that I needed help with coping. . I ended up seeing a therapist on a weekly basis and it helped a lot. I totally understand how you feel and the only thing that helped me was the therapist. All the hugs, scriptures, cards etc didn't do anything but make me more upset. I just wanted someone to listen to me reminisce and be there for me.

You are in my thoughts and prayers
Back to Top
EPITOME View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Feb 08 2007
Location: Escarpin
Status: Offline
Points: 458295
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:07pm
Hug  it will take time. don't be ashamed of your feelings. don't think you have to move on at a certain pace. allow yourself to grieve. 
Back to Top
Derri View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 26 2008
Location: Paradise
Status: Offline
Points: 64634
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:10pm
HugHug
I hate death and I don't know if anyone can truly get over it, but with time and maybe someone to talk to, it does get easier to live with. 
I dread the day.


Back to Top
noneyons View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 04 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 85004
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote noneyons Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:33pm
I've never experienced a sudden loss of someone I was close to so I have no first hand advice on how to deal with that. But I do agree with iSmile's suggestion about seeing a grief counselor.

I really hope this doesn't come off as insensitive but I know it probably will to some people which I totally understand because your pain is still raw. 

This is just how I deal with the IDEA of death in general.  

I read an interview with Paula Dean (the chef) in a magazine recently. Although I'm not a fan of hers, i was able to take a huge lesson from how she copes with death in her own life. 

From the article.


I know you grew up in Albany. What led you to make your home in Savannah?
When I was 40 years old I was battling agoraphobia, and my husband at the time came home and told me he’d gotten a job in Savannah. I was devastated. [After we moved] I went to bed and cried for two months, and got up every day feeling hopelessness. Finally, one day it was like I flipped the light switch [in my mind]. The Serenity Prayer went through my head, and it was like I heard it for the first time. That morning, I accepted my mother’s death, my daddy’s death, my death, my children’s deaths... I realized that I could live the rest of my life in fear, but it wasn’t going to change things. It all became clear. I got out of bed and I fell in love with Savannah.


sorry for your lossHug



Edited by noneyons - Dec 05 2012 at 7:35pm
Back to Top
SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 02 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 198848
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:49pm
deeply sorry for your loss.
my play bother was killed last year. for a while i laid around and cried. I had to drive by the place he was killed daily and still have so many dreams about him. It still hurts, but the pain decreases in time

I try to remember the good times. his friends and i reminisce occasionally. we had a gathering for his bday,to remember him and come together as a group of people who loved him. I also talked to my therapist about it.  and i talked with my pastor


Edited by SoutherNtellect - Dec 05 2012 at 7:54pm
Back to Top
bubblyboo View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 01 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 14574
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bubblyboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 8:03pm
Hug

Maybe we can cry together? The holidays are bitter sweet. I lost a lot of family years ago and I'm still not over it. Think of it this way... hes not gone. Hes just somewhere else where you can touch him but he is ALWAYS around you. You will notice things and he will let you know that hes still near you, comforting you, watching over you ALWAYS! Don't close yourself off. Its the worst thing you can do and makes the pain that much more unbearable. Talk to whoever you need to. Feel free to pm me. We can cry together HugHugHugHug
Back to Top
Derri View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Jul 26 2008
Location: Paradise
Status: Offline
Points: 64634
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 8:06pm
My uncle passed away this summer randomly. Just a couple weeks prior to his death I was telling my mother that we should take a trip back home and surprise him with a bunch of goodies to make him feel special and loved.

 I flew back home to see this young man in a casket. I am upset that he died with the misunderstanding that no one loved him. I don't want to describe my experience because I don't want to stir feelings for myself nor anyone else going through it, but I wanted so badly to hold his hands and wake him up. I found myself saying, get up! get up!!! Let's get out of here, take me in a speedboat up the river like you used to, let's go!!

It was my first funeral, but I knew right then that it probably wouldn't be my last. 
I'm preparing myself now to let go of the crippling affects of fear. Especially fear of death. I almost lost my life 2 weeks ago, so I know how close we all are to it. 

Two months later, my great aunt passed.

Hugto everyone struggling with the loss of a loved one.



Edited by Derri - Dec 05 2012 at 8:11pm
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Little Black Scarf
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down