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neeneebaby 
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 Topic: how do you deal with death
Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 6:58pm |
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I swear this has been a horrible year.
My ex boyfriend was shot and killed a week ago. I really don't know how to deal. I'm trying. I never lost someone before in my life that I was so connected to.
When I walk out the house if I have to work or school. I can make that happen. However when I'm home all I do is cry and lay in my bed. I really miss him.
I no longer feel as though I have anyone to talk to. I just want to pack my bags and leave to another state to start over but I just started working a new job ans I'm in school full time.
It's so hard for me because his job was 4 blocks from mys apartment. I literally walk to the corner of his job and I would turn the opposite direction to get to the train. I can't look at his job he died there. I used to go there on my days off just to bother him.
I just miss him. I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like my life is falling apart. I don't want to be depressed but I feel as though I am.
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zolloh
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:01pm |
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sexibeach
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:01pm |
wow i'm so sorry this happen to you, it is going to take time to adjust to him being gone.. but you don't forget.. 
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iSMILE13
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:05pm |
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My high school sweetheart passed away in a car accident after dropping me off at home after our date. I didn't know how to handle his death and I was losing my mind. Thnkfully, my parent saw all of the warning signs that I needed help with coping. . I ended up seeing a therapist on a weekly basis and it helped a lot. I totally understand how you feel and the only thing that helped me was the therapist. All the hugs, scriptures, cards etc didn't do anything but make me more upset. I just wanted someone to listen to me reminisce and be there for me.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
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EPITOME
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:07pm |
it will take time. don't be ashamed of your feelings. don't think you have to move on at a certain pace. allow yourself to grieve.
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Derri
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:10pm |
I hate death and I don't know if anyone can truly get over it, but with time and maybe someone to talk to, it does get easier to live with. I dread the day.
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noneyons
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:33pm |
I've never experienced a sudden loss of someone I was close to so I have no first hand advice on how to deal with that. But I do agree with iSmile's suggestion about seeing a grief counselor.
I really hope this doesn't come off as insensitive but I know it probably will to some people which I totally understand because your pain is still raw.
This is just how I deal with the IDEA of death in general.
I read an interview with Paula Dean (the chef) in a magazine recently. Although I'm not a fan of hers, i was able to take a huge lesson from how she copes with death in her own life.
From the article.
I know you grew up in Albany. What led you to make your home in Savannah?
When I was 40 years old I was battling agoraphobia, and my husband at the time came home and told me he’d gotten a job in Savannah. I was devastated. [After we moved] I went to bed and cried for two months, and got up every day feeling hopelessness. Finally, one day it was like I flipped the light switch [in my mind]. The Serenity Prayer went through my head, and it was like I heard it for the first time. That morning, I accepted my mother’s death, my daddy’s death, my death, my children’s deaths... I realized that I could live the rest of my life in fear, but it wasn’t going to change things. It all became clear. I got out of bed and I fell in love with Savannah.
sorry for your loss
Edited by noneyons - Dec 05 2012 at 7:35pm
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SoutherNtellect
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:49pm |
deeply sorry for your loss. my play bother was killed last year. for a while i laid around and cried. I had to drive by the place he was killed daily and still have so many dreams about him. It still hurts, but the pain decreases in time
I try to remember the good times. his friends and i reminisce occasionally. we had a gathering for his bday,to remember him and come together as a group of people who loved him. I also talked to my therapist about it. and i talked with my pastor
Edited by SoutherNtellect - Dec 05 2012 at 7:54pm
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bubblyboo
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 8:03pm |
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Derri
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Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 8:06pm |
My uncle passed away this summer randomly. Just a couple weeks prior to his death I was telling my mother that we should take a trip back home and surprise him with a bunch of goodies to make him feel special and loved.
I flew back home to see this young man in a casket. I am upset that he died with the misunderstanding that no one loved him. I don't want to describe my experience because I don't want to stir feelings for myself nor anyone else going through it, but I wanted so badly to hold his hands and wake him up. I found myself saying, get up! get up!!! Let's get out of here, take me in a speedboat up the river like you used to, let's go!!
It was my first funeral, but I knew right then that it probably wouldn't be my last. I'm preparing myself now to let go of the crippling affects of fear. Especially fear of death. I almost lost my life 2 weeks ago, so I know how close we all are to it.
Two months later, my great aunt passed.
to everyone struggling with the loss of a loved one.
Edited by Derri - Dec 05 2012 at 8:11pm
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