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Honouring thy mother and father?

 
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Chey View Drop Down
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    Posted: May 29 2011 at 7:14pm
I am beyond the age in which obedience is needed- i am not a teen, I am in my 20's.
But I have a question.. I know in the bible it says to honour your parents and obey them, but is this possible when they do not respect you etc?
Me and my father are on ok terms, but my mom, its another story.
Shes always looking to argue, and fight. For some reason, she lacks respect for me. She puts everything and everyone before me. 
She doesn't look out for me for my wellbeing. She never has.
We had issues when I was a teen but i guess its stretched out till now.
Ive had a sit down with her, where we sort of talked about it, but the issues lay deeper than what it seems on the surface. Unsupportive, intentionally rude, and just never happy for me, its not easy to say I love my mom. 
To be honest I dont. Its easy for many christians to say, "well they brought you into this world so you got to love them" but is this true? 
She looks down on me more than any other persons mother I personally know. It hurts,  but it doesn't bother me because I put God over her anyway. 
Im just wondering, does this hinder my relationship with God? Do I need to force myself to love her?
I prefer to not level myself with people who aren't equally yoked in terms of behaviour, and she seems to be one of them. 
I just need to be assured whether this is right or wrong. I cant put up a facade that I care for her, when she never, ever takes the time to make sure im okay. 

Any scriptures or references would be great. 
Thanks
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ModelessDiva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2011 at 8:19pm
Great thread!!

Im going through something similar as well girl, youre not alone.

I have no answers for this one, sorry!LOL

But I will be lurking!!

Big smile
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Chey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2011 at 8:59pm
big sis , at least im not the only one!
I hope someone comes with some insightful answers.

Hope your doing good <3
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leelee327 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote leelee327 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2011 at 9:59pm
Ephesians 6:1-3 states that this is the first commandment with a promise in which we are to honor our parents and Colossians 3:20 states that obeying your parents pleases God.

I also think that you may need to forgive your mom because of all the negativity surrounding your relationship but continue to pray that God softens her heart and through your obedience impacts her behaviors and attitude positively.

Continue to respect your mother and pray that God softens your heart so that you are open to love your mother(John 15:12, 1 John 4:8, 1 Peter 4:8).

Hope this helps and encourages you, I will pray for you and your mother.


Continue to be respectful
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Chey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2011 at 10:51pm
Thanks so much, im going to read those leelee.
Its weird because i am very open to loving whoever hates me, because i feel like I won anyway, but with my mom, i cant bring myself to it. 
I feel like why waste the energy?
We are a family of 4 children, and I feel when i am older, it will always be me to take care of my mom. I feel it. And maybe I wont mind when the time comes but theres certain things I dont forget. 
They say forgive and forget but excuse me for putting my stuff on blast but she has called me the devils daughter and worse.
I just don't see how that is something to love. 
I can pray for her, but everything else wont come naturally.
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Chey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2011 at 10:53pm
^^ Well, i said "feel" a bitLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2011 at 11:03pm
Originally posted by Chey Chey wrote:

Thanks so much, im going to read those leelee.
Its weird because i am very open to loving whoever hates me, because i feel like I won anyway, but with my mom, i cant bring myself to it. 
I feel like why waste the energy?
We are a family of 4 children, and I feel when i am older, it will always be me to take care of my mom. I feel it. And maybe I wont mind when the time comes but theres certain things I dont forget. 
They say forgive and forget but excuse me for putting my stuff on blast but she has called me the devils daughter and worse.
I just don't see how that is something to love. 
I can pray for her, but everything else wont come naturally.

Harsh.Shocked

But I agree with the other poster as far the situation with your mother..

You MUST forgive her, (if you havent already)
Like God has forgiven us.

No matter how hard it is, it must be done sis.

Forgive and pray for her(like you mentioned).

Im still lurking about the thread topic however...Cool
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote purpulicious01 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2011 at 6:39am
If you parent asks you to do something against your faith, disobey God, then you are not obligated to 'listen' to them in that case, but in any circumstance, we should always treat our parents with the utmost respect, humility, and kindness. Reminder to myself first. 
 
Are our parents perfect? No. Do they make mistakes? Yes. Do they have issues? Probably (we all do) Does that change anything? Nope. They are still your parents. 
 
Great video, I watch over and over to remind myself. He mentions a few things you posted:
 
 
" And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age while with you, do not say  to them so much as, "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
 
And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small."Your Lord is most knowing of what is within yourselves. If you should be righteous in intention - then indeed He is ever, to the often returning to Him, Forgiving." Quran  Chapter 17
 
 
*In my faith, the role of the mother is respected and valued moreso than the father. Both parents are to be respected and treated with care and kindness, but its obvious a mother goes through things fathers do not. I know this thread was directed toward Christian and biblical scripture, but just wanted to offer 'our' perspective. *


Edited by purpulicious01 - May 30 2011 at 6:39am
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Chey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2011 at 10:26am
Thanks for your perspective purp. Generally i think all religions set out the same message
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eboni1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2011 at 12:00pm
dare i say I HATE MY MOTHER Stern Smile
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