Honest advice needed please!

i dont think youre overreacting. 

foxyroy19 wrote: If you can't tolerate the work of getting a long and make nice then YOU need to cut all ties with your family.  Simple.  You are in control of you.  You dont control nothing else.  Once you learn that simple fact you will be able to make a decision. Honestly, why should Mom give up on her relationship just to appease you...?  You are or have been out the nest....fly...that is her home and how she wants to live her life is and has been her decision.  Things your mother tolerates may not be what you can or will tolerate and the same with the members on BHM.  I just can't imagine a grown child trying to tell me what to do or how I should do this or that with my husband.  I can't believe your mom tried to explain that to you.     The only Dynamics that can be changed is within your control.      I have had to cut crazy out my life and I don't regret it one bit.

I think its hard to let go because my mom and I used to have an amazing and super close relationship before we moved in with my dad

Edited by Cali naps - Dec 07 2012 at 10:03pm

Op, what do you mean by "beat"? Do you means spanking or straight out violence? If he seriously physically abused you, I really don't think that you should contact him again or get too close to him. Unless, he comes to realize what he did was just plain evil. If you mean "beat" as in spanking than I don't think it really is that big of a deal and maybe he was just frustrated at the pressures of being a parent and having to sacrifice alot for his kids. As far as your mother is concerned, I think you should still keep her in your life because she is your mother no matter what. And no matter what if she is in need you need to be the bigger person and try to help when you can. But I don't think you should share intimate parts of your life with her and try to keep it civil. It's no good to be completely isolated from your family because I can see that if you are even asking this question you seem to love your family despite the issues you are having. When I found out that my father was spending all our money on prostitution and thats why we couldn't eat or do things I was soo angry and I wanted him to die. But I realize now that I have to be the bigger person because he can't be. Please PM me anytime you want. I know family drama hurts but one day you will get married, have friends of your own and live a satisfying life. As we get older we depend less and less on our parents anyway so it's not like you are forced to live with them 24/7, you will be fine. You just have to trust your gut.

NO! How does that seem like im trolling? My mom broke up with my dad after she got pregnant with me but she moved in with him when I was eight and thats when all this started happening. She wasn't always like this