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Joined: Dec 29 2011
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 1:29am
Originally posted by BeanieBabiesMommy BeanieBabiesMommy wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by BeanieBabiesMommy BeanieBabiesMommy wrote:

Originally posted by cicision cicision wrote:

Originally posted by BeanieBabiesMommy BeanieBabiesMommy wrote:

Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

I would never date a guy in prison (jail is only for a week or so.)

And if he committed a crime which landed him in prison ... the relationship/marriage would be over.

I would never saddle myself with a guy sitting in prison for years fighting and likely having sex with other men ... and when he gets out - then what? He will have a criminal record so he can't get a decent job, can't get a passport etc .. ever so he will be out but miserable.

So then you are stuck living a kind of half life with this fool.

No. If he breaks the law ... he breaks our relationship and all bets are off.



I felt the same way until my s/o went to jail and I feel kind of dumb for saying I would never do it
it is always easier to say something then to actually do it . It depends on the person but I think you should ask yourself would he do the same for you ?

No he would NOT but I know he would sure as hell lie and make it seem like he was lol

How long is he going to be there and what crime did he commit?

But most important - why are you waiting for him?

he will be home in about 3 months.

he was in there for 15 months.




I never wanted to hold a man down in jail but when it happened I was 9 months pregnant about to give birth to our baby.

then I gave birth and Ive been so focued on the baby that dating other men wasnt a priority and no dude was checkin up on me any way so just so happened that I would write him all the time and visit so we just stayed together.


it just worked out but over the months Ive met other single moms with childrens fathers in jail.

some were waiting for their man to come home but doing them on the side.

others were strictly focused on their relationship and didnt cheat.

some were like him, i see him when he gets home.

so every female was different with how they handled their situation.





I am sorry for your situation - really I am.

To me I wouldn't be worried about 'keeping down a man' in prison (and that is an intertesting term btw) but I would be looking at out how things are going to be spending the rest of your life with an ex-convict who just spent 15 months in the clink for drugs .. no less. :O

Do you know the rate of recidivism for drugs abusers once released from prison? High. I would never invite such drama into my life. If my man were involved in drugs (I would have dumped him anyway) and if I did not know he was involved but then he got sent to prison ... I would break it off with him. Period - baby or not.That doesn't mean the love would end overnight - that would take time and a lot of tears .. but he would be out of my life.

Again, how is he going to support himself when he gets out? This is the big question .. because companies/businesses are not going to want to hire him so he will have to take the worst kind of work or maybe have to depend on a friend to give him whatever work or go back to whatever eventually landed him in jail to begin with.

It's a zero-sum game.

I know you believe in him/love him .. but this would be the single most relevant factor that would cause me to be out of his life - especially if a CHILD IS INVOLVED.

Not trying to be hard on you ... these are just my feelings.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 9:53pm
My stance is:
There are good, men out there that make an honest living. Why be with one that takes the easy way out of what real grown azz men do?

I live by the notion "Don't date a man that you wouldn't want your son to grow up to like or your daughter to end up with."

Illegal activities invite all types of dangerous people and situations into your life. AND YOUR KIDS lives. If you don't care for love yourself enough to steer clear of people that are destined for failure/incarceration and death, love your kids enough to keep them out of that lifestyle. Anything else is setting them up for failure before they have a chance to create the great things they are capable of.

If people don't love themselves to keep negativity, drama and foolishness out of their lives, why do you feel they give a fawk about yours?

Know your value. And if it's not enough, I HOPE and PRAY you'll one day feel that the lives you bring into this world, that you're supposed to protect and cherish as a MOTHER, have enough value.

You can't have certain types of people around your kids, then when you're visiting them in prison or burying them, ask "why my child? why did this happen?". What else did you expect to happen??
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