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HOLDING A MAN DOWN IN JAIL

 
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demilee27 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote demilee27 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 30 2013 at 11:53pm
In my opinion its premature to believe how one would react unles they are put in that predicament.
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MomeRath View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MomeRath Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 31 2013 at 2:21pm
Originally posted by demilee27 demilee27 wrote:

In my opinion its premature to believe how one would react unles they are put in that predicament.


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Printer_Ink View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 01 2014 at 1:46am
Umm oh yes I do.

I don't know how it would feel to put my hand in a firepit ... but I have a pretty good idea. Ouch!

(That's what people said when OJ Simpson lead the police on a chase after his ex was found all sliced up like that. Hey, I don't know exactly what I would do in that situation either but I am absolutely sure I would not leave my kids, sneak out of the house, and get into an SUV with a hunk of cash and my passport. And then repeat 'I am so sorry' over and over again on the phone while the world watched and the cops followed allll that time until the friend finally talked him down. Noooo.)

Some behaviors can be predicted.

Edited by Printer_Ink - Jan 01 2014 at 2:04am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 01 2014 at 1:50am
Originally posted by Twisted_Angel Twisted_Angel wrote:

but what about that movie con air with nicolas cage where these men jump him at the bar..he kills them and goes to prison?..he didn't start or provoke anything..they was bothering him and his wife


He had a bad lawyer though. Self-defense is self-defense.

And thankfully all the Mandela 'ish reasons for being in prison are behind us. :)

Edited by Printer_Ink - Jan 01 2014 at 2:05am
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Wik3ddd_Fr3shh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Wik3ddd_Fr3shh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 02 2014 at 1:50am
I don't see myself supporting someone while they are in prison putting my life on hold. It would really depend on the situation. If we not married, I'm leaving. If we married, it depends on why you are there.
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Beauty620 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 10:44pm
It would all depend....I mean if he went in for something minor then I may wait, if it is major then that's something i'll have to reconsider....because my life as well would be on hold and when you reach a certain age....AIN"T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. Unless your married....

And then you have to think about if it was major....what the set backs would be after the fact and time has went by. And once again that's your life on hold. Also just because you hold a man down when he's in doesn't mean when he get's out it's all about you. It may be for a few months...but if it's in his bone to cheat, he'll be on to the next as soon as his a** get's settled in....So that's something you def wanna think about. 


Edited by Beauty620 - Jan 04 2014 at 10:47pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 05 2014 at 6:08am
It's not all about the waiting (though that is big) it's what he's gonna do when he gets out? And .. I think everyone would agree that a short stay (a couple of months) in a 'country club' sort of environment so would not be so disruptive .. but prison time is typically many years … and prisons are typically very bad places to be.

- he would have been subjected to violence, rapes, beatings (either giving or receiving)
- he would be subjected to mental abuse by the guards or whoever is in control of him. The 'counts' and being locked up all the time and only eating certain foods etc ... all these things really DAMAGE the mind. The Penal system in America is .. punitive afterall :(
-if he is paroled .. geesh, there will be a zillion rules he has to follow or .. wooosh they will send him back to prison. The first thing is to get a job .. but who wants to hired a guy just paroled from prison?
- sure when he comes out - it's all smiles and great sex ... until reality sets in.
- he will experience that depression and desperation, anger etc that people feel after release – maybe he will fall back into the same bad habits that sent him to prison to begin with.
- he will learn/pick up all other sorts of bad habits, cons etc because he is surrounded by the worse kinds of people for X time
- and when he gets out (not paroled) ... what's he gonna do for a living now that he has a prison record on his hands? Who is gonna hire him? So then aside from you holding down the home all those years with the bills and the kids ... when he comes back, you will have to feed him too. This will create all sorts of relationship problems - His ego has been damaged afterall.
- the rate of divorce after a prison release is .. HIGH for obvious reasons so you would have put your life on hold all that time just to be stuck in a miserable divorce anyway
- not to mention how this will affect the kids, his parents, friends and neighbors and it goes on.

If I had a guy living in my building that had just gotten out of prison ... I would be very uncomfortable and would avoid him every chance I could. No telling what’s going on in his head. :( Maybe that's judgemental .. but I don't care. Why should I concern myself with some random ex-convicts feelings? Nooo.
-In fact a lot of people fail miserably when they try to reestablish themselves

It will be so frustrating to him to survive years of all that s*** he experienced in prison to come out and basically have to scrub toilets maybe for a living ... because he can't get a job anyplace else.

There's more to it to ... just a mess.

Best to break it off and go your own way.

If he can get out of prison and beat the system and get a decent job etc ... maybe, but even then he can never get a passport so that will restrict his movements for life and I read somewhere that he can't vote .. ever. I am sure there's other stuff too .. but essentially once you go to prison you are basically sc**** for life.

Sure there are exceptions - people that can live it down maybe open a business, write a book etc based on his prison experiences but to blend seamlessly back into society .. not so easy.

Edited by Printer_Ink - Jan 05 2014 at 6:14am
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Beauty620 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 06 2014 at 12:28pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

It's not all about the waiting (though that is big) it's what he's gonna do when he gets out? And .. I think everyone would agree that a short stay (a couple of months) in a 'country club' sort of environment so would not be so disruptive .. but prison time is typically many years … and prisons are typically very bad places to be.

- he would have been subjected to violence, rapes, beatings (either giving or receiving)
- he would be subjected to mental abuse by the guards or whoever is in control of him. The 'counts' and being locked up all the time and only eating certain foods etc ... all these things really DAMAGE the mind. The Penal system in America is .. punitive afterall :(
-if he is paroled .. geesh, there will be a zillion rules he has to follow or .. wooosh they will send him back to prison. The first thing is to get a job .. but who wants to hired a guy just paroled from prison?
- sure when he comes out - it's all smiles and great sex ... until reality sets in.
- he will experience that depression and desperation, anger etc that people feel after release – maybe he will fall back into the same bad habits that sent him to prison to begin with.
- he will learn/pick up all other sorts of bad habits, cons etc because he is surrounded by the worse kinds of people for X time
- and when he gets out (not paroled) ... what's he gonna do for a living now that he has a prison record on his hands? Who is gonna hire him? So then aside from you holding down the home all those years with the bills and the kids ... when he comes back, you will have to feed him too. This will create all sorts of relationship problems - His ego has been damaged afterall.
- the rate of divorce after a prison release is .. HIGH for obvious reasons so you would have put your life on hold all that time just to be stuck in a miserable divorce anyway
- not to mention how this will affect the kids, his parents, friends and neighbors and it goes on.

If I had a guy living in my building that had just gotten out of prison ... I would be very uncomfortable and would avoid him every chance I could. No telling what’s going on in his head. :( Maybe that's judgemental .. but I don't care. Why should I concern myself with some random ex-convicts feelings? Nooo.
-In fact a lot of people fail miserably when they try to reestablish themselves

It will be so frustrating to him to survive years of all that s*** he experienced in prison to come out and basically have to scrub toilets maybe for a living ... because he can't get a job anyplace else.

There's more to it to ... just a mess.

Best to break it off and go your own way.

If he can get out of prison and beat the system and get a decent job etc ... maybe, but even then he can never get a passport so that will restrict his movements for life and I read somewhere that he can't vote .. ever. I am sure there's other stuff too .. but essentially once you go to prison you are basically sc**** for life.

Sure there are exceptions - people that can live it down maybe open a business, write a book etc based on his prison experiences but to blend seamlessly back into society .. not so easy.


True!!!! Your on point!!

True!!!! Your on point!!
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BeanieBabiesMommy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeanieBabiesMommy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 06 2014 at 3:43pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by BeanieBabiesMommy BeanieBabiesMommy wrote:

Originally posted by cicision cicision wrote:

Originally posted by BeanieBabiesMommy BeanieBabiesMommy wrote:

Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

I would never date a guy in prison (jail is only for a week or so.)

And if he committed a crime which landed him in prison ... the relationship/marriage would be over.

I would never saddle myself with a guy sitting in prison for years fighting and likely having sex with other men ... and when he gets out - then what? He will have a criminal record so he can't get a decent job, can't get a passport etc .. ever so he will be out but miserable.

So then you are stuck living a kind of half life with this fool.

No. If he breaks the law ... he breaks our relationship and all bets are off.
 
 
I felt the same way until my s/o went to jail and I feel kind of dumb for saying I would never do it
it is always easier to say something then to actually do it . It depends on the person but I think you should ask yourself would he do the same for you ?
No he would NOT but I know he would sure as hell lie and make it seem like he was lol


How long is he going to be there and what crime did he commit?

But most important - why are you waiting for him?
he will be home in about 3 months.
 
he was in there for 15 months.
 
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I never wanted to hold a man down in jail but when it happened I was 9 months pregnant about to give birth to our baby.
then I gave birth and Ive been so focued on the baby that dating other men wasnt a priority and no dude was checkin up on me any way so just so happened that I would write him all the time and visit so we just stayed together.
 
it just worked out but over the months Ive met other single moms with childrens fathers in jail.
some were waiting for their man to come home but doing them on the side.
others were strictly focused on their relationship and didnt cheat.
some were like him, i see him when he gets home.
so every female was different with how they handled their situation.
 
 
 
 
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sbrownie84 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sbrownie84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 06 2014 at 10:48pm
Most of these men that are locked up end up treating the women that held them down like sh*t when they get out anyway. There is always multiple women holding them down.  Who they were before they went to jail, usually becomes worst after jail. 
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