| elle_honey wrote:|
Thanks for the advice ladies! It helps. I'm still going on his twitter which sucks bc I keep finding out stuff. I thought that since he always came back (3 years now) that he was sincere. I thought that if we worked on in apart things would be differently, but now I'm thinking I was always just a side/option girl for him. I FEEL SO STUPID FOR GIVING SO MUCH OF MYSELF TO SOMEONE WHO DOESNT/NEVER LOVED ME. It hurtsSo, based off this I feel like I should text him & tell him that I finally get that he was just trying to break up with me the cowardly way. But that won't help so I'm going cold turkey. I hope I can.
Your are misinterpreting things with this guy so that you can keep hope alive that things will work out. he fact that 'he keeps coming back' even after 3 years .. is not a positive indicator of the depths of your relationship. He should not be coming back .. at all.
He should either BE with you or be WITHOUT you period. But all this back forth business shows he is unstable and should not be trusted in terms of anything REAL. Of all the guys I have broken off with or that broke off from me ... do you know how many I got back together with? ZERO. Not one of them.
There is a REASON it breaks off with him and likely some lame reason you get back together again. Geesh what will happen if you get married? It will be a mess. Sorry but being a relationship has it’s ups and downs but it should not be THAT dag gone hard. If it is .. and has been so for all these years .. you are not meant to be together. So yes, you were probably the side girl.
In truth though .. would you even want to be the main girl for such a guy? As soon as you are gone .. he will replace you and the main girl is still laying up (not using protection) with a guy that she believes is hers … but he is just making a fool of out her too!
For all you know ALL his girls are side girls because he doesn’t have the capacity to commit to anyone. LOSER!
No sense beating yourself up over your mistakes. We’ve alllll made mistakes with men. Just see this as a lessoned learned so – do not repeat it. Do not write him and another flipping word to him! ( write him a letter just to get it out of your system and them burn it!)
No contact because he has DUMPED you! You've got to have some pride and dignity about yourself and writing him now AFTER he has dumped you ... basically says you are still trying to get his attention.
with the next guy:
- Do not sleep with him for a good 2 – 3 months
- Do not go fast in the relationship .. go slow, keep your options open by casually seeing other people
- Do not let him know IN ANY WAY that you are crazy about him
- Never give MORE of youself to guy than you are willing to lose
- Do not change ANYTHING about your life once you start seeing him. So If every Sunday you do Salsa dancing and every Wedesday yo u have swimming lessons CONTINUE to do so. Don’t just drop everything because you have a guy in your life.
- Do not let him turn you into a whore by accepting money – ever! Aside from a decent birthday and Xmas gift, flowers and candy are the only gifts I will accept from a man outside of marriage. Like my father told me .. once money is tied into a relationship (no matter what you are thinking) there comes an 'expectation' frpm the man ... that is the start of problems later. If the guy wants to 'take care of you' he will do it the right way by 'putting a ring on it'. Anything else .. is just hving fun ...
- I could tell you more .. but you get the idea.
Take it easy with men. They can smell desparation/neediness so they will take advantege of you.
Edited by Printer_Ink - Dec 12 2013 at 10:26am