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HELP CANCER MAN UPSET..WHAT TO DO?

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 20 2013 at 2:47am

Umm if you got pregnant outside of marriage at any age .. then you are the kind of person I am talking about.

 

You can't lay up with men such that you get pregnant to begin with .. period. Geesh, it never happened to me. There are a millions ways to prevent pregnancy and there is the Morning After pill and abortion if you get pregnant - so if you get pregant and give birth it's because you want to – not because you have to. It's a choice.

 

- cheats the child out of a well-balanced home life where they see a healthy interaction between the parents that can well afford to raise the children without always being tight on money and time and whatnot. It creates to much stress, neglect and distraction in the household otherwise which exposes children to risks such as the gangs, drugs, sexual abuse .. and the list goes on and on. Kids need attention and focus. Sure some mothers can manage .. but it comes at such a HIGH PRICE.

 

- the mother never becomes all she can be because you can't have a normal life if you are bringing up a child on your own (even with the help of other family members). There is nothing like a normal independent 'nuclear' family. Not to mention the number of men in and out of the mother's life .. while she is trying to find another man. That's just damaging.

 

- the child never 'knows' the father so does not feel valued so .. if the child is a girl she will likely end up with 'daddy issues' such that she is desperate for love from a man .. so she  will get knocked up by some loser that will ALSO leave her. Her mother has modeled this behaviour so she will think this is an okay option too. If the child is a boy he will grow up without a 'father' role model so when he comes of age .. he will get some girl knocked up and leave her so that she is stuck raising the child alone too ... and the cycle repeats itself generation after generation. He never had a father role model to show him what it is to be a man and to be responsible (sexually and otherwise). Sorry, but a mother cannot teach a boy how to be a man.

 

IMO this popular business of having a baby without a father really cripples the Black community ... which is already crippled enough as it is! People are just so lax about getting knocked up these days .. but it sets them up for a stunted life. They never really reach their full potential because raising a child is hard work so mostly women just 'get by' but 'getting by' is not enough financially or emotionally for the child or the mother.

 

Ugh. Makes my skin crawl.

 

It doesn't mean that you don't love your kids but the exact same kid could come along years later when you are married and in a stable relationship where he/she could have it all! I wonder how low the population of gang bangers, drug addicts, pole dancers, prostitutes, prison inmates etc would be .. everyone kept their knees together or used effective birth control or abortion so that Black kids were all raised in stable, well-adjusted, two parent homes?

 

Have you looked at the stats for the number of Black children up for adoption, in foster care, in prison, on drugs etc .. The Black population is onbly 12.6% of the entire US population but over one half of children in foster care nationwide ... are Black.
 
Why is that? Too many irresponsible mothers or parents that give birth and 'opps' something happens so in the end .. The State has to take the kids. Dead  How do you think those kids are gonna turn out raised in such a system?
 
I think this change would be a real turning point in the Black community which would allow time to develop the community in soooo many other critical ways. But geesh if a good portion of the community remains burdened with the raising/abandonment issues and finances of children and all the problems that stem from that ... there's not much leeway FOR ANYTHING ELSE.  

 

It’s a hard life. Ouch And life doesn't HAVE to be that daggone hard. It's a choice.

 



Edited by Printer_Ink - Oct 20 2013 at 4:12am
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Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 20 2013 at 9:49am
i know what you mean, but you are young and you have a lot to learn..

Theres no reason to get nasty you are entitled to
your opinion andd Thats fine.

i dont take birth control.. especially depo. this manmade stuff is very dangerous for your body.. but don't you dare compare your life to mine, you have no idea what ive been through and everything Ian't just black and white..

i dont believe in abortion. i will never kill a child. if i wasnt suppose to be pregnant God wouldnt have blessed me with a miracle..

Wtf u mean normal..everyones definition of normal is different you can't really define that.

ive seen children grow up in happy homes with a single parent..

and you are wrong for calling out one race, because there are plenty of dead beat whites..asians, etc..

I'm too old to be debating with a teen... sigh...

Im glad you have a good head on your shoulders but you act like you are better than the rest of us.

come at me when u 27 years old and ima see if u preachin the same things and have the same morals and values.. and ill shut up..

Im gone..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 20 2013 at 10:25am
o yeah i have an update..

my bf says he wants to take a break.. at first i couldnt understand why.. but he told me he needs time to heal and get his emotions together because he will never put our daughters life in danger again, or mine..

at first i was like no contact cuz i dont like breaks.. one foot in one foot out of the relationship..still having sex and its too much to handle. he still wanted to celebrate our anniversayr but i told him no it would beaakward..

i trust him and i know hes not doing this to be with another woman..

Im gonna miss him and we will stay in touch every blue moon..i know this is a good thing cuz i hate seeing him miserable..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 20 2013 at 1:13pm
Originally posted by Twisted_Angel Twisted_Angel wrote:

i know what you mean, but you are young and you have a lot to learn..

Theres no reason to get nasty you are entitled to
your opinion andd Thats fine.

i dont take birth control.. especially depo. this manmade stuff is very dangerous for your body.. but don't you dare compare your life to mine, you have no idea what ive been through and everything Ian't just black and white..

i dont believe in abortion. i will never kill a child. if i wasnt suppose to be pregnant God wouldnt have blessed me with a miracle..

Wtf u mean normal..everyones definition of normal is different you can't really define that.

ive seen children grow up in happy homes with a single parent..

and you are wrong for calling out one race, because there are plenty of dead beat whites..asians, etc..

I'm too old to be debating with a teen... sigh...

Im glad you have a good head on your shoulders but you act like you are better than the rest of us.

come at me when u 27 years old and ima see if u preachin the same things and have the same morals and values.. and ill shut up..

Im gone..
 
i am not being nasty .. if you met me in real life .. guaranteed .. you would have the opposite opinion. Guaranteed.
There are NO NUMBERS like the Black community in terms of single motherhood. Oh no .. there is abosutely NO COMPARISION as compared to other ethinc group! Get real.
 
If you can't take birth control (What? All of them?) The tubes in your arm, the pill, the IUD etc. The IUD is just a little plastic thing that's presence in the uterus natutually prevents conceptoion. So there are no drugs involved at all. But there are other options.
 
Well, there is the natural 'rhythm method' that along with a condom ... is a natural method of birth contol which has been around since the 1930's.
 
OR there's the obvious 'just don't have sex'. Confused Having sex is not a requirement and if a guy presses you for sex ... he does not want you .. he wants a hole to fill.
 
Guys used to beg sex from me in highschool and thereaftet too too (shrugs) I just said no - I have plans for myself . In fact the marrage minded men that have something going on for themselves .. will put you in the 'nice girl, might wanna settle down with her'.. category if he sees you have standards.
 
Believe me 27 today is the EXACT SAME THING as being 27 when I was 27, when mr mother was 27 and her mother. Some things .. never change.
 
This is why I said .. these days if a girls DOES NOT want to get pregnant .. she will not get pregnant because there are ways to prevebt pregnancy but if it gets to be too much trouble to research your options then POOF .. pregnant.
 
It's a choice.
 
I did not say children growing up in single parent households were unhappy .. I said you are cheatring your child out of the life he deserves and for the mother .. it become a HARD LIFE where her potential is never reached. They are exceptions but surely this is a PLIGHT on the Black community .. but then everyone is so complacent and fine wit it. Duh!
 
Black folks will always be on the bottom of society until they get a clue.
 
Okay, I will get off my soapbox Embarrassed Good luck - I wish you well. (I'm just saying..)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 25 2013 at 7:57am
Anyways my boo didn't want to do the break anymore.. he's solo fishy wash sometimes, lol ugh men.. as long as he has his emotions under control, we cool.
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