Umm if you got pregnant outside of marriage at any age .. then you are the kind of person I am talking about.
You can't lay up with men such that you get pregnant to begin with .. period. Geesh, it never happened to me. There are a millions ways to prevent pregnancy and there is the Morning After pill and abortion if you get pregnant - so if you get pregant and give birth it's because you want to – not because you have to. It's a choice.
- cheats the child out of a well-balanced home life where they see a healthy interaction between the parents that can well afford to raise the children without always being tight on money and time and whatnot. It creates to much stress, neglect and distraction in the household otherwise which exposes children to risks such as the gangs, drugs, sexual abuse .. and the list goes on and on. Kids need attention and focus. Sure some mothers can manage .. but it comes at such a HIGH PRICE.
- the mother never becomes all she can be because you can't have a normal life if you are bringing up a child on your own (even with the help of other family members). There is nothing like a normal independent 'nuclear' family. Not to mention the number of men in and out of the mother's life .. while she is trying to find another man. That's just damaging.
- the child never 'knows' the father so does not feel valued so .. if the child is a girl she will likely end up with 'daddy issues' such that she is desperate for love from a man .. so she will get knocked up by some loser that will ALSO leave her. Her mother has modeled this behaviour so she will think this is an okay option too. If the child is a boy he will grow up without a 'father' role model so when he comes of age .. he will get some girl knocked up and leave her so that she is stuck raising the child alone too ... and the cycle repeats itself generation after generation. He never had a father role model to show him what it is to be a man and to be responsible (sexually and otherwise). Sorry, but a mother cannot teach a boy how to be a man.
IMO this popular business of having a baby without a father really cripples the Black community ... which is already crippled enough as it is! People are just so lax about getting knocked up these days .. but it sets them up for a stunted life. They never really reach their full potential because raising a child is hard work so mostly women just 'get by' but 'getting by' is not enough financially or emotionally for the child or the mother.
Ugh. Makes my skin crawl.
It doesn't mean that you don't love your kids but the exact same kid could come along years later when you are married and in a stable relationship where he/she could have it all! I wonder how low the population of gang bangers, drug addicts, pole dancers, prostitutes, prison inmates etc would be .. everyone kept their knees together or used effective birth control or abortion so that Black kids were all raised in stable, well-adjusted, two parent homes?
Have you looked at the stats for the number of Black children up for adoption, in foster care, in prison, on drugs etc .. The Black population is onbly 12.6% of the entire US population but over one half of children in foster care nationwide ... are Black.
Why is that? Too many irresponsible mothers or parents that give birth and 'opps' something happens so in the end .. The State has to take the kids.
How do you think those kids are gonna turn out raised in such a system?
I think this change would be a real turning point in the Black community which would allow time to develop the community in soooo many other critical ways. But geesh if a good portion of the community remains burdened with the raising/abandonment issues and finances of children and all the problems that stem from that ... there's not much leeway FOR ANYTHING ELSE.
It’s a hard life. And life doesn't HAVE to be that daggone hard. It's a choice.
Edited by Printer_Ink - Oct 20 2013 at 4:12am