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HELP CANCER MAN UPSET..WHAT TO DO?

 
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 5:09am
I don't know if I just skimmed too much but I did not read abuse and battered woman syndrome.

I just read a guy who was really freaking upset because he essentially wasted her time bringing some ain't-sh*t barber to op.

Maybe I'm no tripping because I myself am a Cancer and we experience emotion pretty strongly. But hun, the only way I recommend you leave is if that man ever harms you, physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I don't think this is anything to leave over. But I do think you need to talk to him because that outburst clearly worried you. Let him know he needs to control himself better because he's got some attributes that are poisoning the bond. Your bond is a good thing. You two should work to preserve it.
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Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 8:57am
Aww u a cancer too? Thats what i wanted to hear insight from another cancer now i see why he was so hurt.

If i was younger i wouldn't understand but Im really starting to like people who are in tune with their feelings.

I had a crush on my .bf in the 2nd grade i told him i liked him and he turned me down.

Years passed and i thought about him every blue moon.

I saw him again in highschool once but after that it seemed like he disappeared from the planet.


When i was pregnant i ran into him again on fb. He kept telling me how beautiful i was and apologizing about the second grade.. he didnt get into details about that but we talked for awhile and went our separate ways..


Towards the end of last year, i ran into him but didnt stop to conversant cuz i was busy..he seemed really happy to see me. When i got home then it hit me.. i hadn't seen that dude since highschool (a good 10yrs) at least and it had been years since we spoke on fb


A few days later i run into him again and i was in a rush once again. He hits me up on Facebook very flirty...i didnt notice at first cuz i was so wrapped up with me and my babydaddy issues.

He seemed really sincere and made me feel good about myself.. i gave in and gave him my number..
We talked all day everyday..asked to meet up one day i was like sure..

Now at this time i did have battered woman syndrome i was very angry, bitter, offensive. But he was so nice and sincere i couldnt help but change.. and when he saw me make progress Thats when he fell in love with me.

He told me he always liked me and was too scared to admit it in school and was upset with himself for years.

His best friend use to pick at us alot in school. He told me that my .bf liked me but i didnt believe him.

Jus to be on the safe side when we got together i put him on the 90day rule. He waited patiently and when we was intimate it was magical. Hes the first guy that ever made me squirt lol Tim i know.

We do have our problems but once we over come it we become closer.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 9:01am
Tim=tmi

Damn predictive text on my phone never right1
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 14 2013 at 11:01am
Originally posted by Twisted_Angel Twisted_Angel wrote:

Needed to hear that. We wanna have kids..Im glad Im able to keep him calm..he said he was still miserable today until he heard my voice (that better be true!).if he woulda came at me with sum .bs today i would of ended it.


Don't have kids with him until he can control his emotions better and you are married to him. Don't rush into it yet. His outburst of anger won't be fixed tomorrow. This thing takes time. It is a slow process, after all, he has been used to give in to his emotions his whole life, it won't change in a minute just because you disliked what he did.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 16 2013 at 2:05am
That story was beautiful, Twisted Cry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iluvmihair Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 16 2013 at 2:54am
Just take your time with this and if you pray, make sure you pray every step of the way. When you said that you were glad you are able to calm him, I thought of Michael Ealy's character in For Colored Girls. I know that is a HUGE difference with your man, but that's how Kimberly Elise's character felt. She could calm him, she was in control, but in reality, she wasn't. I pray everything works out for you, glad your young love came back around!! Big smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 16 2013 at 11:49am
Originally posted by iluvmihair iluvmihair wrote:

Just take your time with this and if you pray, make sure you pray every step of the way. When you said that you were glad you are able to calm him, I thought of Michael Ealy's character in For Colored Girls. I know that is a HUGE difference with your man, but that's how Kimberly Elise's character felt. She could calm him, she was in control, but in reality, she wasn't. I pray everything works out for you, glad your young love came back around!! Big smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 17 2013 at 6:32am
"Im not gonna call him cuz i ALWAYS make the first movers after a disagreement..he never takes the initiative.. "


i hope you change this way of  thinking.  you really get a feel for people on the way they handle situations.  if y'all have a disagreement/argument and he just leaves it alone and YOU are ALWAYS the one to go back and try to make a mends what does that tell you? is he fine with just leaving things as is? where is his fight for y'all relationship?

also, in terms of his aggressive behavior. i really hope that this instance (him getting in your face and surprising you) is not a sign of something bigger. i know cancer men, too. dealt with one in the past who was emotional and all over the place. but one thing he was never was aggressive and all up in my face.

don't take those things lightly. i have never been with a man, even in our most intense arguments that has been aggressive, in my face to the point where they scared me.

just be careful. and remember, just because one man is better than the rest you've dated, doesn't mean he is still the right man.  anyway, good luck and be careful!!

OH and NO BABIES BEFORE MARRIAGE.  i know you have one now, but none with this dude until y'all tie the knot. Wink






Edited by Spokenword - Oct 17 2013 at 6:34am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 17 2013 at 9:10am
OH and NO BABIES BEFORE MARRIAGE....
 
And I don't understand how this happens either. I never been pregnant in my life and in my 20's they only had the Pill and the IUD .. and that was fairly new on the market at  the time. 
 
Today ... they have a zillion ways of avoiding pregnancy .. so I will absolutely never understand this.


Edited by Printer_Ink - Oct 17 2013 at 9:12am
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Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 19 2013 at 4:10pm
^^^^^^^^^^crazy stuff can happen when u think you're in love. When i was 20 I wasnt even thinking about kids. I did have a child out of wedlock but Im not marrying that man, hes crazy, i got pregnant at 24.... ot too bad.. i just dont understand the really young ones under 21..

Nooo, lol. I would like to be settled into marriage..its not fair to the child..

These guys out here lie they ass off sellin u hopes and dreams.. definately use a condom.



Edited by Twisted_Angel - Oct 19 2013 at 4:11pm
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