Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Relationships
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - HELP CANCER MAN UPSET..WHAT TO DO?
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Perfect Hair Collection
 

HELP CANCER MAN UPSET..WHAT TO DO?

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>




The Best Human Hair Available with No Service Match

Author
Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 01 2010
Location: FL
Status: Offline
Points: 9377
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: HELP CANCER MAN UPSET..WHAT TO DO?
    Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 6:32am
Im a capricorn my .bf is a cancer.

We've been together almost a year and it's been wonderful, hes very loyal, kind and generous, people always telling us we look like a great couple and they can sense our happiness.

But hes too emotional and Idk how to handle it.

He introduced me and my brother to a barber.. this dude is cool.

Anyway i called dude yesterday we made an appointment to have him do my brothers hair then mine. (We all have dreams).

But dude stood us up. It wasnt a big deal to me until i saw my brothers face..i know hes been waiting weeksto gget his hair done.. and he looked so disappointed so i got upset also.

We was in the car and i guess my .bf got upset cuz he could sense how we was feeling and took the sh*t personally. Said it was his fault cuz he knew the guy and bought us to him..

After we took my bruh home this dude lost it was damn near to tears..wallowing in self pity. I tried my best to cheer him up.. i was very gentle.. i touched his shoulder..

That calmed him for a few secs.

But when i told him to slow down on the road seems like it made him even more upset. Hes an emotionally driver and was speeding and driving wreckless and my daughter in the back seat too aint having that.

When he gets upset he shuts down completely it's like hes unaware of what hes doing to his self or others and Idk what to do but leave..

I can tell he doesn't want me to go but when i stay things get worse.

Ima capricorn so Im always calm very seriously the exterior but not so much interior. Idk how to handle all this goodness..

It's happened before and hes tried to hide it from me but he cant cuz i see it written all over his face.

Normally he calls me every night to make sure i make it home but he didnt call me last night.

He pissed me off cuz he jumped in my face and was really aggressive.. it surprised me cuz is a side i haven't seen..

I told him to leave cuz he was pissin me off..

Im not gonna call him cuz i ALWAYS make the first movers after a disagreement..he never takes the initiative.. Idk if it's cuz hes scared.. and he will go for days without talking to me then say he knows i was upset..

Idk what to do Im not mad jus confused..we still got alot to learn about each other but I hate seeing him so down miserable..


I tried talkin to him before i left last night couldnt get two words in before he was screaming.. i did get a lil rude with him earlier only cuz he was starting to hurt my feelings..


It's soo petty right!! Smh

Edited by Twisted_Angel - Oct 13 2013 at 7:31am
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 01 2010
Location: FL
Status: Offline
Points: 9377
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 6:47am
Dreams** meant dreads
Back to Top
Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 01 2010
Location: FL
Status: Offline
Points: 9377
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 6:50am
Omg bhm wont let me edit sorry for typos
Back to Top
Printer_Ink View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 29 2011
Location: Amsterdam
Status: Offline
Points: 22533
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 8:30am
Originally posted by Twisted_Angel Twisted_Angel wrote:

Im a capricorn my .bf is a cancer.

We've been together almost a year and it's been wonderful, hes very loyal, kind and generous, people always telling us we look like a great couple and they can sense our happiness.

But hes too emotional and Idk how to handle it.

He introduced me and my brother to a barber.. this dude is cool.

Anyway i called dude yesterday we made an appointment to have him do my brothers hair then mine. (We all have dreams).

But dude stood us up. It wasnt a big deal to me until i saw my brothers face..i know hes been waiting weeksto gget his hair done.. and he looked so disappointed so i got upset also.

We was in the car and i guess my .bf got upset cuz he could sense how we was feeling and took the sh*t personally. Said it was his fault cuz he knew the guy and bought us to him..

After we took my bruh home this dude lost it was damn near to tears..wallowing in self pity. I tried my best to cheer him up.. i was very gentle.. i touched his shoulder..

That calmed him for a few secs.

But when i told him to slow down on the road seems like it made him even more upset. Hes an emotionally driver and was speeding and driving wreckless and my daughter in the back seat too aint having that.

When he gets upset he shuts down completely it's like hes unaware of what hes doing to his self or others and Idk what to do but leave..

I can tell he doesn't want me to go but when i stay things get worse.

Ima capricorn so Im always calm very seriously the exterior but not so much interior. Idk how to handle all this goodness..

It's happened before and hes tried to hide it from me but he cant cuz i see it written all over his face.

Normally he calls me every night to make sure i make it home but he didnt call me last night.

He pissed me off cuz he jumped in my face and was really aggressive.. it surprised me cuz is a side i haven't seen..

I told him to leave cuz he was pissin me off..

Im not gonna call him cuz i ALWAYS make the first movers after a disagreement..he never takes the initiative.. Idk if it's cuz hes scared.. and he will go for days without talking to me then say he knows i was upset..

Idk what to do Im not mad jus confused..we still got alot to learn about each other but I hate seeing him so down miserable..


I tried talkin to him before i left last night couldnt get two words in before he was screaming.. i did get a lil rude with him earlier only cuz he was starting to hurt my feelings..


It's soo petty right!! Smh
 
Umm he sounds .. unstable. Ouch
 
People show you who they are early on and .. in a millions ways. Do you want to spend the rest of your life dealing with such a volitile guy that ... likes to play head games with you? Whoa..
 
You are now seeing who he really is aside from the 'nice guy' image   and in another year  he will be worse only he will be even more entrenched in your life and harder to get rid of. He needs counseling for his problemss or you will be stuck 'carrying'  him until  one day he REALLY get agressive, goes off and then you will be in a really bad situation.
 
When you report him to the cops .. the first thing they will ask is 'if you knew he was like this a year ago .. why did you stay?'. To which you will reply .. 'he's really' a good guy though and I love him'. So then the cops will look at each other, roll their eyes and think .. 'anorher one'. Confused
 
You need to recognize when a guy is OFF. Save yourself the headache because this situation is doomed to get worse. Learn to trust your instincts before you are just another female dealing with some crazy dude.
 
Horoscope signs ... don't mean anything either. Duh!
 
I'll break it down for you:
 
Item: 'people always telling us we look like a great couple and they can sense our happiness.'.  This does not mean anything. It's what is going BEHIND closed doors when there is no audience that tells you what kind if man you are deaking with. This is not a Movie or TV show. 
 
Item: 'After we took my bruh home this dude lost it was damn near to tears..wallowing in self pity..' What the heck kind of guy falls apart for something like this. Unstable. Why are YOU trying to comfort this grown man?
 
Item: 'Hes an emotionally driver and was speeding and driving wreckless and my daughter in the back seat'. Good grief .. this would be an immediate red flag .. putting your CHILD'S life in danger! He's nuts. Do not get in the car with fool again.
 
Item: 'When he gets upset he shuts down completely it's like hes unaware of what hes doing to his self '...' In others words he is self-centered  and can't cope with reality so he turns off and when he turns on ... he flips out on you.
 
Ïtem: '... when i stay things get worse'. Worse meaning WHAT?  If he verbally abuses you .. this is the precurser to physical abuse.
 
Item: '..He pissed me off cuz he jumped in my face and was really aggressive.. it surprised me cuz is a side i'  What is 'really aggressive' like? Never stay with an aggressive man. If I am ever with a man that frightens me .. it's over.
 
Item:  ' I ALWAYS make the first movers after a disagreement..he never takes the initiative.. Idk if it's cuz hes scared.. and he will go for days without talking to me then say he knows i was upset..

Read .. he is manipulative. Why are you making the first move anyway? You are relinquishing your power if you have to chase a man! I neveeerr do this.
 
Item: 'left last night couldnt get two words in before he was screaming'.  Read .. he's nuts.
 
 
Cut him lose.


Edited by Printer_Ink - Oct 13 2013 at 10:08am
Back to Top
Jess View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 23 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 60882
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 9:18am
Leave him
Back to Top
Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 01 2010
Location: FL
Status: Offline
Points: 9377
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 12:54pm
This guy never put his hands on me and i know he never will.. it's easy for y'all to say leave him but this is The best relationship ive ever been in
Ive been beatin and abused before..he goes the extra mile to take care of me and my daughter. This is the only issue i have with him. He opens up to me more and more everyday. If i spent my life looking for the perfect man i would never find him. His anger is weird.. he was attacking himself.. he didnt cuss me out at all..he was pretty much screaming about how an awful person he was. I just wanted to sooth him Thats all.

Am i prepared to deal with this the rest of my life? Yes i am. U take the good with the bad in the relationship..

This is the longest ive ever been with anybody and not have any serious problems until now..

Ive know the symptoms of an abusive man and he is not.. plus my anger is way worse than his.. i can treat somebody like they dont exist me.

He did listen to me for something's especially about the baby. It's difficult to be around somebody Thats so emotional. He hides it very well sometimes but he lets it build up. As far as astrology to each their own.

But thanks for takin time to reply:)

All comments welcome plz continue.

Edited by Twisted_Angel - Oct 13 2013 at 12:55pm
Back to Top
Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 01 2010
Location: FL
Status: Offline
Points: 9377
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 1:00pm
When i met him i had gotten out of an abusive relationship.. Im not a sensitive or emotional person but sometimes i would like to be.. he helped me see things in a healthier way.. and i changed myself cuz that type of life was really changing me for the worst.

Maybe i came off to strong in my first post..
Back to Top
Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 01 2010
Location: FL
Status: Offline
Points: 9377
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 1:01pm
Unknowingly hes helping me heal
I would like to do the same for him. Hes never cursed me out. Me when i get mad it's like .fk u.. Im calling him all types of names and doin crazy .bs.. and he tolerates all of that..now how it's gonna look as soon as he gets upset i run..? Im not like that. Sorry.

Edited by Twisted_Angel - Oct 13 2013 at 1:07pm
Back to Top
BBpants View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 24 2011
Location: No1curr
Status: Offline
Points: 191724
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 1:24pm
You can't fix a man with emotional issues.....He has build up anger against himself and hopefully he doesn't turn that anger on you.
Back to Top
Printer_Ink View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 29 2011
Location: Amsterdam
Status: Offline
Points: 22533
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 1:40pm
WHOAAAAA.
 
This is all I had to read to see that you are too far gone for my advice.
'..it's easy for y'all to say leave him best relationship ive ever been in
Ive been beatin and abused before..he goes the extra mile to take care of me and my daughter. This is the only issue i have with him.'
 
'....Am i prepared to deal with this the rest of my life? Yes i am. U take the good with the bad in the relationship..'
Ah, you mean ... this lonnnng list of issues is the only SET of issues you have had with him because there is a LOT there. Any one of them would be a dealbreaker for me - but they are all okay for you? Wow. 
 
Bad is when your man can't cook and makes a mess of the kitchen. Bad is when everytime he works on the yard ... he  ends up talking to the neighbors and letting the yard get so bad that either you have to cut it or hire the kid down the street.  BAD is when he keeps leaving the toliet seat up and in the middle of the night you PLOP down on the urine droped edges of the toilet. Bad is when everytime he boss gives him an extra 1000 bonus ... he tries to hide it from you so that he can sink more money into that broken down motorbike spread out in the garage. Bad is when he loses his job and you have to downsize to make ends meet until he can get a better job. Bad is him loving his mama's 3 bean salad which gives him gas and stinks up the bedroom. And the list goes on.
 
But THIS list doesn't fall into the category of abuse ands threats. No. This is just regular life with a guy that sometimes gets on your nerves.
 
What you are dealing with is not just the Bad... it MORE than just bad ... and it's gonna get worse.
 
Yes, it is VERY easy for people like me to say you shoudl drop him because people like me NEVER get into abusive relationships of any kind. Never. And you are now in another abusive relationship you just can't see it. People like me also have too big of an opinion of themselves and their value to be with a ratfink guy .. just because he is better than all the other ratfinks you have dated. 
 
Wow. You have set the bar too low (like on the floor!) .. if he's the best you've come across.
 
You are a A ZILLIONS times better off with NO MAN than to be with such a man. You really need help - more than I can give you on this board if you are actually willing to stay with this loser. I just feel sorry for your child who have to be subjected to this irrational behavior throughout his childhood! Wow.
 
Life can be so wonderful and joyful  .. whether you are in a relationship or whether you are on your own.  You don't need to be a relationship to be happy. Raise your standards, hold out for a DECENT guy to come along or go it alone.
 
Good luck.
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
House of CB London
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
The Elite Hair Care Sorority
Electric Cherry Hair
Hair Extensions Wefted Hair Wigs and More
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Dime Curves Enhancement Shake
Dependable Quality Hair
Switch Up your Look with a protective Style
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down