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He Doesn't Like My Natural Hair

 
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Mizz_Scorpio View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jun 07 2014 at 9:37am
I've never been in this situation before.

Before I begin, I must say I usually do not pursue men who do not like natural hair, but this is different. He and I had a friendship for a couple of years before taking things a step further. He never expressed his dislike for natural hair until AFTER we decided to become a couple.

He says, "Well, I support it", but at the same times only think natural hair is good for the beach and pools Angry then goes on to say, "I like wavy hair, but nothing past that." To him the only hair that looks "neat" and "professional" is hair that is either straightened or pulled back. 

I refuse to straighten my hair because:
1) I'm not heat damaging my hair.
2) If I am going to straighten on a regular, I may as well go back to a relaxer.
3) I like my curls Smile.

Ya'll, I'm getting annoyed and frustrated.

I'm thinking about walking away and saving our friendship.  
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 07 2014 at 12:26pm
Your partner accepting you in your entirety is a basic need in a relationship.

I won't tell you to leave but I'll tell you to keep your bags packed! Don't unpack!
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Mizz_Scorpio View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mizz_Scorpio Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 07 2014 at 2:42pm
Oh, trust. I have NOT unpacked my bags. LOL

I don't get it. We've been friends for 5 years, and I've had natural hair for 2 years and I'm just now finding out that he doesn't like natural hair AFTER we get into a relationship?AngryAngry
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AriesBabe09 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AriesBabe09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 07 2014 at 6:02pm
I agree with Midna he should accept you entirely. However its his opinion and if its not affecting your relationship negatively...meaning hes not degrading you or telling you should straighten/change it why leave. But then again on the other hand part of me would be like if he likes "wavy hair" then maybe he needs to find him a wavy head chick. Well....at least you still have your bags packed just incase.
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Beauty620 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 09 2014 at 8:13am
If you are happy with your natural hair, then like you said ...do not straighten it for him. It sounds like he is picky, and you know what that can lead to. 

I would save the friendship and probably end the relationship, even tho you may be ending the entire friendship/relationship once you do so. But if you ask me if he can't accept you for who you are then he doesn't deserve you. I shook my head when you said he likes wavy or straightened hair pulled back, if he don't get his a** outta here with that bs. Thumbs Down
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Blac1Chyna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Blac1Chyna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 09 2014 at 10:05am
you're dating a coon!

save the relationship before u end up hating him
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Wanttobefree3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wanttobefree3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 03 2014 at 11:04am
Natural is beautiful because it's the real you. And if he don't like you fully but part of you then you guys should only be friends. Don't be scared to tell him, hey I like our friendship more,lets keep it for a life time and find our true soul mates.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 03 2014 at 5:24pm
some dudes be wanting to change women, but swear that it is the other way around. if you asked him to do a physical change (work out and get ripped/cut his locs/beard/etc), would he do it? I think that he is asking a lot to be a recent b/c and it wouldnt be a big deal if he was a long term bf, fiance or husband putting in the comment after you switched your hair up, but imo, the relationship is new and he needs to fall back a bit, but it is good that he is comfortable enough to let you know what his preferences are and what is is attracted to.
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