having the Title

Umm I didn't say anything about that 'Think like a Man' book that Steve Harvey put out. He is a dog that cheated and dogged out his first wife and then tried to make it all her fault because .. she let him dog her out. :( He's no expert.

No, I am talking about books that have been around for 20-30 some years written by Relationship experts that are not just trying get on Oprah. :)

Again .. it is not a game ...it's nature but when people misinterpret what they read .. they will fail and then they will say these kinds of books are useless and you should not play games.

All of what you are saying above is in these books actually .. the thing is it's not always enough to tell a girl these things because she has to use her judgement to assertain if his actions are aloof or if he is bs or whatever. Women don't always have the maturity or the instincts to recognize if the guy is being real - maybe she is even lieing to herself because she wants it to work no matter what - so then her vison is hazy...

There's a lot.

So the obvious is NOT to sleep with him for 2 - 3 months until you figure out if he is a keeper but yes, women can be lonely, horny or whatever and get swept away in the moment .. so whooosh .. that guy is gone and she is hurt. :( Happens every day.

Basically these TIME HONORED books offer insight into the male mind so that even though the girl 'thinks' she has got it together... when she asks a question like 'where do you think this is going' which basically messes it all up - it clear she does not have it together. So whatever little bit of relationship they had ....on put into a tail spin.

And really this guy is not acting like he wants anything real anyway ... but she is not recognizing the signs.

It's a study and women need to study how men think to avoid making mistakes ... this is all I am saying.

The OP is gone anyway and likely still misinterpreting what she is reading if the books are making her mad .., instead of making her think 'Ohhhh' (light bulb goes off in the head) as she recognizes her mistakes.

You have to recognize them though (and maybe that makes her mad for a minute)... if she hopes to avoid repeating them. :)

Oh well.

Hi sorry, I hadn't got a email notification in days that I was still getting responses to this plus it was my bday weekend so I was off having fun... thank you for anyone that responded back again.... I get what everyone is saying about those books and in the past I have read and applied the advice given in those books to some guys I've talked to. But for the most part it makes me feel like im not being myself

But as far as this guy goes no im not sleeping with him. And as of right now sex with him doesn't even cross my mind.. yes i have seen him only bc he was invited to my bday party by mutual friends who dont know that we were talking... I basically ignored him most of the night bc I just wanted to have fun and not think about the drama. Funny thing is my family liked him they said he was very attentive to me but I was drunk and remember nothing oh well...

He did try to talk to me about what happen... saying he misses how things were I guess he means the cutesy way I was around him bc he wasn't getting any. And he said the question caught him off gaurd and that I've always had exclusivity

However, The feelings I had that essentially made me ask him that question have all but disappeared. .. I still like him but im not stressing anything at the moment.

Again thank you all for the advice

BINGO!