Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Have you ladies let anyone out of the friend zone?
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

Have you ladies let anyone out of the friend zone?

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 2345>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Bootiful Cream



Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 2 Votes, Average 3.00  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 06 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 116516
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 1:58pm
Cheers Beer to the "untouchables" in the "Eye Candy" Zone Evil Smile


Chile......
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Random Thoughts View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 10 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 132557
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 1:59pm
I read a few articles recently from women who say the concept of friend zone is sexist. Was an interesting read.

On the topic, I've broken out of friend zone a few times. Big smile
Back to Top
PurplePhase View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 08 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 194435
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 2:07pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:



On the topic, I've broken out of friend zone a few times. Big smile


did you go back to friends when it was over?
Back to Top
iliveforbhm View Drop Down
Guest Group
Guest Group
Avatar

Joined: Dec 27 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 15094
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iliveforbhm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 2:08pm
Good job Random Thoughts!!!! Breaking out of that zone is the greatest joy known to man! But never getting caught in it is the best thing. Always think like DMX - What these B!t***s want and you'll never have to worry. Even bark like you crazy, chicks lie and say they don't like crazy niccas and keep that body tight and don't smile too much unless you a funny negro and take all types of martial arts. Chicks love a barbarian.
Back to Top
kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 06 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 116516
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 2:09pm
Originally posted by iliveforbhm iliveforbhm wrote:

Good job Random Thoughts!!!! Breaking out of that zone is the greatest joy known to man! But never getting caught in it is the best thing. Always think like DMX - What these B!t***s want and you'll never have to worry. Even bark like you crazy, chicks lie and say they don't like crazy niccas and keep that body tight and don't smile too much unless you a funny negro and take all types of martial arts. Chicks love a barbarian.


Dead I would like for my man to NOT be a crackhead for starters and also maybe not refer to me as a bitch.   That'll do it for now. 
Back to Top
smaison View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 28 2007
Location: myworld
Status: Offline
Points: 64243
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote smaison Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 2:11pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

I read a few articles recently from women who say the concept of friend zone is sexist. Was an interesting read.

On the topic, I've broken out of friend zone a few times. Big smile


lanks?
Back to Top
Random Thoughts View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 10 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 132557
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 2:13pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:



On the topic, I've broken out of friend zone a few times. Big smile


did you go back to friends when it was over?


We say we're friends to this day but we don't hang out or do any other 'friendly' activities. So I dunno if that would count as going back to being friends.  My gf now had me in the friend zone until we went to college.
Back to Top
Random Thoughts View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 10 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 132557
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 2:14pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

I read a few articles recently from women who say the concept of friend zone is sexist. Was an interesting read.

On the topic, I've broken out of friend zone a few times. Big smile


lanks?


Here's one.

The Friendzone is a Sexist Myth

30 Jan

by Erin Riordan

The Friendzone isn’t real. The idea that every “Nice Guy” is owed sex or a romantic relationship by his female friends is ridiculous. And if you think that’s not what Friendzoning is about, it absolutely is.

The movie Just Friends perhaps explains friendzoning best with the line, “See when a girl decides that you’re her friend, you’re no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”

Or Urban Dictionary with, “When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, or more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do to get out without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things girls do, whether they mean it or not.”

To some degree, the assumption of every guy claiming to be “friendzoned” is that if they indicate an interest in one of their friends, she is in some way obligated to return the interest, and reward it with a relationship or sex. This assumption is problematic for a whole host of reasons, but most in that it ignores choice. Everyone has the right to say “Yes” or “No” to someone’s romantic or sexual interest. There is no obligation to return interest, and if a person rejects you, it does not make them an awful person. Especially when that person is your friend.

I understand that rejection sucks. It hurts and it’s sh*tty when someone you like, want to have a relationship with, want to have sex with, etc. doesn’t return that interest. However, no one is obligated to be interested in you or want those things with you. While sex may very well be a human need, it is not something anyone has a right to, and thus we are not “owed” it.

Underlying the promulgation of friendzoning is the idea that a female friend who rejects her guy friend’s advances is a bad person, and is a bad person in part because she sees her friend as just that-a friend. As a brilliant person on the Internet wrote, “Friendzoning is bullsh*t because girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.” This line wonderfully highlights the inherent sexism in friendzoning. That women should in any way be obligated to reciprocate sexual or romantic interest completely undermines the notion of women as autonomous people with the right to make their own decisions, and especially the right to make their own decisions about romantic relationships and sex.

No person is ever obligated to return romantic interest. That we penalize and antagonize women who reject men interested in them is sexist, and, to beat a dead horse, stands against the idea that women are equal.

If a guy determines he is interested in a woman, there are a few obvious courses of action. If he has just met her, he can indicate his interest in her. At that point, it is the woman’s choice to either return his interest or to reject him. If a guy doesn’t realize his interest in a woman until they are already friends, he can tell her how he feels. There is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is to react to rejection by that friend by calling her a slut or a bitch and complaining about how he is just a “nice guy” unfairly trapped in the friendzone.

The now-defunct tumblr, niceguysofOKCupid, documented this phenomenon of men behaving badly after being rejected by a female friend. (Note: I do take issue with many of the privacy implications of this tumblr, however, it provides ample evidence of the “Nice Guy” phenomenon and thus I’m referencing it). Profile after profile showed self-described “nice guys” ranting about “bitch women who always talk about wanting a nice guy and then go for the asshole.” Many news sites collected highlights from this tumblr showing men proclaim, “[I am] a really really nice guy” and then answer questions like ‘Would you ever film a sexual encounter without your partner knowing?’ with, “I’m not sure.” Hint: If you’re not sure whether or not you would film a sexual encounter without your partner’s consent, you’re not a nice guy, you’re an ASSHOLE.

Another disturbing example is the man who describes himself as, “a scientist, a philosopher, an engineer, storyteller, but above all else what I truly am is a gentleman,” and answers the question ‘Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you?’ with a “Yes.” The number of men featured on niceguysofOKCupid who answer that question in the affirmative is astoundingly high, and something I find deeply disturbing and upsetting. There are NO CIRCUMSTANCES under which a person is obligated to have sex. That is what consent is all about. Everyone has the right to say “Yes” or “No” to any sexual encounter, and everyone has the right to give, or not give, consent and to have that decision be respected. When consent is violated then a person has been sexually assaulted or raped. No man who disrespects consent or the idea of consent is a gentleman or “Nice Guy.”

This sort of answer happens again and again with these so-called “Nice Guys” claiming to be friendzoned. One friendzoned gentleman (his description, not mine) answers the question, ‘Someone is drunkenly flirting with you. You know that with a sober mind this person would never engage in casual sex, but now it seems that they’re willing. What do you do?’ with “Take advantage of the situation.” Taking advantage of someone who is drunk and unable to give consent is sexual assault, end of story. The number of friendzoned men who fundamentally misunderstand sex, consent, and choice is ridiculous, and highlights the fact that friendzoning is based on the idea that men are owed sex and women are the people who have to give it to them.

Beyond that, friendzoning suggests that all women are good for is sex. When a man laments the three years he wasted as a friend of a woman, only to be romantically rejected at the end of it all, he invalidates the idea that this woman might have any other worth beyond sex.  The reward of being someone’s friend is not sex, it is friendship. If you are actually this person’s friend then their friendship is a really awesome reward.

As friendzoning gets an increasing amount of attention the dialogue around friendzoning has begun to change. The voices that recognize that women are people worthy of friendship and worthy of having their choices respected are beginning to dominate the conversation, and are delegitimizing the friendzoning phenomenon. Hopefully with this dialogue shift we can see the death of the “Nice Guy,” and focus instead on the men in our lives who are truly awesome people worthy of friendship, and if both parties desire, more.


http://feministsatlarge.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/the-friendzone-is-a-sexist-myth/


Back to Top
mangachan View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: May 12 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 16574
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mangachan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 11:07pm
My dude friends are friendzoned because most of them are married or almost there sooooo. yeeeah.
Back to Top
missdeeluxe View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 12 2011
Location: Michigan
Status: Offline
Points: 6624
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote missdeeluxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 24 2014 at 11:13pm
Once.
It didn't end well.

We dated for quite a while but the chemistry and attraction just wasn't there.
It's a shame because he was one of my closest friends and that ruined our relationship Disapprove

Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Little Black Scarf
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 2345>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down