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Has anyone's parents gotten divorced later in life

 
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 24 2012 at 8:17pm
ahh bubbly and starflower Hug

sounds trite but you can just hope that they will be happy 

it's hard to convince people to try counseling and to be honest if the counselor isn't someone they can look up to and understands their cultural background ... it'll be hard to get through to them

I hope it'll all work itself out
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hugs to bubb and anyone else going thru.

when my brother and sil divorced it really did a # on my nephew. they were waiting until my nephew left home for college. And by waiting, I mean literally waiting.. for years they had been living separate in the same home just coounting the days until he left. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 24 2012 at 8:28pm
Originally posted by PurpleHaze PurpleHaze wrote:

Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:

My parents officially divorced like 3-4 yrs ago (mind you I just turned 30) however they've been "separated" since I was in single digit years.

They stayed legally married bc neither one really seemed terribly motivated to seal the deal and my dad wasn't one to contest visitations, etc. Ehhh, by the time my parents finally divorced...no one even cared, they'd been apart for so long anyway.


no offense, but were they dating other people during that time?LOL
(we here don't believe in dating until the divorce is completely finalized. LOL)


My dad was, my mom wasn't. And by the end my mom was in NJ and my dad was back home in IN.

My dad is a strange bird...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 24 2012 at 8:30pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



My parents stayed together, but honestly they shouldn't have. Sometimes you gotta save yourself

I honestly think my parents are some sick people to be staying together to this very day. They promised me they would divorce when I graduated from high school, but they're still together, ruining peoples lives and being ratchet.
I'm going to hell for laughing at that.LOL

My parents divorced after my dad retired but I do wish mine would have done it sooner and not 'stayed for the kids'.Dead
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 24 2012 at 10:17pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:


Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



My parents stayed together, but honestly they shouldn't have. Sometimes you gotta save yourself

I honestly think my parents are some sick people to be staying together to this very day. They promised me they would divorce when I graduated from high school, but they're still together, ruining peoples lives and being ratchet.
I'm going to hell for laughing at that.LOL

My parents divorced after my dad retired but I do wish mine would have done it sooner and not 'stayed for the kids'.Dead



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Originally posted by bubblyboo bubblyboo wrote:

My parents have been married for 35 years and this year I think this is the year that they will finally call it quits. My dad has cheated on my mom since I was in highschool and I'm in my late twenties. She recently started cheating on him in the past 5 years and just like Mr Vegas, he can't take it now that its been done to him. He stopped paying bills, contributing to the household and I think shes fed up but just can't let go.
 See, the problem is getting so used to the craziness that you can't walk away.  Your mom should have left a LONG time ago, or at the very least, got into the position where his absense didn't affect her home. So many women stay, become miserable, and are too paralyzed to make a change.
 
My parents live in a small town and we know all his business. Hes even rumored to have a child with another woman
WHAT???!!!  OH HELL NO!!
 
I know people think that its weird to be sooo upset about someone else's relationship but when you've seen so much over the course of a decade between two people that you care about, you're just torn and heartbroken.

I could go on and on but I just don't understand how two people who once loved each other can do everything possible to tear each other down and hate each other. My mom is truly trying to make things work because shes been with him since she was 14 and doesn't know anything else.
The only thing she needs to know is SHE CAN DO BAD BY HEROWNDAMNSELF!
 
 She sees the wrongs shes done as a married woman but he doesn't see it that way. All he does is point the finger about how she cheated and how she loved someone else that wasn't him (even though this happened 5 years ago while he cheated for YEARS with the housekeeper, my grandfather's hospice nurse and even friends of a friend of mine).
tbh, I don't see how your moms hasn't snapped and cut your daddy.  For real!  That is emotional abuse. By staying she is missing out on finding someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
 
 I want my mom to be happy but their effed up relationship has torn our already fragile family apart. I think we all could use some counseling, her especially.
 
Yes, I would go to counseling, BY MYSELF, cause imo, at this point there is nothing to save in the relationship.  The grown kids will be fine.  That marrige is an example of what not to do, and you should know what they eat won't make you fat. Good luck girl!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bubblyboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 12:36am
Originally posted by PeacefulOne PeacefulOne wrote:

Originally posted by bubblyboo bubblyboo wrote:

My parents have been married for 35 years and this year I think this is the year that they will finally call it quits. My dad has cheated on my mom since I was in highschool and I'm in my late twenties. She recently started cheating on him in the past 5 years and just like Mr Vegas, he can't take it now that its been done to him. He stopped paying bills, contributing to the household and I think shes fed up but just can't let go.
 See, the problem is getting so used to the craziness that you can't walk away.  Your mom should have left a LONG time ago, or at the very least, got into the position where his absense didn't affect her home. So many women stay, become miserable, and are too paralyzed to make a change.
 
My parents live in a small town and we know all his business. Hes even rumored to have a child with another woman
WHAT???!!!  OH HELL NO!!
 
I know people think that its weird to be sooo upset about someone else's relationship but when you've seen so much over the course of a decade between two people that you care about, you're just torn and heartbroken.

I could go on and on but I just don't understand how two people who once loved each other can do everything possible to tear each other down and hate each other. My mom is truly trying to make things work because shes been with him since she was 14 and doesn't know anything else.
The only thing she needs to know is SHE CAN DO BAD BY HEROWNDAMNSELF!
 
 She sees the wrongs shes done as a married woman but he doesn't see it that way. All he does is point the finger about how she cheated and how she loved someone else that wasn't him (even though this happened 5 years ago while he cheated for YEARS with the housekeeper, my grandfather's hospice nurse and even friends of a friend of mine).
tbh, I don't see how your moms hasn't snapped and cut your daddy.  For real!  That is emotional abuse. By staying she is missing out on finding someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
 
 I want my mom to be happy but their effed up relationship has torn our already fragile family apart. I think we all could use some counseling, her especially.
 
Yes, I would go to counseling, BY MYSELF, cause imo, at this point there is nothing to save in the relationship.  The grown kids will be fine.  That marrige is an example of what not to do, and you should know what they eat won't make you fat. Good luck girl!

See thats the thing. She did leave him. In fact she kicked dat ass out of the house back in 2010 after she found out about the last chick and the possible baby on the way. She was in a happy place dating and working on herself. I mean the guy she was dating was an absolute hood figure but he made her happy and hey he wan't mr right but more like mr. right now. She was good. Then my dad just wiggled his way back into the picture telling her that he sought counseling and made a change and that he was heartbroken without her. She fell for it and let him come back. Within a few months, he was back to his old ways and here were are again. UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!! Shes not completely innocent but JEESUS my dad is wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong x 100000.

You talking about cutting somebody. Thats how I know its over.... she really did snap the eff out and grabbed a knife when they were arguing. She almost cut his ass. Shes really angry and bitter about everything thats happened. I think shes the most upset about moving on how she did a few years back and now being sucked back into things to where she is now and NOT being able to move on when she had done so before. She has been emotionally abused. I mean they both have done it to each other. Theres so much more. It just gets crazier by the second. We need JESUS!
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bubblyboo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bubblyboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 12:37am
Thanks to everyone. This is one of the hardest things I've been through in my life smgdh Cry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:20am
Wow, bubbly. I empathize with your situation, as I'm sure it brings up a lot of emotions for you. But if your mom decides to put an end to this, its best you be supportive. You're grown at this point and you realize what your dad has been putting her through all these years. She deserves to not have to deal with this level of toxicity in her own home. If they were to separate, nothing prevents you from having a relationship with both of them, as their daughter. But maybe her time has come now (that is, if she's truly willing to go there, which might not be the case). Take it as a lesson as to what NOT to do in your current relationships. Sometimes, that is a gift in itself, if you heed.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote keepgrowing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:50am
My friends parents did that. Waited until the last child was in college and the dad bought a condo and moved out of the house. 
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