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Has a man ever hit you?

 
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reneex View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote reneex Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 28 2013 at 1:44pm
nope
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmiliaCabral Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2013 at 8:29pm
One of my exes broke my nose when I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. He hadn't hit me before but he was controlling and I knew he was gonna hit me at some point. He sure did.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2013 at 9:29am
Whoa. Word to the wise ladies.. stay away from men that try to control you.
Never comes to a good end.Shocked
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2013 at 8:18pm
Yes, and at the time I had to go to work with a slight blk eye. And just so happened my mother came up to my job to visit me and I was like aaaaaaaaaaaah Daaaaaaaaaamn....she saw my face and asked what happened. She was so not happy. Me and my partner at the time used to always have it out, but that hit was the first and last time. Ouch Sleepy  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2013 at 5:13am
Yes, but that's thing. You can't engage in those 'have it out' kind of fights... ever.
 
I think people need to recognize how to have a fight with someone they love or at least someone they want to keep in their lives. Sounds simple but in all my 57 years - yes, I been in fights with men but they were verbal fights over an issue. Period. So it never got to the character assassination, name calling, cussing, threating, throwing things, I hate you etc level. Never. That stuff is crazy.
 
If he is going to do any of the above in a fight early on .. I am gonna back out of that relationship because this is fighting dirty. And when the fight is over all I am gonna remember is that he called me a XYZ. The next time he says something ugly to me for any reason I am gonna be gone because íf that's how we are starting the relationship - ohhh then it can only get WORSE .. umm ....much worse later on.
 
I think this is why sooo many women end up these constant domestic abuse situations. They don't recognize the warning signals early on - they just jump in there and start going at him too..
 
So I'm through.
 
You learn a lot about a guy when you see how he fights so I think you have to be careful not to say things in anger that you can't take back or that will truely hurt the other person when the fight is over. Otherwise you damage the relationship forever.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote rebelle . Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2013 at 10:13pm
I was in a physically abusive relationship for a little over a year, back when I was 20/21.  I am 22 now.  I met him the first weekend I got stationed at my new base, fresh from training.  I was young, stupid, missing my family, and EXTREMELY naive.  This was the first relationship I'd ever been in where a man put his hands on me and also, a man cheated on me and took extreme low blows when we would argue.  I was very, very, very close with his mother & this also played a role in why I stayed for so long.

There were only three times he put his hands on me, all three were when he was high & drunk.  The first time his mother was actually on the phone when we were arguing & when it happened.  The cops were called because I was screaming so loud, but once they came, he convinced them we were just verbally arguing.  The next morning his mother convinced me that it was an actual fight between us, rather than him putting his hands on me.  I ended up convincing myself the same, even though in hindsight, I never put my hands on him.  I only tried to get him off of me.  But my relationship with his mother, as well as me being naive & very immature, made me believe I should take partial blame & I ended up staying.

The second time, he actually injured me to the point where I had to have major surgery on my foot.  Since that incident, I've have had another surgery on my foot & I go to the doctor every month, all because he was drunk, irrational, and upset over something I said.

The third & final time, he pinned me down, shoved me into a glass mirror, & threw me out of his apartment, barefoot & bleeding.  I was devastated.  I ended up driving to my best friend's house with no shoes & she called the cops.  His mother tried to convince me once again that this was my fault, because he was upset since he just found out he was getting kicked out the Air Force, & I shouldn't have gone over to his house.  I ended up blocking her number that night & getting a restraining order against him.  I haven't spoken to him or his mother since.  He got kicked out & moved back home.

This relationship made me distant to all of my friends & at the time, destroyed my relationship with my mother.  My mom is my best friend & I kept the physical abuse away from her,  I just told her about the horrible arguments we would have & my mom couldn't understand why I put up with his disrespect & cheating, when I came from a household where my dad worshiped my mother.  My parents are literally the modern day Huxtables.  They never argued in front of us, never raised their voices at each other, never disrespected each other in front of us.  My dad adores my mother, & vice versa.  I was truly blessed to be in a household where my parents are soul mates.

I don't know why I stayed for so long... But looking back, I thank my friend for calling the cops, because I know if she wouldn't have, there would be a huge chance I would still be with him.  Just going to the police station, having my picture taken, answering invasive questions about my relationship, it made everything real for me.  & it made me realize I was staying with a guy who pretended to be a thug soooo bad, that it trickled over to our relationship.

I will never, ever get back into a relationship where a man puts his hands on me.  I'm not attracted to those roughnecks anymore.  He was my first 'thug' type & my last. & I will never allow another man's mother give me advice, because they will forever be bias.  My advice, if any, will come from my mother, because I know she has my best intentions at heart.  It just made me wiser. & a lot more insightful.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote rebelle . Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2013 at 10:14pm
Whew.  That was long. Sleepy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2013 at 6:33pm
Well, it was worthy of being long. Tongue So glad you are safe and had the sense to get away. You should be proud of that ... as soooo many women .. stay like ... forever. Or at least until they have pretty much ruined their lives. Ouch
And they aren't 20 years old - they are just used to being in these bad relationships that it seems normal to them.
 
 
That mother was NUTS giving you that bad advice. NUTS! I think she KNOWS her son has a problem but instead of getting him help ... she tries to lie and cover it up. Rotten mother.
 
(I have never understood to appeal of these thug type guys though.Ouch Never. If the guy is not polished off in his appearance, manner and SPEECH ... I put him in the 'street' category and move on. Will not be seen with him in public.)


Edited by Printer_Ink - May 11 2013 at 6:41pm
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Brjasuga51 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brjasuga51 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2013 at 6:56pm
Originally posted by rebelle . rebelle . wrote:

I was in a physically abusive relationship for a little over a year, back when I was 20/21.  I am 22 now.  I met him the first weekend I got stationed at my new base, fresh from training.  I was young, stupid, missing my family, and EXTREMELY naive.  This was the first relationship I'd ever been in where a man put his hands on me and also, a man cheated on me and took extreme low blows when we would argue.  I was very, very, very close with his mother & this also played a role in why I stayed for so long.

There were only three times he put his hands on me, all three were when he was high & drunk.  The first time his mother was actually on the phone when we were arguing & when it happened.  The cops were called because I was screaming so loud, but once they came, he convinced them we were just verbally arguing.  The next morning his mother convinced me that it was an actual fight between us, rather than him putting his hands on me.  I ended up convincing myself the same, even though in hindsight, I never put my hands on him.  I only tried to get him off of me.  But my relationship with his mother, as well as me being naive & very immature, made me believe I should take partial blame & I ended up staying.

The second time, he actually injured me to the point where I had to have major surgery on my foot.  Since that incident, I've have had another surgery on my foot & I go to the doctor every month, all because he was drunk, irrational, and upset over something I said.

The third & final time, he pinned me down, shoved me into a glass mirror, & threw me out of his apartment, barefoot & bleeding.  I was devastated.  I ended up driving to my best friend's house with no shoes & she called the cops.  His mother tried to convince me once again that this was my fault, because he was upset since he just found out he was getting kicked out the Air Force, & I shouldn't have gone over to his house.  I ended up blocking her number that night & getting a restraining order against him.  I haven't spoken to him or his mother since.  He got kicked out & moved back home.

This relationship made me distant to all of my friends & at the time, destroyed my relationship with my mother.  My mom is my best friend & I kept the physical abuse away from her,  I just told her about the horrible arguments we would have & my mom couldn't understand why I put up with his disrespect & cheating, when I came from a household where my dad worshiped my mother.  My parents are literally the modern day Huxtables.  They never argued in front of us, never raised their voices at each other, never disrespected each other in front of us.  My dad adores my mother, & vice versa.  I was truly blessed to be in a household where my parents are soul mates.

I don't know why I stayed for so long... But looking back, I thank my friend for calling the cops, because I know if she wouldn't have, there would be a huge chance I would still be with him.  Just going to the police station, having my picture taken, answering invasive questions about my relationship, it made everything real for me.  & it made me realize I was staying with a guy who pretended to be a thug soooo bad, that it trickled over to our relationship.

I will never, ever get back into a relationship where a man puts his hands on me.  I'm not attracted to those roughnecks anymore.  He was my first 'thug' type & my last. & I will never allow another man's mother give me advice, because they will forever be bias.  My advice, if any, will come from my mother, because I know she has my best intentions at heart.  It just made me wiser. & a lot more insightful.
 
Girl I am Glad you realized what you needed to do for yourself.
No man has ever put their hands on me. One raised his hands and I told him if he wants to love to see tomorrow he would put his hands to his side (I had the kitchen knife in my hands)From that day I made a mental note in my head if I am dating someone and I have to defend myself physically ....leave them alone. Because no one is worth my FREEDOM
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Badgurlcece View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Badgurlcece Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 12:21pm
Nope, not in a relationship. But when I was in 8th grade I had 2 beat the hell out of dis boy who was being hella annoying. I did get slapped but he left with a black eye.
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