did anyone check out the brother's open letter response? (it was long). And I didn't bold anything lol
this is the brother of the woman who received the letter:
Dear Parent of Infinite Wisdom,
First of all, I only write
this in order to reassure my sister and brother-in-law that they are not
doing anything wrong. You are undoubtedly a nasty person regardless of
the situation you find yourself in and how others are treating you, so
on the off-chance you even see this I hold little hope it will affect
your outlook on life. Is it fair for me to judge you by one nastygram?
At least as fair as your judgment of someone based on what you can hear
through a wall, I suppose.
In your haste to pass judgment on
others and whitewash your own memory of what parenting is like, you have
forgotten to check yourself for the very inconsideration and
selfishness you abhor. You decided to lash out at others who were
unaware of your plight or discomfort, at least until you left a cowardly
letter after the fact, at which point any opportunity they might have
had to try to alleviate your unfortunate situation had passed. Perhaps,
if you had yelled back or pounded on the headboard, then the thinness of
the walls would have been more evident to the struggling parents. Then
again, such an act of directness would have identified you as the petty
selfish person you are. Personally, I think you knew that, which is why
instead, you decided to lay your opinion out anonymously and with no
consideration of what was happening within the room or who the people
are you were addressing. You knew all you needed to know: "Someone is
doing something I don't like! I should cry about it." Sound familiar?
The baby was cutting teeth, what is your excuse?
Here are a few of the things you didn't know.
brother-in-law helps more people before you get out of bed and have
your morning coffee than you have likely helped in your entire life. He
operates on brains and misses out on an awful lot of time with his wife
and child so that he can use his knowledge and skill to help adults and
children alike (even the selfish ones) with a second chance. He saves
lives. This week he is in Colorado for a conference where he can learn
to better treat you if you happen to fall from a snow-lift, get thrown
from your high horse, faceplant into a tree while skiing down the black
diamond trail or have the misfortune to trip over your own
self-righteousness and fall down the stairs head first. Personally, I
don't blame him for wanting to take his family with him to a convention
rather than missing out on another week full of memories so that he can
be the best surgeon. It's a great job, a rewarding job, but not one
My niece usually sleeps pretty well, and is
not known for screaming in the middle of the night. If she were
constantly having this issue both parents would be in a mental
institution and you wouldn't have been disturbed. Newsflash: a night in
the room with a screaming toddler is even harder than being next door
and not something parents willingly plan for on holiday. From the far
side of the wall, one cannot see the parents scrambling, attempting to
feed the baby, rock the baby, shush the baby, walk around, rack their
brains for a way to make the crying stop for their sake, for their
neighbor's sake and not least of all for the helpless child's sake.
for my sister, she is a kind and considerate parent, a dependable
friend and an amazing wife. She is a first-time mother with a law degree
who decided that spending time with and raising her daughter are the
top priorities in her life. As a stay-home mother, I'm sure she jumped
at the chance to get out of the house. What stay-home parent wouldn't?
Sure, it is true, she's still learning the ropes. Can you remember what
that was like? Do you remember thinking you knew your child's routines
only to learn at an inopportune time that you don't really know much of
anything? This usually occurs on the rare evening out with the whole
family, or on a crowded airplane or when rooming next to the Prince or
Princess of Passive Aggressiveness on the side of a mountain in
Colorado. On those occasions, when your child transformed into a
yelling, crying, sobbing ball of heartache you might recall your ears
burning and your face flushing red with embarrassment. You may remember
the hopeful feeling that there would not be a person like you around.
Someone willing to belittle you rather than offer support, someone
willing to call you a bad parent and a selfish person because you have
somehow conspired to ruin their day, their meal or their trip.
guess what, perfect parent?! Your kids ruined things for other people
too. As a matter of fact, you ruined more than one evening for others
when you were a little tyrant yourself. The same is true for every adult
walking the planet, unless their parents kept them tranquilized or
frozen in carbonite until graduation. Maybe you didn't know, but it
happened. That is the way of the world; this is not a hermetically
sealed, adults-only dystopia where nothing unexpected occurs to anyone.
If you want to guarantee a trip with those parameters (and since you
obviously planned for this years in advance), then plan a little better
and rent a freaking cabin or bring a set of earplugs.
If it's not
a child, it will be a dog; if it's not a dog, it will be a group of
drunken fraternity members, or a construction crew, or a leaky faucet.
Maybe loud lovers, the TV in the next room, or a neighbor who leaves
their radio clock on all night that will disturb your slumber. It's
always something, isn't it? I know the feeling. It sucks, but these
things happen. Sometimes they are due to inconsideration and more often
due to accident or happenstance. The question is not if but when
something will taint our dreams of the perfect vacation, dinner or
plane ride. I teach my children we can't control the actions of others,
but we can control our own reactions. We can choose every day whether to
let life's little inconveniences make us miserable, or to smile and
carry on. Better still, we can decide to try to make the world a better
place -- to lend a hand instead of pointing a finger.
You, on the
other hand, choose to spew hatred and judgment on others even when it
will bring no change to your own situation. You didn't say anything when
the young parents could have done something, choosing instead to leave a
parting note to let them know what terrible people they are. Be honest,
the note was not for the good of the world, it was for retribution. It
was your way of doling out karma. I hope you are proud of yourself.
am sorry for you. I'm sorry for your children. Pat yourself on the back
for never having your child wake another human (yeah, right) all you
want, but when it comes to measuring the value of another person or the
extremes of their selflessness (or selfishness) most of us would prefer
to take a larger view and maybe learn something about the situation and
its participants before we cast our stones.
I know little about
you; maybe you were just cranky and writing without thinking. Maybe you
are too stupid to relieve yourself with some Tylenol PM or earplugs or
by calling the front desk to ask about options before spending a second
night in wretched misery within the Seventh Circle of Hell. Maybe you
are a really great person who helps others with every spare minute not
spent on holiday at a ski resort or judging other people's parenting
based on cries in the night. Then again, maybe you are just an a**hole.
Dad On The Run
P.S. Lil' sis. Keep doing what you are doing. Your
child is a part of this world and just as much entitled to it as the
next person. Those who wish to have a child-free experience have plenty
of adults-only options for vacation accommodations. Love you.
Edited by PurplePhase - Mar 05 2014 at 8:02pm