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*Graphic Detail and lengthy* Rape or no?

 
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Princess09 View Drop Down
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    Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 12:54am
I have been kind of thinking about this a lot lately. I'm under 18, my boyfriend is 22 (I know mistake right there!). He is actually my first boyfriend ever in my life, my first actual "romantic" relationship with a guy ever; I usually have guy friends but we never get too close. I am celibate and he clearly knows that. We had many conversations about it. I guess I missed the signs...

Anyways, we were messing around one night. He pulled off my pants and underwear. I told him not to try and do it (I was a virgin and preferred to wait until marriage). Anyways, he was on top and I told him "stop!" He said he wouldn't do anything. Since he was on top i could hardly move and began to panic squirming under him. He held my arms up with one hand. I kept telling him "No!" and "Stop!" but he still slid himself inside me. Now, he probably got a centimeter in but it was so painful to the point that sex turns me off completely now. After a while (like 3-5min) he stopped. 

Here's where I made a mistake. (right?)

He leaned for a kiss and I kissed him right back like the pain didn't happen. He turned me over and tried to put it in again. It didn't work, it was excruciating pain and I began to cry telling him to stop. But it was my fault for not ending the situation the first time I was "free" right? 

Anyways, I felt dead while he was doing it. I felt like I wasn't even there. I still think of myself as virgin. I am sooo mad at how our society puts such an emphasis on a woman's virginity that I feel like a "whore" since I'm not a virgin anymore. :( 

After he seemed content like nothing happened. But he told me he couldn't cause "it felt soo good" and "I was just in the moment."

Overall, I feel it is not rape. I made a decision to get in bed with him, although I didn't think it would lead to that. Even though I cried for him to stop, he was not aware of the pain he caused me.

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Princess09 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Princess09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 12:58am
the reason why i don't feel it was rape is because i feel like we are both at fault...i tempted him. you wouldn't eat fried chicken in front of someone who needs to lose weight and loves fried chicken right?Ouch
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Alex Urameshi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (15) Thanks(15)   Quote Alex Urameshi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 12:59am
Honestly I feel like he did take advantage of you, and I hope that you are not still with him.
 
the fact that you clearly said no and to stop and he pinned you and entered you ANYWAY is wrong.
I'm sorry that your first time happened this way.
 
I myself was sexually assaulted and if you ever need anyone to talk/vent to, please feel free to pm me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote Alex Urameshi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 1:01am
Originally posted by Princess09 Princess09 wrote:

the reason why i don't feel it was rape is because i feel like we are both at fault...i tempted him. you wouldn't eat fried chicken in front of someone who needs to lose weight and loves fried chicken right?Ouch
none of that matters. You still declined several times, and he pinned you. it doesnt matter if you tempted him, no means no. point blank period.
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Princess09 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Princess09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 1:09am
Originally posted by Alex Urameshi Alex Urameshi wrote:

Originally posted by Princess09 Princess09 wrote:

the reason why i don't feel it was rape is because i feel like we are both at fault...i tempted him. you wouldn't eat fried chicken in front of someone who needs to lose weight and loves fried chicken right?Ouch
none of that matters. You still declined several times, and he pinned you. it doesnt matter if you tempted him, no means no. point blank period.

yeah i guess i'm being really delusional because I feel he's innocent and did what was natural.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 1:21am
that was rape honey. you need to tell someone.

that is the only calm thing i can tell you. seriously cause im pissed off....ok im leavin.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Princess09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 1:38am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

that was rape honey. you need to tell someone.

that is the only calm thing i can tell you. seriously cause im pissed off....ok im leavin.


i'm confused as to why you're upset. thanks for responding though

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 1:39am
It's rape. He pinned you down to the bed and forced himself inside of you despite the fact that you told him no over and over again. It's rape. You know it. I know it.

I don't see how you can be with someone who will violate you like that. Ouch So every time he wants to have sex and you say no, this is going to happen?

Please dump him.
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Alex Urameshi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Alex Urameshi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 1:43am
Originally posted by Princess09 Princess09 wrote:

Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

that was rape honey. you need to tell someone.

that is the only calm thing i can tell you. seriously cause im pissed off....ok im leavin.


i'm confused as to why you're upset. thanks for responding though

 
she's probably upset because he clearly took advantage of you, and honestly it's sad that your first time had to be like that. A guy has the ability to stop, and you are young and vulnerable. He KNEW what he was doing... 
 
THAT IS NOT THE NORM AND IT IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM NATURAL


Edited by Alex Urameshi - Oct 24 2012 at 1:44am
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 5:20am
YOU WERE RAPED.
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