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General Distrust for Men?

 
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:54am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Ehh should've known better than to come to BHM with this. Thanks guys. Thanks a lot.
please don't kick yourself. while posting does open it up to people with less than stellar intent, you did get genuine feedback and encouragement. 

don't discount that. separate the wheat and chaff. Smile
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_ConcreteRose_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:56am
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Ehh should've known better than to come to BHM with this. Thanks guys. Thanks a lot.
please don't kick yourself. while posting does open it up to people with less than stellar intent, you did get genuine feedback and encouragement. 

don't discount that. separate the wheat and chaff. Smile
I agree with this. Ignore people with bad intent, most are just trying to help. Everybody got problems. Aint a damn thing wrong with therapy. 
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fckwitmeuknoigotit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fckwitmeuknoigotit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:57am
i agree with CR and SL's takes.
 
also there is nothing wrong with speaking with a professional. therapy is nothing to be ashamed of.
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 11:00am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I don't need therapy. When what happened two months ago happened I remember my friends telling me not to hate men because of it, and I remember thinking why on earth I'd do that.

I just do now. Not hate per se, because I can live and converse with them. I just can't see myself ever being with one. I don't think that warrants therapy. 


Femme, from what you're posting, you and I might be similar.

It's taken me years to unpack some things but while I have a general distrust of men regarding my physical safety, that's separate from my active choice to not enter into romantic relationships with them and to remain childfree. Those are difficult choices in our society.

There's nothing wrong with you. I don't believe you need therapy for this. And I don't believe that everyone wants to have romantic relationships. Not wanting that does not mean you're broken or anything negative.

I've learned that explaining this to other people is easy once you are clear about what you want and are content with your choices. And I've had to do a lot of explaining in the last 2 years because I am now the only unpartnered woman in my whole (big) immediate family.

Anyway, feel free to pm me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 11:02am
yall take everything as shade… 

no i didnt really need to say that first part but i wasnt joking about cosigning therapy. 

getting your feelings out to a therapist can help. 
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Random Thoughts View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 11:11am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I don't need therapy. When what happened two months ago happened I remember my friends telling me not to hate men because of it, and I remember thinking why on earth I'd do that.

I just do now. Not hate per se, because I can live and converse with them. I just can't see myself ever being with one. I don't think that warrants therapy. 



There's nothing wrong with you. I don't believe you need therapy for this. And I don't believe that everyone wants to have romantic relationships. Not wanting that does not mean you're broken or anything negative.




On the same token, going to a therapist does not mean someone is broken. Just like going to the doctor doesn't mean someone is sick.
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 11:14am
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I don't need therapy. When what happened two months ago happened I remember my friends telling me not to hate men because of it, and I remember thinking why on earth I'd do that.

I just do now. Not hate per se, because I can live and converse with them. I just can't see myself ever being with one. I don't think that warrants therapy. 



There's nothing wrong with you. I don't believe you need therapy for this. And I don't believe that everyone wants to have romantic relationships. Not wanting that does not mean you're broken or anything negative.




On the same token, going to a therapist does not mean someone is broken. Just like going to the doctor doesn't mean someone is sick.


I was referring to the fact that not wanting a romantic relationship with a man doesn't make her broken. What you said is true as well.
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 11:15am
i wanna know what happened. 
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 11:17am
Femme, one thing that helped me is understanding that your romantic orientation and your sexual orientation are two different things. And that you don't have to act on either.

There's a good infographic for this...I'll see if I can find it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 11:18am
Do you like sex? I am wondering how you feel about it because you have an aversion for men yet you are not attracted to women.

Your issues might be deeper than what you think. Perhaps something happened when you were small and you pushed the memories away, but that remained in your subconscious mind and that's why you already had a problem with men before the issue 2 months ago?

You really need to seek therapy. Regardless of your interest in having a romantic relationship with men, it is not healthy for you to feel this aversion towards them.

You said something about men not being monogamous...not all men have this issueSmile
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