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General Distrust for Men?

 
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:15am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

why do you have to explain this to anyone?

Immigrant communities are nosy as hell. I know the day will come and I'll probably feel slightly ashamed/embarrassed. 

But I don't trust them. 

I know the pressure's coming because some of my friends are getting engaged and my mother keeps talking about grandkids and I'm sitting here like... Confused...
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:16am
And I'll also be honest in saying I don't feel like competing. I don't even think I can. Someone I'm close to recently underwent surgery to make her ass bigger and I'm there thinking--all for the attention of a man? 

I don't want to put myself through more trauma. It does make me a little sad, but I can't help but think they're all untrustworthy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:21am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

And I'll also be honest in saying I don't feel like competing. I don't even think I can. Someone I'm close to recently underwent surgery to make her ass bigger and I'm there thinking--all for the attention of a man? 

I don't want to put myself through more trauma. It does make me a little sad, but I can't help but think they're all untrustworthy.


You are putting yourself through trauma merely by withdrawing from the idea of sustaining a positive relationship with a man. You think you're averting pain but you're not. When you do that, the person(s) that hurt you WINS. Because they go on with their lives and don't bother to look back at the pain they have caused. Sometimes it's even a point of pride for them. Attack the root of the problem head on and early. That doesn't mean you won't have other disappointments but you will be more equipped to handle them emotionally by having focused on fortifying yourself.

And I know what you mean by immigrant communities. It's a pain in the ass. Not that it's limited to them. You can find examples of this mindset of "you are lacking without a man" right here on BHM.


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Jun 20 2014 at 10:26am
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:38am
the white guy who loved your natural hair unlike any black men really hurt you? 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:43am
i cosign therapy. 
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (19) Thanks(19)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:48am
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

the white guy who loved your natural hair unlike any black men really hurt you? 

No, but the shade was cute.


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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:48am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

the white guy who loved your natural hair unlike any black men really hurt you? 
No, but the shade was cute.
 [ak]guuurrl[/ak] LOL

*pardons self*
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:49am
I don't need therapy. When what happened two months ago happened I remember my friends telling me not to hate men because of it, and I remember thinking why on earth I'd do that.

I just do now. Not hate per se, because I can live and converse with them. I just can't see myself ever being with one. I don't think that warrants therapy. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:50am
Femme, since you aint ask for psycho analysis, I'll just answer the question. But first, how old are you?
I would simply say "Im not looking for a signifcant other at the moment." No more no less. Don't give people an explanation because they will either A) Judge or B) try to convince you othewise. Im sure you don't want either.
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:53am
Ehh should've known better than to come to BHM with this. Thanks guys. Thanks a lot.
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