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General Distrust for Men?

 
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afrokock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 9:59am
Therapy will go a long way

good luck femme
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:15am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

why do you have to explain this to anyone?

Immigrant communities are nosy as hell. I know the day will come and I'll probably feel slightly ashamed/embarrassed. 

But I don't trust them. 

I know the pressure's coming because some of my friends are getting engaged and my mother keeps talking about grandkids and I'm sitting here like... Confused...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:16am
And I'll also be honest in saying I don't feel like competing. I don't even think I can. Someone I'm close to recently underwent surgery to make her ass bigger and I'm there thinking--all for the attention of a man? 

I don't want to put myself through more trauma. It does make me a little sad, but I can't help but think they're all untrustworthy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:21am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

And I'll also be honest in saying I don't feel like competing. I don't even think I can. Someone I'm close to recently underwent surgery to make her ass bigger and I'm there thinking--all for the attention of a man? 

I don't want to put myself through more trauma. It does make me a little sad, but I can't help but think they're all untrustworthy.


You are putting yourself through trauma merely by withdrawing from the idea of sustaining a positive relationship with a man. You think you're averting pain but you're not. When you do that, the person(s) that hurt you WINS. Because they go on with their lives and don't bother to look back at the pain they have caused. Sometimes it's even a point of pride for them. Attack the root of the problem head on and early. That doesn't mean you won't have other disappointments but you will be more equipped to handle them emotionally by having focused on fortifying yourself.

And I know what you mean by immigrant communities. It's a pain in the ass. Not that it's limited to them. You can find examples of this mindset of "you are lacking without a man" right here on BHM.


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Jun 20 2014 at 10:26am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:29am

you don't have to compete

you are fine just the way you are
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:38am
the white guy who loved your natural hair unlike any black men really hurt you? 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:43am
i cosign therapy. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (19) Thanks(19)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:48am
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

the white guy who loved your natural hair unlike any black men really hurt you? 

No, but the shade was cute.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:48am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

the white guy who loved your natural hair unlike any black men really hurt you? 
No, but the shade was cute.
 [ak]guuurrl[/ak] LOL

*pardons self*
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 20 2014 at 10:49am
I don't need therapy. When what happened two months ago happened I remember my friends telling me not to hate men because of it, and I remember thinking why on earth I'd do that.

I just do now. Not hate per se, because I can live and converse with them. I just can't see myself ever being with one. I don't think that warrants therapy. 
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