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Gkisses View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:12pm
I had to distant myself from my suicidal friend after they attempted to do it in front of me. I found my state of mind deteriorating. This person was also a cutter. The acts would stick me all day couldn't sleep. Yet he could act like nothing ever happened. Nothing u say is the "right thing" you can never "understand". When my friend rejected every suggestion of professional help i had to walk away. I could no longer be that emotional dumping ground and remain stable minded myself. I love them beyond words but again u can onlt do so much.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:17pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I had to distant myself from my suicidal friend after they attempted to do it in front of me. I found my state of mind deteriorating. This person was also a cutter. The acts would stick me all day couldn't sleep. Yet he could act like nothing ever happened. Nothing u say is the "right thing" you can never "understand". When my friend rejected every suggestion of professional help i had to walk away. I could no longer be that emotional dumping ground and remain stable minded myself. I love them beyond words but again u can onlt do so much.


Understandable.  Sounds like he was a destructive force in your life anyway and it wasn't healthy for you to be involved anymore.  The thing is your immediate reaction though was one of love, wanting to help without thinking first about walking away. You probably didn't even consider whether or not you would support him when it first happened.  That's a best friend.  
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:21pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I had to distant myself from my suicidal friend after they attempted to do it in front of me. I found my state of mind deteriorating. This person was also a cutter. The acts would stick me all day couldn't sleep. Yet he could act like nothing ever happened. Nothing u say is the "right thing" you can never "understand". When my friend rejected every suggestion of professional help i had to walk away. I could no longer be that emotional dumping ground and remain stable minded myself. I love them beyond words but again u can onlt do so much.


Understandable.  Sounds like he was a destructive force in your life anyway and it wasn't healthy for you to be involved anymore.  The thing is your immediate reaction though was one of love, wanting to help without thinking first about walking away. You probably didn't even consider whether or not you would support him when it first happened.  That's a best friend.  

The situation I'm referring to - Person 1 saw Person 2 attempt to commit suicide in front of him - Person 1 called Person 3 (the best friend) Person 3 told Person 1 they didn't have the energy to deal with that "drama" and distanced themselves from Person 2
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:22pm
You should be there to love and support them as best you can. Sometimes all it takes it the right conversation/the right situation to change your entire outlook on life.

But you have to keep your positive frame of mind as well/continue to live your life. Ultimately, she has to make the decision to value her life enough, you can't do it for her.

An ex-bestfriend of mine "tried" to commit suicide a couple of times. It shook me to my core, worrying about her made me physically ill.  But she kept putting herself in the situations that made her feel worthless. I talked to my family about it and ultimately determined that while I could be available and supportive, I couldn't save her life for her. And I couldn't drop everything in my life to babysit her either, she had to find her own strength.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:25pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I had to distant myself from my suicidal friend after they attempted to do it in front of me. I found my state of mind deteriorating. This person was also a cutter. The acts would stick me all day couldn't sleep. Yet he could act like nothing ever happened. Nothing u say is the "right thing" you can never "understand". When my friend rejected every suggestion of professional help i had to walk away. I could no longer be that emotional dumping ground and remain stable minded myself. I love them beyond words but again u can onlt do so much.


All of this. There is only so much you can do.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:27pm
Having lost a friend before this way i almost felt like it was a second chance.I wasn't given that chance before and had always lived with "what if". I had to do the therapy thing for a while afterwards in order to move on not knowing what to expect. This friend is still alive and cutting.This was a little over a year ago. I think the avg. person think love and reassurance is all that's needed but it takes sooo much more.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:32pm
Originally posted by beautiful-stranger beautiful-stranger wrote:



The situation I'm referring to - Person 1 saw Person 2 attempt to commit suicide in front of him - Person 1 called Person 3 (the best friend) Person 3 told Person 1 they didn't have the energy to deal with that "drama" and distanced themselves from Person 2


Giving the best friend the benefit of a doubt ill say i understand. They've probably dealt with it for some time. It is exhausting living day to day trying to save someone who has no desire to save themselves.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:32pm
Yeah, that's exactly why I don't blame those who choose to distance themselves. Some people do it as a way to cope or preserve their own mental health as much as possible
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:39pm
Knowing me, I'd offer the solutions that helped me out of depression, knowing that people live in their minds and their perception is usually so tightly in place that it would take a lot to change.

I don't think of depression as anything more than a state of mind. Everything is a state of mind. Happiness too.
If you could change your mind, you literally change your life. I help my friends to change their minds, knowing fully well that they alone hold the switch. I try to influence, then.

I don't ever agree with negative states of mind anymore because I know too much about it now. Before I understood, now I know, and therefore fully understand. There is a difference between the two, and so likewise, my depressed friend, so depressed to the point of suicide must come to the point of knowing, and then they will understand fully.

This is where I have to have faith and hope (and I express to them that I do) that they will rise above.
Rock bottom becomes a wonderful place if you are interested in not staying there. That too, is just a state of mind.

Of course, professional help is needed, as I alone cannot take on the burden of picking someone up. I mean, I could..but it would not guarantee a favourable outcome if the person's state of mind is resisting. You have to go through something to rise above. When you resist, the thing you resist gains more energy and power. The only way to rise above something is to stop resisting it. Carl Jung said it too, and a psychiatrist could definitely piggy back on that.



Edited by Derri - Apr 08 2014 at 12:41pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 12:44pm
Me personally, I would try to be there for them wholeheartedly. I can't imagine how I would feel if someone I considered a best friend would turn their back on me in a situation like that. 
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