Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - family issue. Advice needed. kinda long
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Perfect Hair Collection
 

family issue. Advice needed. kinda long

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 9>




The Best Human Hair Available with No Service Match

Author
sbrownie84 View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 02 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 6621
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sbrownie84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: family issue. Advice needed. kinda long
    Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 1:55pm
My cousin is upset with me. :(
 

BACKSTORY

My father's side of the family mostly live in the Caribbean and there are always bittersweet moments with them. My cousins and I have always had a love hate type of relationship. They think I am a spoiled American kid where everything is on a sliver platter for me and I think that they are non- progressive lazy be rs and think that the world owes them something. They are always obsessed with how much money I spend while on vaca but they turn their heads when it is time for me to spend money on them or when I am away and they are always asking me for things. they would not even crack a $5 to offer me a drink. They are always popping out kids but crying broke. Recently I had to put my foot down because since I left the caribbean six months ago, my cousin has asked me to add money to her cell phone bill six times......once a month. You do the math. As a child , I have always had to leave all of my clothes behind for them.  Not to mention, the backbiting I have to deal with. they would always question my life and then add on to what they 'think' is going on in my life and make rumors about me, and also make fun of me.  One of my cousins saw some ezema on my back and asked if 'men dont scorn me' because of it.  Needless to say I have tailored my interaction with them and have remained civil yet distant just to avoid the drama.

NOw the issue

On my trip to the Caribbean 14 years ago I met a young man named David who was friend of my other cousin. David and i hit it off instantly as friends....strictly platonic only kissing. We kept in touch for a little while after i left the caribbean only for me to return 2 years later and we still kept a friendship. David would drive me around, and take me places and never ask me for a dime. I did not return to the caribbean for 10 years up until 6 months ago.  

Upon my arrival, the first topic was about David. My aunt kept telling me to stay away from David because he is in a relationship with this woman in the states and blah blah blah. I was a bit taken aback because my mind was not even on David because so many years went by. My cousin (whom has a child for his friend) even went in to say she does not want to see me around him, because he has such a bad reputation now for being a womanizer and so on. Over the years, David has been very successful in that area....he's owns a couple of businesses as well as his own private bus...so the womanizing rumors must be true. Because my family placed such a big deal about not being around him, I figured he was dangerous and I should stay away, so I never contacted him in the beginning of that trip. One day the topic came up about David while my cousin and I were in the supermarket and I told my cousin that before I leave I will say hello to him and she became very upset. I then in turn became upset because I did not see the big deal in just saying hello to him. About 15 minutes later David walks into the supermarket and we meet. It was like no time had passed between us because we were both happy to see each other.  
Of course David and I spend time together (no sex) and the topic comes up about the girl in the states and he informs me that they broke up (side eye)... Any actiity that David and I do, my cousin would always counteract it by saying, "his woman loves to do that with him too".  It seems as if my cousin loves to bring up the girl... all the time... The straw that broke the camels back was my last night in the Caribbean, my cousin comes out of nowhere and says, "David really loves that girl".....It was strange because we were not on the topic about DAvid and it was my last night there. I asked her, "why is she saying all of this" and she becomes silent'......

 Fast forward to 6 months later, I am back in the Caribbean on business and this same cousin is doing the same thing.........bringing up this girl and countless others all the time. We went out friday and she pointed out a girl who David was with. On this trip I have even maintained further distance from David because of this same problem and of all the rumors surrounding him. He told me that he feels that I am always looking at him in a negative way, but I am only going by what I am hearing b/c I do not want any drama with anyone else. 

I do like David but we do not have any relationship going on, but I am still annoyed with my cousin always talking crap. I do not get her point. Yesterday, when she kept goin on talking about the girl, I said to her,' You do not know how your own baby's father feels about you after all of these years, but yet you seem to know all of David's business and he love affairs.

She walks out upset.  Sometimes I want to just free myself and block out all the noise from everyone's comments and try him for myself...other times I want to trust my family. I just don't knwo what to do. do you think I was the wrong one in the situation with my cousin.


Edited by sbrownie84 - Oct 10 2012 at 2:15pm
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
EPITOME View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Feb 08 2007
Location: Escarpin
Status: Offline
Points: 446600
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:00pm
why is she so pressed?
Back to Top
PRnena View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 03 2009
Location: BHM
Status: Offline
Points: 46401
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PRnena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:02pm
Wait. Is this 2 issues or one. Or .....?

Was I the only one that felt a subject switch while reading ?

Let me re read op
Back to Top
beautiful-stranger View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 06 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 17727
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote beautiful-stranger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:03pm
umm.. next time you go to the Caribbean go somewhere all inclusive so you don't have to see anyone. that's what I do. Problem Solved
Back to Top
beautiful-stranger View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 06 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 17727
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote beautiful-stranger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:04pm
Oh yeah your cousin sounds like a real piece of work. Any synonyms for hater? I don't want to use the word. 
Back to Top
bubblyboo View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 01 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 14460
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote bubblyboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:05pm
I also have a very long family drama going on. Your story is as long as mine. I think I will post it too lol

anyways you are a grown woman. From the type of relationship that you describe with your family, it seems as if they don't want you to have anything more than the less that they already have (hope that makes sense) This may also be the case with this guy David. It could be either they really care about your well being or that based upon your love hate with them, they truly don't want to see you happy. You are a grown woman. You have to see things for yourself. If you do try things with David and he is the manipulative womanizer that everyone paints him to be then you owe your fam nothing but an apology. If not then live your life and have fun with David. If the world went around just believing everything that everyone said instead of experiencing things for themselves we would be isolated and narrow minded. Don't be that way. You are grown do you and see how it goes.
Back to Top
SamoneLenior View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 06 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 280841
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:06pm

stop talking to her

it doesn't matter that she is related to you, let her go
Back to Top
PRnena View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 03 2009
Location: BHM
Status: Offline
Points: 46401
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote PRnena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:07pm
Is she fuvking him ?
Why does she sound bitter ?
Back to Top
soarlikecruz View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 17 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 21043
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote soarlikecruz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:11pm
Originally posted by PRnena PRnena wrote:

Is she fuvking him ?
Why does she sound bitter ?



this is what i was thinking

Maybe she tried him and he didn't want it
Back to Top
Harmonii View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 06 2006
Location: T
Status: Offline
Points: 20174
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Harmonii Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2012 at 2:17pm
Originally posted by soarlikecruz soarlikecruz wrote:


Originally posted by PRnena PRnena wrote:

Is she fuvking him ?
Why does she sound bitter ?



this is what i was thinking

Maybe she tried him and he didn't want it


Sure does sound like it
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
House of CB London
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
The Elite Hair Care Sorority
Electric Cherry Hair
Hair Extensions Wefted Hair Wigs and More
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Dependable Quality Hair
Switch Up your Look with a protective Style
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 9>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down