My cousin is upset with me. :(
My father's side of the family mostly live in the Caribbean and there are always bittersweet moments with them. My cousins and I have always had a love hate type of relationship. They think I am a spoiled American kid where everything is on a sliver platter for me and I think that they are non- progressive lazy be rs and think that the world owes them something. They are always obsessed with how much money I spend while on vaca but they turn their heads when it is time for me to spend money on them or when I am away and they are always asking me for things. they would not even crack a $5 to offer me a drink. They are always popping out kids but crying broke. Recently I had to put my foot down because since I left the caribbean six months ago, my cousin has asked me to add money to her cell phone bill six times......once a month. You do the math. As a child , I have always had to leave all of my clothes behind for them. Not to mention, the backbiting I have to deal with. they would always question my life and then add on to what they 'think' is going on in my life and make rumors about me, and also make fun of me. One of my cousins saw some ezema on my back and asked if 'men dont scorn me' because of it. Needless to say I have tailored my interaction with them and have remained civil yet distant just to avoid the drama.
NOw the issue
On my trip to the Caribbean 14 years ago I met a young man named David who was friend of my other cousin. David and i hit it off instantly as friends....strictly platonic only kissing. We kept in touch for a little while after i left the caribbean only for me to return 2 years later and we still kept a friendship. David would drive me around, and take me places and never ask me for a dime. I did not return to the caribbean for 10 years up until 6 months ago.
Upon my arrival, the first topic was about David. My aunt kept telling me to stay away from David because he is in a relationship with this woman in the states and blah blah blah. I was a bit taken aback because my mind was not even on David because so many years went by. My cousin (whom has a child for his friend) even went in to say she does not want to see me around him, because he has such a bad reputation now for being a womanizer and so on. Over the years, David has been very successful in that area....he's owns a couple of businesses as well as his own private bus...so the womanizing rumors must be true. Because my family placed such a big deal about not being around him, I figured he was dangerous and I should stay away, so I never contacted him in the beginning of that trip. One day the topic came up about David while my cousin and I were in the supermarket and I told my cousin that before I leave I will say hello to him and she became very upset. I then in turn became upset because I did not see the big deal in just saying hello to him. About 15 minutes later David walks into the supermarket and we meet. It was like no time had passed between us because we were both happy to see each other.
Of course David and I spend time together (no sex) and the topic comes up about the girl in the states and he informs me that they broke up (side eye)... Any actiity that David and I do, my cousin would always counteract it by saying, "his woman loves to do that with him too". It seems as if my cousin loves to bring up the girl... all the time... The straw that broke the camels back was my last night in the Caribbean, my cousin comes out of nowhere and says, "David really loves that girl".....It was strange because we were not on the topic about DAvid and it was my last night there. I asked her, "why is she saying all of this" and she becomes silent'......
Fast forward to 6 months later, I am back in the Caribbean on business and this same cousin is doing the same thing.........bringing up this girl and countless others all the time. We went out friday and she pointed out a girl who David was with. On this trip I have even maintained further distance from David because of this same problem and of all the rumors surrounding him. He told me that he feels that I am always looking at him in a negative way, but I am only going by what I am hearing b/c I do not want any drama with anyone else.
I do like David but we do not have any relationship going on, but I am still annoyed with my cousin always talking crap. I do not get her point. Yesterday, when she kept goin on talking about the girl, I said to her,' You do not know how your own baby's father feels about you after all of these years, but yet you seem to know all of David's business and he love affairs.
She walks out upset. Sometimes I want to just free myself and block out all the noise from everyone's comments and try him for myself...other times I want to trust my family. I just don't knwo what to do. do you think I was the wrong one in the situation with my cousin.
Edited by sbrownie84 - Oct 10 2012 at 2:15pm