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MrsLT1109 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Enough Already
    Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 12:52pm
I NEED to get this off my chest. I am seeing more than a few posts here and on other boards bashing hair stylist for damaging or doing damaging things to their hair.  I know that there are a lot of stylist out there that take short cuts and do things that are not healthy for our hair.
 
However, who is to blame if you sit in the chair and LET them do it. I have thick hair and if anyone combs me out with a rat tail it hurts. I can't imagine just sitting there and baring it. What's wrong with saying "Can you please use a bigger comb?" Or "I really don't like excess heat on my hair so can you use a heat protectant" Or "Hey this perm is burning, I need it rinsed out"
 
If a stylist can't comply with what you ask, then leave! Ask to speak to an owner. Take action. If a manicurist was cutting your cuticles to bleeding you would speak up.  I can't feel a whole lot of sympathy for someone who just sits there and lets someone do things to their hair that is damaging and painful.
 
P.S. All stylist are not bad. If a stylist has customers with jacked up hair, then it's your fault if you sit in her chair and let her make you one of them.
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bluemac View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 1:05pm
I think in many cases we just don't know any better.  I can honestly say before my stylist went on maternity leave I never once did my hair.  I didn't even own a bottle of shampoo.  I was raised believing all the lies and myths about black hair.  And it wasn't until I was forced to start doing it myself that I learned all the bad things the stylist was doing.  I am now making the decision to stop putting up with it but its really hard when you've established a relationship over a period of time.
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BrownBeauty View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 1:19pm
I faithfully go to my stylist every two weeks now.  I had stopped going to her, because I noticed that my hair started to break and become thin on the end even after I had received a trim.  My conclusion was that she was using the wrong relaxer and the wrong strength.  Stylists have to realize that not everyone can use the same products.  Not everyone has the same hair type.  So  I had a talk with her and told her that I will not longer let her use Affirm relaxer on my hair.  I now take Silk Elements Sensitive Scalp No-Lye relaxer for her to do my touchups with.  I told her that I don't mind her using the KeraCare shampoos and conditioners on my hair, because I really like them.  I've also told her that if she only has TCB hair grease, not to even bother putting it on my scalp because it makes it itch something fierce.
 
I think it all boils down to speaking to your stylist and letting him/her know what you want done and what you don't want done (ie. no combing with a fine tooth comb, to use or not to use heat, to trim or not trim, and so forth).  Some stylist are about making your hair healthy, if they want to keep you as a client.  Some are just in it for the money and could care less about the condition of you hair.  I am just glad that I have spoken up and have a clear understanding with my stylist.
 
When I started to go back to her, first I let her cut my hair in layers, then I let her trim my hair, then I let her put in my relaxer of choice. and then I was comfortable enough to go back to her on a regular basis.  I think it helps to slowly build your relationship with them. Also, she has given me the Thumbs Up on the products that I use in between visits.
 
That's my two cents. LOL
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B_phlyy View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 2:06pm
Originally posted by MrsLT1109 MrsLT1109 wrote:

I NEED to get this off my chest. I am seeing more than a few posts here and on other boards bashing hair stylist for damaging or doing damaging things to their hair.  I know that there are a lot of stylist out there that take short cuts and do things that are not healthy for our hair.
 
However, who is to blame if you sit in the chair and LET them do it. I have thick hair and if anyone combs me out with a rat tail it hurts. I can't imagine just sitting there and baring it. What's wrong with saying "Can you please use a bigger comb?" Or "I really don't like excess heat on my hair so can you use a heat protectant" Or "Hey this perm is burning, I need it rinsed out"
 
If a stylist can't comply with what you ask, then leave! Ask to speak to an owner. Take action. If a manicurist was cutting your cuticles to bleeding you would speak up.  I can't feel a whole lot of sympathy for someone who just sits there and lets someone do things to their hair that is damaging and painful.
 
P.S. All stylist are not bad. If a stylist has customers with jacked up hair, then it's your fault if you sit in her chair and let her make you one of them.
 
I wholehaeartedly agree with your post, especially the part I put in bold. Hairstylists only see you once a week, every two weeks or whenever you go. If you don't tell them your uncomfortable with a product or procedure, ask her t use something else. If she refuses, take your money and business elsewhere.
 
I have been going to my hairstylist for 6 years and I will continue to go to her because she as never done anything I did not want. The reason my hair was messed up was because I was not taking rsponsibility for it. The fact that I still have hair on my head is a testimony of her skills. Our relationship is so good that I can call her on her cell and she can give me information before I do something to jack up our progress.
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Heavenseventeen View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 2:45pm
Amen! I agree totally. People say: She cut off five inches. And I'm thinking: Were you sleeping in the chair at the time? Does she cut that fast you didn't have time to say stop man!
 
But it is also like bluemac said. My friend years ago said: You know the relaxer is working when it starts burning. I looked at her head, and suddenly it all made sense. Her hair apparently was shoulder length, but now she can barely put it up in a pony tail
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MrsLT1109 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 3:04pm
BrownBeauty,
Kudos for doing things the right way. That's how my stylist was. She specialized in short hair cuts. I told her that I didn't like sprays with alcohol and she was like, no problem. She never used it on me.  I wish I could have brought her with me when I moved from San Diego.
 
 
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CosmoHead View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 3:06pm
The "key" is good communicationHug
 
If you don't have the type of stylist that tells "you" what's going on with your hair, Ask, ask, ask....questions. Most of the time people that go to the salons, like to talk about everything in the world besides there own hair.
 
If your scalp feel a little itchy when relaxer has been applied... That means that the relaxer has gotten on to the scalp and has started to penatrate into the shaft.... This doesn't mean, "oh, it's itching a little but you can leave it on longer to finish straightening".....
 
Use common sense..and pray that your stylist has some tooThumbs Up
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talkalotgirl View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 3:07pm

MrsLT & Brown Sugar and Heaven...I have to respond now, I can't wait to read the rest..

 

THANK YOU...I was thinking the same thing.  People are going to do what you make them do or what you LET them do.  My hairdresser knows I watch the clock like a hawk when the relaxer is in.  I ask questions, "what is that?  why do you do it that way?  Should I get that product?"  She is not the Gospel, but, I respect her professional opinion and I may take it or leave it.  But, I don't sleep in the chair, if I do, she will.  How can you blame someone for taking your money and botching you up if you didn't say anything?  Or you didn’t make it clear.  I will ask her in a minute, “did you hear me?”  And if I am not convinced, I say it again. 

 

In the past I would come home upset, "look what she did to me" my huzbn finally said, "do you think that my brother gets angry when people tell them how they want their hair cut?  The business is a service and that is what they are paid to do.  Stop spending money to be unhappy"   He's like, "maybe it's women, but a man would come to blows if some n** was told how to do it and he did the other"  But, he also tells me men take advice/constructive criticism/correction from each other and brush it off.  They know it's not personal, it's just what you want.  I digress...

 

It took me a while, BUT, once I started speaking up, things improved (this applies to all areas of life).  People can't read your mind and who is to say what they are doing 'to' you is not something that another client loves.  If you don't tell them how will they know?  I am not ashamed to repeat myself and tell someone what I want.  I have to live with it, not her.

 

We need to speak up for ourselves in all aspects of our lives and stop being victims.

 
 
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talkalotgirl View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 3:10pm
thanks B Phlyy...
 
" The reason my hair was messed up was because I was not taking responsibility for it. The fact that I still have hair on my head is a testimony of her skills. Our relationship is so good that I can call her on her cell and she can give me information before I do something to jack up our progress."
 
...you said it.  I have my hairdresses cell too...by the time I leave a voicemail, she is usually calling me back.
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tyrico View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 24 2006 at 3:31pm
Can you tell a child to take responsiblity. NO I started going to the salon when I was very young. I had pretty hairstyles but my hair was not that full. I stop going to my regular hairdresser when I was 18. Damage done. I took control over my head after hair. I must say my hair started growing more after I cut it off when I was 18. I wanted to start over. I blame my mother mostly.
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