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femmemichelle 
Elite Member
Joined: Jun 12 2007
Location: DC
Status: Offline
Points: 109919
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 Posted: May 13 2014 at 9:56am |
 melikey wrote:
Everything is offensive.
Asking a person when was the last time they've been tested and do they have STDs is offensive. Asking a man if he's ever had sex with another man is offensive |
I wish a nicca WOULD be offended! Maybe it's the pre-med in me speaking but I go down the list of diseases that aren't even protected by condom use in these situations so they better be prepared to say "Ahh" and have some swabs taken. The one time I had sex with someone whose status I didn't know freaked me out too much to be peer pressured into doing it again. Bump that.
Women need to be more adamant about testing.
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femmemichelle
Elite Member
Joined: Jun 12 2007
Location: DC
Status: Offline
Points: 109919
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 9:57am |
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There are people in here who've become so open minded they've lost their damn minds.
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Marcelo22
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 04 2014
Location: The 6
Status: Offline
Points: 20274
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 10:01am |
femmemichelle wrote:
There are people in here who've become so open minded they've lost their damn minds. |
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melikey
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 03 2006
Location: venus
Status: Offline
Points: 107658
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 10:06am |
femmemichelle wrote:
melikey wrote:
Everything is offensive.
Asking a person when was the last time they've been tested and do they have STDs is offensive. Asking a man if he's ever had sex with another man is offensive |
I wish a nicca WOULD be offended! Maybe it's the pre-med in me speaking but I go down the list of diseases that aren't even protected by condom use in these situations so they better be prepared to say "Ahh" and have some swabs taken. The one time I had sex with someone whose status I didn't know freaked me out too much to be peer pressured into doing it again. Bump that.
Women need to be more adamant about testing. |
I wish everyone was like you. There are plenty of women and men who to this day would say something super defensive like " oh, I look dirty to you?" Or," I aint no ho". It's sad really.
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melikey
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 03 2006
Location: venus
Status: Offline
Points: 107658
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 10:28am |
SamoneLenior wrote:
if they aren't itching, burning, oozing or scabbing many don't want to get tested and be told they have something
even the ones that have issues still don't want to be told they have something
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Yep. So they can confidently say they don't have anything and aren't obligated to tell their partners. Ignorance is bliss. when the truth is they haven't been tested to know one way or the other what's lurking inside them.
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MsBMW
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 05 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 23960
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 10:43am |
Jolie you better preach!!!!  Very well said.. 
JoliePoufiasse wrote:
How am I perpetuating oppressive environments only because I choose to not be involved with a transgendered man and want him to self-disclose to me before we go any further? What relationship can survive without honesty and be built on deception? If you as a transgender get with a heterosexual person and decide not to disclose your status, you are being deceptive and you are removing the free will of the other person to CHOOSE to be in a relationship with you or not. The same goes with a homosexual man who decides to use me knowing full well he is gay just because he's afraid to face his own fears of lack of acceptance in the world. Own your shyt proudly and don't hide behind others to get along. I'm sorry that homophobia and transphobia exist. I'm sorry that we are still in a society that won't let these people live their lives. That doesn't mean I'm willing to relinquish my right to self-determination. No one has the right to put that on me. And I'm not going to be shamed for wanting what I want in an intimate relationship. Self-disclose. We'll remain friends. Just don't force me in a situation I don't want to be into and then make me bear the brunt of a complicated social issue. I have the right to not be coerced into a situation that is potentially psychologically damaging to me. The same way the transgendered person has a right to preserve himself, I want to preserve myself too. How about my free will?
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Midna
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 02 2010
Location: Hell
Status: Offline
Points: 236078
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 3:13pm |
JoliePoufiasse wrote:
How am I perpetuating oppressive environments only because I choose to not be involved with a transgendered man and want him to self-disclose to me before we go any further? What relationship can survive without honesty and be built on deception? If you as a transgender get with a heterosexual person and decide not to disclose your status, you are being deceptive and you are removing the free will of the other person to CHOOSE to be in a relationship with you or not. The same goes with a homosexual man who decides to use me knowing full well he is gay just because he's afraid to face his own fears of lack of acceptance in the world. Own your shyt proudly and don't hide behind others to get along. I'm sorry that homophobia and transphobia exist. I'm sorry that we are still in a society that won't let these people live their lives. That doesn't mean I'm willing to relinquish my right to self-determination. No one has the right to put that on me. And I'm not going to be shamed for wanting what I want in an intimate relationship. Self-disclose. We'll remain friends. Just don't force me in a situation I don't want to be into and then make me bear the brunt of a complicated social issue. I have the right to not be coerced into a situation that is potentially psychologically damaging to me. The same way the transgendered person has a right to preserve himself, I want to preserve myself too. How about my free will?
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I dunno, I never called that oppressive. In fact, I've had to reiterate multiple times not wanting to date a transperson isn't a crime.
It seems everyone's focus is not being 'tricked.' Mine is not-giving transpeople an environment where they can get beat the fuck up simply for being trans. As I've shown in my past posts, this antagonism is pretty common for transpeople, even when minding their own business.
A transperson disclosing their past is purely at their discretion. Personally, if you're going into a relationship, I do think that's big and should be disclosed with someone you love and care for because it can present biological differences and alternatives to sex life and reproductive intent.
But once again, this is solely at the discretion of said person and is dependent on their character. If a man refused to inform me he's fathered five kids, would it be sensible for me to demonize all men as deceptive baby-hiding fertilizers?
I'm not willing to make an entire populous of people pay because some transpeople CHOSE not to disclose their past. With a growing tolerant environment, trans people are coming out more and more. If you want transpeople to come out, at least make a SAFE environment for them to do so.
You don't demonize transpeople and demand them to expose their selves to vulnerability fully expecting them to comply. Self-preservation is a basic human instinct as you've generally stated.
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Midna
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 02 2010
Location: Hell
Status: Offline
Points: 236078
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 3:15pm |
SamoneLenior wrote:
why are we discussing people lying about being born a man?
the woman in the OP didn't lie to Eddie
we just went off on a tangent?
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We really did. That seems to be their focus. I don't think it comes from a place of hate but paranoia.
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Midna
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 02 2010
Location: Hell
Status: Offline
Points: 236078
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 3:16pm |
femmemichelle wrote:
There are people in here who've become so open minded they've lost their damn minds. |
What? Encouraging a safe world for all human beings? Insanity! 
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bindy
Elite Member
Joined: Feb 26 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 117256
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Posted: May 13 2014 at 4:53pm |
femmemichelle wrote:
There are people in here who've become so open minded they've lost their damn minds. |
There are people in here who've become so open minded .....their brain fell out.
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