This is "respectability politics." Basically, stating that if the minority's culture/ideas would just conform to the majority's culture/ideas, then everything would be okay and racism would not exist. Then, the minority would be "deserving" of being treated as an equal or a citizen of the culture. This never works because: 1) all minority's do not think, dress or act the same; 2) it makes one minority responsible for the actions of others in their community (it is never a yt person's responsibility to police the action of other whites); and 3) excuses the perpetrator in favor of blaming the victim.
Also, people who dress and speak to those in the majority culture are still subject to racism.
It is similar to saying women should not wear short skirts because that invites rape. I should not have to act or dress a certain way for you not to abuse me or subject me to racism.