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Domestic arguments and kids; get involved/mind yours

 
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SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
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    Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:52pm
Did your parents curse & fight in front of you? Or do you fight in front of your kids?

When I say fight I mean from yelling curse words at each other to anything more extreme.

I just passed my neighbors' who have a tendency to leave their door cracked or opened; and all I heard was "sh1t" this and "fvcking" that. I stayed a few feet away just in case because the police have been there about a domestic disturbance before. Thankfully the man left, but all I could hear is their poor son (5 or 6 years old) wailing in the background.

My parents' arguments got like that sometimes when I was ~15 and I still hate thinking about it; so I can't imagine what that little boy was feeling.


Would you have gotten involved if necessary or took your ass in the house?
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femmefatale85 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmefatale85 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:57pm
It was rare but it definitely happened. I always tell my parents that my brother got the mature sides of them lol. 

I'm 12 years older than my brother. So my parents in their late 20s couldn't compare to them in their late 30s.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lhdc2011 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:59pm
Grew up in a single parent household. If I had a child, I wouldn't argue in front of them. It is truly heart breaking to see parents' argue in front of their children. Children will soon repeat the behavior, guaranteed.
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:01pm
i mean kids know when you're arguing...even if you're in a bedroom with the door closed...they can still hear you in an apartment.  idk if it's a bad thing per se for children to see their parents argue...it's good for them to see them resolve their issues and know that even the best of marriages have disagreements.  it's HOW the parents fight that is the problem. 

 but then again--i hope this is all in a functional marriage. im also not a big yeller....neither is my dh....so it'd be a different type of arguing


Edited by EPITOME - Feb 03 2013 at 1:03pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Cream1970 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:02pm
My father was extremely abusive to my moms until I was about 11, I heard a lot of shyt. I don't remember seeing the abuse but I could hear it and saw the end result and he would curse and yell at her in front of us.(my older sister, thankfully the youngest two didn't witness what we did)
 
I'm not 100 % sure what I would do, I may would knock on the door and ask if I could take the kid to my place to show them my dog or a video game, watch cartoons, or something. Depends on how well they know me. I think doing something like that w/out addressing the issue may would let them know that they are being overheard and that the kid shouldn't witness it.
 
Again,I'm not sure..It's always easier to speculate what you would do when you're not in the situation yet.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote texasmami0117 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:05pm
they never argued in front of us but we could hear them in the room...well hear my mom goin off. never thought about it much. it took one time for my 5 month old to start crying when me and SO were arguing for me to never do that ish again. i just go take a bath.

Edited by texasmami0117 - Feb 03 2013 at 1:06pm
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SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:13pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

i mean kids know when you're arguing...even if you're in a bedroom with the door closed...they can still hear you in an apartment.  idk if it's a bad thing per se for children to see their parents argue...it's good for them to see them resolve their issues and know that even the best of marriages have disagreements.  it's HOW the parents fight that is the problem. 

 but then again--i hope this is all in a functional marriage. im also not a big yeller....neither is my dh....so it'd be a different type of arguing


yea my parents would usually go in their room and close their door. I remember sitting in my closet with my ear to the wall, listening. They were whispers, but they were harsh. I could make out most of what they were saying and why they were arguing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote bunzaveli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:20pm
my parents had no qualms with arguing in front of me and my siblings, ive seen them get physical as well. they were loving and dysfunctional if that makes sense. towards the end they were pretty malicious to each other. i think the most memorable line i heard my dad recite was, "jesus your food taste like sh*t"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:20pm
Originally posted by Cream1970 Cream1970 wrote:

My father was extremely abusive to my moms until I was about 11, I heard a lot of shyt. I don't remember seeing the abuse but I could hear it and saw the end result and he would curse and yell at her in front of us.(my older sister, thankfully the youngest two didn't witness what we did)
 
I'm not 100 % sure what I would do, I may would knock on the door and ask if I could take the kid to my place to show them my dog or a video game, watch cartoons, or something. Depends on how well they know me. I think doing something like that w/out addressing the issue may would let them know that they are being overheard and that the kid shouldn't witness it.
 
Again,I'm not sure..It's always easier to speculate what you would do when you're not in the situation yet.

Hug

I thought about knocking but was scared he might go off on me. Besides the normal hellos, we've only spoken when she asked me for some milk. The grandmother lives in the same complex but I don't know which apt was hers.

I also wasn't sure if I should go see if she's okay after he left. I don't think he hit her but still...


eta, went and knocked twice. i heard someone in there but no one answered.


Edited by SoutherNtellect - Feb 03 2013 at 1:29pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:24pm

My parents didn't curse and my father was the laid back type while my mama was the screamer. When she hit him or acted a fool he just went to his mothers house 30 seconds up the street and came back in an hour.

My mama is always on ten. I think me and my sisters get out crazy from her but my father was cool as a cucumber.
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