Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Does your husband have to be black?
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Extensions Plus
 

Does your husband have to be black?

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 56789 28>






Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 12 Votes, Average 3.33  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Princess Grace View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Feb 10 2011
Location: On My Throne
Status: Offline
Points: 79361
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:36pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:



what is easier about being with a white man?

just curious

It is in many ways.... in my experience
 


I have been married to both, let me try and phrase this so yall wont unite like VoltronCry

The first time I was married it was to a black man but the wrong one, totally different backgrounds, upbringing, values, views on child raising, I thought I was in love. The fact that he could not see past his HS diploma should have been a super red flag but 18 and in love KNOWS everythang Ouch

As time grew on we grew apart, he felt I was being bougie and I felt he should be outgrowing his hood stage. Even when we moved to the suburbs he hated it, sadly it was a state of mind for him and not an address. Everything was a fight, he felt I wanted to wear the pants and I thought he acted like a ninja with a tax refund everyday. 

I never felt that secure feeling, not that the lights would get cut off but that he was retarded and that if anything worked out for him it was pure luck and the grace of God cause I swear he should be collecting a ssi check to this day. Damn near 14 years later and talking to him is like talking to him in 2001, no growth exactly the same. 

Fast forward to Husband #2, white, well he didnt care what people thought, he was glad I wanted to further my education. he wasnt scared that I would run away after I crossed the stage, he didnt feel like folding a load of laundry was womans work, or if he put something on the grill he was doing me a favor.

It was no power struggle, when he says something I believe him and have faith it will be executed in a timely manner. He never assumed that my son should play basketball just because he is black, they play tennis all the time. 

So in easier I mean , you don;t have to feel like you can;t say this because of making him feel less than a man, or feeling like you have to be superwoman all the time. Its nice to have a partner you can rely on. 




Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
naturesgift View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 11 2007
Location: US - Arizona
Status: Offline
Points: 31059
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote naturesgift Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:39pm
Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

you know what kills me? When people claim they are "broadening their standards" by dating outside their race and then they start dating MEN or Women of other races that their own race won't touch!
I tell you one thing broadening standards is NOT the same as lowering my standards!
and I just feel like some people will date anything instead of BLACK because they have internalized race issues!


LoL @ you using the language from my post! Generalize much?LOL
now "tru" this is not just for you! new fb friend! its for people who claim dating other races is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow IRR have their own problems! and its a sickness to think just because you date another race you are automatically going to find happiness
Back to Top
Rumbera View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 16 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 183130
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Rumbera Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:42pm
Yes, he had to be of African descent
Back to Top
Wildfire View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: May 27 2006
Location: Kingston, JA.
Status: Offline
Points: 88799
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:42pm
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:



what is easier about being with a white man?

just curious

It is in many ways.... in my experience
 


I have been married to both, let me try and phrase this so yall wont unite like VoltronCry

The first time I was married it was to a black man but the wrong one, totally different backgrounds, upbringing, values, views on child raising, I thought I was in love. The fact that he could not see past his HS diploma should have been a super red flag but 18 and in love KNOWS everythang Ouch

As time grew on we grew apart, he felt I was being bougie and I felt he should be outgrowing his hood stage. Even when we moved to the suburbs he hated it, sadly it was a state of mind for him and not an address. Everything was a fight, he felt I wanted to wear the pants and I thought he acted like a ninja with a tax refund everyday. 

I never felt that secure feeling, not that the lights would get cut off but that he was retarded and that if anything worked out for him it was pure luck and the grace of God cause I swear he should be collecting a ssi check to this day. Damn near 14 years later and talking to him is like talking to him in 2001, no growth exactly the same. 

Fast forward to Husband #2, white, well he didnt care what people thought, he was glad I wanted to further my education. he wasnt scared that I would run away after I crossed the stage, he didnt feel like folding a load of laundry was womans work, or if he put something on the grill he was doing me a favor.

It was no power struggle, when he says something I believe him and have faith it will be executed in a timely manner. He never assumed that my son should play basketball just because he is black, they play tennis all the time. 

So in easier I mean , you don;t have to feel like you can;t say this because of making him feel less than a man, or feeling like you have to be superwoman all the time. Its nice to have a partner you can rely on. 





so Grace, that was about race, and not being married to...the wrong man for you, period?
Back to Top
Princess Grace View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Feb 10 2011
Location: On My Throne
Status: Offline
Points: 79361
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:44pm
Wildfire, whatever you got from it is what it means...
Back to Top
ShadyLady View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 11 2011
Location: US-Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 105426
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:45pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

what's going on? LOL


I feel like adults who feel the need to do something because its acceptable on tv are weak minded and probably susceptible to just about anything.

I watch Scandal, and neither me or any like minded individuals wanted to run out and get a married, white man cuz a fictional character on tv did it.
Back to Top
Sang Froid View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 08 2010
Location: Ethiopia
Status: Offline
Points: 309251
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (19) Thanks(19)   Quote Sang Froid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:46pm
You picked the wrong man, but wanna blame it on race?
FOH and don't disrespect my black men again.
Back to Top
trudawg View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 04 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 19098
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote trudawg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:47pm
For reference, just in case folks get these two confused:

sub·jec·tive

[suhb-jek-tiv] Show IPA
adjective
1.
existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought (opposed to objective ).
2.
pertaining to or characteristic of an individual; personal; individual: a subjective evaluation.
3.
placing excessive emphasis on one's own moods, attitudes, opinions, etc.; unduly egocentric.
4.
Philosophy . relating to or of the nature of an object as it is known in the mind as distinct from a thing in itself.
5.
relating to properties or specific conditions of the mind as distinguished from general or universal experience.

ob·jec·tive

[uhb-jek-tiv] Show IPA
adjective

5.
not influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice; based on facts; unbiased: an objective opinion.
6.
intent upon or dealing with things external to the mind rather than with thoughts or feelings, as a person or a book.
7.
being the object of perception or thought; belonging to the object of thought rather than to the thinking subject (opposed to subjective ).
8.
of or pertaining to something that can be known, or to something that is an object or a part of an object; existing independent of thought or an observer as part of reality.



Edited by trudawg - Apr 07 2014 at 2:49pm
Back to Top
Princess Grace View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Feb 10 2011
Location: On My Throne
Status: Offline
Points: 79361
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:48pm
I said from the start that I picked the wrong man, if any of you read.. Nowhere in my posts did I say what I said applied to all black men, nor so I EVER say all white men were easier to deal with.


so you and her can sit on the non reading bench together






Edited by Princess Grace - Apr 07 2014 at 2:49pm
Back to Top
Merin View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 19 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 23759
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Merin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 07 2014 at 2:49pm
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:



what is easier about being with a white man?

just curious

It is in many ways.... in my experience
 


I have been married to both, let me try and phrase this so yall wont unite like VoltronCry

The first time I was married it was to a black man but the wrong one, totally different backgrounds, upbringing, values, views on child raising, I thought I was in love. The fact that he could not see past his HS diploma should have been a super red flag but 18 and in love KNOWS everythang Ouch

As time grew on we grew apart, he felt I was being bougie and I felt he should be outgrowing his hood stage. Even when we moved to the suburbs he hated it, sadly it was a state of mind for him and not an address. Everything was a fight, he felt I wanted to wear the pants and I thought he acted like a ninja with a tax refund everyday. 

I never felt that secure feeling, not that the lights would get cut off but that he was retarded and that if anything worked out for him it was pure luck and the grace of God cause I swear he should be collecting a ssi check to this day. Damn near 14 years later and talking to him is like talking to him in 2001, no growth exactly the same. 

Fast forward to Husband #2, white, well he didnt care what people thought, he was glad I wanted to further my education. he wasnt scared that I would run away after I crossed the stage, he didnt feel like folding a load of laundry was womans work, or if he put something on the grill he was doing me a favor.

It was no power struggle, when he says something I believe him and have faith it will be executed in a timely manner. He never assumed that my son should play basketball just because he is black, they play tennis all the time. 

So in easier I mean , you don;t have to feel like you can;t say this because of making him feel less than a man, or feeling like you have to be superwoman all the time. Its nice to have a partner you can rely on. 






Your experience had nothing to do with race. 
ATTENTION BHM, the views expressed in the quote do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to , #teamswirl. Thank you, Management.
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 56789 28>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down