Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Summer Hair Takeover Specials
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain "
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Perfect Hair Collection
 

Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain "

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 121314




The Best Human Hair Available with No Service Match

Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 7 Votes, Average 3.86  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
foxyroy19 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 08 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 42287
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote foxyroy19 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 9:56pm
intrigued.
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Aerie View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 29 2009
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 2550
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Aerie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 11:21pm
Yeah, it does matter. 

It's weird, I grew up in a family where my mom was lighter than my dad. I always thought my dad was so handsome, so I never had that "dark skin is bad" complex. 
I remember being like 5/6 and wanting to have darker skin so bad!
Then my little brother was born and he's got my father's complexion and he is just SO HANDSOME, so I've always had close positive thoughts towards it. I was so shocked when I started to see how negatively some people viewed it. 

Unfortunately, attractiveness matters in this world to most. Not to all, but to most. And there's this stigma on what's deemed attractive. 
I've noticed it's black people who have more hang ups on dark skin, and obviously black features than non-black people. And it's the immigrants that have prejudices rather than that non-immigrants. 

I believe that everyone is truly beautiful. 
No one is ugly, and that if I find someone to be unattractive, then that's my loss not theirs, because I don't value their beauty. 
Back to Top
fakeizme View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 1817
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fakeizme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 3:50pm

[/QUOTE]

i dont think people treat lighter skin curly haired exotic or whatever you wanna call them better in everyday situations. i think maybe moreso in the entertainment industry but not at regular places of employment, school etc. i actually think that people who look like this (less black) are more likely to be treated badly by other black people who dont fit that" look"

hope that made sense im on my phone[/QUOTE]
True and has happened to me.
Back to Top
fakeizme View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 1817
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote fakeizme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 4:32pm
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:




I completely agree with this. And i'd like to add on to it.
Growing up, i loved my mother. I still do. My mother is the best and everyday I am thankful for the woman she has taught me to be. However, the feeling I felt inside when my father kissed me, rocked me, took me on dates is like I was bursting inside. I had been going on dates a few times a week with my father from the time I could eat solid food because when i was born, in the hospital he told my mom that he can't wait to take me for hamburgers and milkshakes. My mom gave him the side eye because I was about..3 hours old.

He really couldn't wait and as soon and I was able to eat meals like that, that man took me on our dates. I remember them vividly even now. He liked mints a lot, a special kind of mint that sells in Guyana. I was so small so his breath came down onto my face. The mints are black and smell like licorice and I eat them sometimes when I miss my father.
I was falling in love with my father. He paid me attention, he told me I was beautiful, he hugged and kisses me. He was gentle with me and took his time while driving, stopping to check me and pinch my cheeks or kiss my ear. He loved to kiss my ears. He looked me in the eyes and said I love you honey, you are my special baby Derri. I have lots of love letters from my father professing his love to me. I write him as well. What i'm getting at is, my father's love made me confident. When I started to mature, I expected certain things from men. i held them to the standard of my father. I knew what kind of love to look for. One that professes love to me always, is gentle, giving, and unafraid to show it.
As a woman, I got my life values from my mother, but my confidence from my father. As a teen, he wrote me love letters telling me that my acne didn't make me any less of the person. Omg young and dumb with blackgirlproblems i even vented about my nappy hair to him. He comforted me in letters about that as well.

Our fathers are sooo important for our self esteem.
Not knowing if OP has her father or not, (and my father and I have a very complicated relationship) but I was inspired to share based on what alias_avi wrote. The world is effed up, but our parents and family can do their part in strengthening and thereby preparing us for it. And our little black baby boys and girls need it the most.
That's beautiful.
Back to Top
fakeizme View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: Jun 30 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 1817
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fakeizme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 4:36pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

this ls/ds is getting really old. while i do empathize with anyone who has ever felt inadequate/out of place because of their appearance, i believe this argument can be substituted with thin/fat, skin problems/no skin problems, glasses/no glasses, having style/not having style etc. everyone is attracted to different things. period. not everyone who thinks ls folk are attractive have been brainwashed. Not everyone who isnt attracted to ds are coons. I dont care for ls men and im ls, so am i self hating? some of you all need to find it with in yourself to be happy with what you have and work with it. life is way too short to be worried about who you arent getting attention from.
This is the winner.
Back to Top
Becky View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member


Joined: Oct 17 2005
Location: r
Status: Offline
Points: 10065
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Becky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 5:49pm
Originally posted by fakeizme fakeizme wrote:

Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:




I completely agree with this. And i'd like to add on to it.
Growing up, i loved my mother. I still do. My mother is the best and everyday I am thankful for the woman she has taught me to be. However, the feeling I felt inside when my father kissed me, rocked me, took me on dates is like I was bursting inside. I had been going on dates a few times a week with my father from the time I could eat solid food because when i was born, in the hospital he told my mom that he can't wait to take me for hamburgers and milkshakes. My mom gave him the side eye because I was about..3 hours old.

He really couldn't wait and as soon and I was able to eat meals like that, that man took me on our dates. I remember them vividly even now. He liked mints a lot, a special kind of mint that sells in Guyana. I was so small so his breath came down onto my face. The mints are black and smell like licorice and I eat them sometimes when I miss my father.
I was falling in love with my father. He paid me attention, he told me I was beautiful, he hugged and kisses me. He was gentle with me and took his time while driving, stopping to check me and pinch my cheeks or kiss my ear. He loved to kiss my ears. He looked me in the eyes and said I love you honey, you are my special baby Derri. I have lots of love letters from my father professing his love to me. I write him as well. What i'm getting at is, my father's love made me confident. When I started to mature, I expected certain things from men. i held them to the standard of my father. I knew what kind of love to look for. One that professes love to me always, is gentle, giving, and unafraid to show it.
As a woman, I got my life values from my mother, but my confidence from my father. As a teen, he wrote me love letters telling me that my acne didn't make me any less of the person. Omg young and dumb with blackgirlproblems i even vented about my nappy hair to him. He comforted me in letters about that as well.

Our fathers are sooo important for our self esteem.
Not knowing if OP has her father or not, (and my father and I have a very complicated relationship) but I was inspired to share based on what alias_avi wrote. The world is effed up, but our parents and family can do their part in strengthening and thereby preparing us for it. And our little black baby boys and girls need it the most.
That's beautiful.
I totally agree. Great story and well told.
 
Your father should be the first man that loves you - otherwise you often end up with these losers that just taken advantage of you or you end up in the big rediculous drama type relationships.
(Rhiana and Halle for example)
 
This is a major reason why women should WAIT to give birth until they are in a stable relationship.
 
Soooo important to have a father in the home.
Back to Top
darkbarbie View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: Oct 11 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 1356
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote darkbarbie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 6:44pm
that or some important male figurehead .....i didn't have my father but i had 5uncles and a grandpa that cherished me like i was their own. So I know what to expect from a good man because of them
Back to Top
Alias_Avi View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 10 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 264938
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alias_Avi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 9:01pm
Omg Im so sad Cry

I just had a visit from my cousins and my baby cousin's (the 2 year old) hair is being loc'ed! Shocked

I touched her hair and she slapped her hands on her lil head and said "don't touch it" (in her lil chimpmunk voice lol)
I said "Whyy? It's so Pretty!" And she nods her head as if to say "No"
I said "You don't think you're hair is pretty? Ouch"

She goes "No" and then climbs into my lap to watch Dora the Explorer Cry

I don't know what to do. I tell her it's pretty but I don't see her enough for it to make a difference I feel?

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

Colorism is definitely alive and well... But don't assume that this is everyone's experience just because they are ls.

I have two lil cousins, ages 4 and 2. The 4 year old is deep brown in complexion (like her father) and 2 year old is light yellow (like her mother except a lil lighter). However, the 4 year old has loose wavy hair (like Halle Berry's daughter) and the 2 year old has extremely tiny, tight coils (aka "naps")

The mother (a light woman btw) said one day referring to the 4 year old... "Oh, my baby got hair like her great-grandma! How did that happen!?!"

She looks at her 2 year old and says "WTF is this sh*t!?" Ouch ... I was shocked (still mad at myself for not saying anything) but thankfully the lil girl was only 1 at the time

However, I don't doubt for a second that the 2 year old is gonna grow up with a complex about her hair despite her being so beautiful (both lil girls are cuter than average in my humble opinion)

Her mother is gonna transmit, what I call an STD, to her... Spiritually Transmitted Disease

A parent does not have to explicitly state their bias against their children in order for their children understand their parent feels that something isn't right with them

It will be bad enough for her to grow up watching her older sister being complimented by random people off the street because she's "really cute" with her 2c - 3b category curls (it's already happened) but people will probably assume that she gets treated better because she's really light complected (not to say she won't, in relation to other kids but most of us tend to attribute our most memorable experiences to our upbringing). Our childhood experiences is when we learn how to measure ourselves


Back to Top
modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: May 21 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 45056
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 9:40pm
^^2 seems a bit young to loc hair. :-/
Back to Top
FarraFace View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 26 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 198158
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 8:20pm
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
House of CB London
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
The Elite Hair Care Sorority
Electric Cherry Hair
Hair Extensions Wefted Hair Wigs and More
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
FAB Hair Premium Hair Extensions
Dependable Quality Hair
Switch Up your Look with a protective Style
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 121314
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down