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babyk94 
Elite Member
Joined: May 22 2010
Location: Maryland
Status: Offline
Points: 33598
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 Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:14pm |
Op you are Sooo sweet 
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Sang Froid
Elite Member
Joined: Aug 08 2010
Location: Ethiopia
Status: Offline
Points: 329043
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:18pm |
 eanaj5 wrote:
Not necessarily. I was told that I was beautiful multiple times a day by my parents EVERYDAY when i was younger (and they still do it) I didnt believe it. Why? Because I chose to believe what society had to say. It was an effort for me to break away from that and truth be told I still struggle. My parents love me more than anyone on this planet ever will, yet I didnt believe them.
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Why didn't you choose to believe your parents then since you have the ability to choose what to believe and what not to believe?
Look most of the people who have issues are *&%^$#@Eed over by the people that love them as well as society. As a LS person what did society say about you?
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AmyAmyAmy
VIP Member
Joined: Nov 13 2011
Location: Rachetland
Status: Offline
Points: 5761
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:19pm |
The whole colorism thing is very annoying. I hate how people are just brushed aside because of one feature.
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Junior Jr
Elite Member
Joined: Jun 26 2009
Location: md
Status: Offline
Points: 169835
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:20pm |
post a pic, op
no offense, but you might not be that pretty
jr.
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modelbusiness82
Elite Member
Joined: May 21 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 45076
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:23pm |
Junior Jr wrote:
post a pic, op
no offense, but you might not be that pretty
jr. |
side eye
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eanaj5
Elite Member
Joined: Jun 29 2009
Location: here
Status: Offline
Points: 134821
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:24pm |
Sang Froid wrote:
eanaj5 wrote:
Not necessarily. I was told that I was beautiful multiple times a day by my parents EVERYDAY when i was younger (and they still do it) I didnt believe it. Why? Because I chose to believe what society had to say. It was an effort for me to break away from that and truth be told I still struggle. My parents love me more than anyone on this planet ever will, yet I didnt believe them.
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Why didn't you choose to believe your parents then since you have the ability to choose what to believe and what not to believe?
Look most of the people who have issues are *&%^$#@Eed over by the people that love them as well as society. As a LS person what did society say about you? |
I still dont know tbh, maybe I thought they had to tell me that because I was their child and thought the "unbiased" opinions were more "accurate"? idk. and it had more to do with my overall appearance rather than just my skin color, although I cant remember a time where I was 'favored' or 'praised' for my skin tone. I did receive negative remarks from some of my DS peers and some extended family members tho. And in my personal HS experience, skin tone didnt matter not one lick. not one.
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Becky
Guest Group
Joined: Oct 17 2005
Location: r
Status: Offline
Points: 10075
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:48pm |
BeatriceBean wrote:
zsazsa wrote:
Really interesting subject. I used to see how people would fawn over my light skin niece but ignore her darker younger sibling (they look very much alike) extremely hurtful. I found myself overcompensating on dashing out compliments to the little one a lot more often. I fawn over both of them but went the extra mile with her. It's like people don't even see the features - just colour. How dumb.
I have even seen it on here. People are so quick to let you know their skin tone is light in a post for no reason. Cringe-O-Meter.
I remember when I was expecting my son and a friend was like 'OMG he is going to be SO light'. My son is actually darker than both his father and I. What a frikking stupid thing to say in the first place? and she wasn't alone. From the minute he was born, people kept telling me he was dark - like how come he didn't get our skin tone? ask god. People are so DUMB.
Colourism is a disease that needs to be stomped out. It's such a desperate sad way to live. |
Seriously. My mother begged me not to marry my husband because he's dark-skinned. I took my son over to my parents' house after he was born. The first words out of my mother's mouth were, "I knew that he was going to be dark. It's fine because he's a boy, but you don't want a girl that color." I didn't even tell her that I was having another girl because I didn't want any of her toxic energy.
My mom told my youngest daughter that she would be so pretty if only she were as light as her older sister. I don't think we talked for maybe 15 years after that. |
WOW .. glad you had the presence of mind to keep your kids away from your mother's damanging influence. 
This is what all the shrinks say though - THE FAMILY has the biggest influence on a child - no matter what society says.
That's why when I hear Black women complaining about being 'dark' etc .. I don't believe 'society' is really the blame. Yes, society might omit Black beauty in The States (not so much in other places) but it's what your immediate family communicates to you - whether verbal or non verbal that truely defines who you are.
Good on you for saving your girls from that kind of harm
(My mother always told us we were beautiful .. and we believed her ... THANK GOD!)! 
Edited by Becky - Nov 29 2012 at 6:53pm
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discreet.
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 27 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 2348
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 7:29pm |
Junior Jr wrote:
post a pic, op
no offense, but you might not be that pretty
jr. |
I know I am certainly not pretty. I mentioned earlier that those women in the photos are much more beautiful physically than I could ever possibly be! 
I hope you didn't interpret what I said as an insult towards women who look like this because I show them much gratitude.
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discreet.
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 27 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 2348
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 7:30pm |
babyk94 wrote:
Op you are Sooo sweet |
Thank you babyk, that's so nice of you. You are too. Thanks for giving your opinion earlier.
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FarraFace
Elite Member
Joined: Jan 26 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 198778
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Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 8:17pm |
Aunty Ruckus wrote:
This is what all the shrinks say though - THE FAMILY has the biggest influence on a child - no matter what society says.
Yes, society might
omit Black beauty in The States (not so much in other places) but it's what your immediate family communicates to you - whether verbal or non verbal that truely defines who you are. |
BHM has made me really appreciate the value of being raised by a family of vain ass women.
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