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Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain "

 
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Alias_Avi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Alias_Avi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 2:41pm
After that incident, I just started to assume that she was natural because she didn't know what else to do with her hair

To be frank, I think a lot of women who loc their hair do it for that reason. So they don't have to put up with it

Originally posted by teendiva teendiva wrote:


I've always said that a lot of naturals are not accepting of ALL black hair types. Nappy "4c" hair is all but shunned. Don't even try to say your hair isn't curly, folks will take it personal, as if we're ruining the natural hair reputation. /rant Carry on.
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BeatriceBean View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (12) Thanks(12)   Quote BeatriceBean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 2:48pm
Originally posted by zsazsa zsazsa wrote:

Really interesting subject. I used to see how people would fawn over my light skin niece but ignore her darker younger sibling (they look very much alike) extremely hurtful. I found myself overcompensating on dashing out compliments to the little one a lot more often. I fawn over both of them but went the extra mile with her. It's like people don't even see the features - just colour. How dumb. 

I have even seen it on here. People are so quick to let you know their skin tone is light in a post for no reason. Cringe-O-Meter. 

I remember when I was expecting my son and a friend was like 'OMG he is going to be SO light'. My son is actually darker than both his father and I. What a frikking stupid thing to say in the first place? and she wasn't alone. From the minute he was born, people kept telling me he was dark - like how come he didn't get our skin tone? ask god. People are so DUMB. 

Colourism is a disease that needs to be stomped out. It's such a desperate sad way to live. 
 
Seriously. My mother begged me not to marry my husband because he's dark-skinned. I took my son over to my parents' house after he was born. The first words out of my mother's mouth were, "I knew that he was going to be dark. It's fine because he's a boy, but you don't want a girl that color." I didn't even tell her that I was having another girl because I didn't want any of her toxic energy.
 
My mom told my youngest daughter that she would be so pretty if only she were as light as her older sister. I don't think we talked for maybe 15 years after that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 2:50pm
Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

After that incident, I just started to assume that she was natural because she didn't know what else to do with her hair

To be frank, I think a lot of women who loc their hair do it for that reason. So they don't have to put up with it

Originally posted by teendiva teendiva wrote:


I've always said that a lot of naturals are not accepting of ALL black hair types. Nappy "4c" hair is all but shunned. Don't even try to say your hair isn't curly, folks will take it personal, as if we're ruining the natural hair reputation. /rant Carry on.


honestly loc'ing my hair would be the LAST thing I would ever do. It just seems like taking them out in a way that preserves your hair and length is A LOT of work. I'm very DIY, but I draw the lines. Plus, I like to play with my hair too much. Short of dying them and doing updos, locs seem very one dimensional to me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Alias_Avi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 2:53pm
Oh HELL no! I would never bring my children around my mother if she said some ignant sh*t like that

Kudos to you BB for protecting the precious souls of your beautiful children!

Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

Originally posted by zsazsa zsazsa wrote:

Really interesting subject. I used to see how people would fawn over my light skin niece but ignore her darker younger sibling (they look very much alike) extremely hurtful. I found myself overcompensating on dashing out compliments to the little one a lot more often. I fawn over both of them but went the extra mile with her. It's like people don't even see the features - just colour. How dumb. 

I have even seen it on here. People are so quick to let you know their skin tone is light in a post for no reason. Cringe-O-Meter. 

I remember when I was expecting my son and a friend was like 'OMG he is going to be SO light'. My son is actually darker than both his father and I. What a frikking stupid thing to say in the first place? and she wasn't alone. From the minute he was born, people kept telling me he was dark - like how come he didn't get our skin tone? ask god. People are so DUMB. 

Colourism is a disease that needs to be stomped out. It's such a desperate sad way to live. 
 
Seriously. My mother begged me not to marry my husband because he's dark-skinned. I took my son over to my parents' house after he was born. The first words out of my mother's mouth were, "I knew that he was going to be dark. It's fine because he's a boy, but you don't want a girl that color." I didn't even tell her that I was having another girl because I didn't want any of her toxic energy.
 
My mom told my youngest daughter that she would be so pretty if only she were as light as her older sister. I don't think we talked for maybe 15 years after that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 3:02pm
OT curiosity, but did discreet address in any of these 12 pages why the OP says she's 20, but her profile says she's 24?



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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 3:14pm
My profile says that i'm 7
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FarraFace View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 3:19pm
^^^^I been meaning to ask you about that.
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Lol whatever
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote honeyb87 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:12pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

Originally posted by zsazsa zsazsa wrote:

Really interesting subject. I used to see how people would fawn over my light skin niece but ignore her darker younger sibling (they look very much alike) extremely hurtful. I found myself overcompensating on dashing out compliments to the little one a lot more often. I fawn over both of them but went the extra mile with her. It's like people don't even see the features - just colour. How dumb. 

I have even seen it on here. People are so quick to let you know their skin tone is light in a post for no reason. Cringe-O-Meter. 

I remember when I was expecting my son and a friend was like 'OMG he is going to be SO light'. My son is actually darker than both his father and I. What a frikking stupid thing to say in the first place? and she wasn't alone. From the minute he was born, people kept telling me he was dark - like how come he didn't get our skin tone? ask god. People are so DUMB. 

Colourism is a disease that needs to be stomped out. It's such a desperate sad way to live. 
 
Seriously. My mother begged me not to marry my husband because he's dark-skinned. I took my son over to my parents' house after he was born. The first words out of my mother's mouth were, "I knew that he was going to be dark. It's fine because he's a boy, but you don't want a girl that color." I didn't even tell her that I was having another girl because I didn't want any of her toxic energy.
 
My mom told my youngest daughter that she would be so pretty if only she were as light as her older sister. I don't think we talked for maybe 15 years after that.


Wow....Ouch
We as black mothers need to start building up our daughter's self esteem as soon as she leaves the womb. I can't imagine my mom saying that to me or or my future daughter. I cringe at the thought.

People need to realize that children absorb every action they see, how someone made them feel, and every word they hear- and it solidifies as they grow older. I still remember some mean things that kids said to me when I was a kid Ouch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote discreet. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:15pm
I just wanted to comment again back on my post to clarify something. I just wanted to say I know there are women who don't look like this who are beautiful, especially women without these features. Whether be dark skin, or light skin. 

What I was trying to simulate was the fact that it's not necessarily the beauty of these women that captivate people, it is their look. The differentiating factor, to me at least Embarrassed. The differentiating factor from what I've seen, experienced, and just have concluded is that as long as you have this sort of look, you are automatically deemed as a Goddess or some archetype of a woman. (Which I believe is true, all women are Goddesses regardless of the way they look, none of us choose, and certainly the Goddess lays in all of us) Smile 

As long as you look this way, you often times get a pass, for many things. It's the highschool hall monitor "You need a pass to be accepted here" concept. Simply put, as long as you look this way in some sort of form, it doesn't take much for you to impress many people often times with what you have to offer. Because of the fact that you are automatically deemed the whole package already! So you can have a normal personality (Meaning, you are like most human beings, which I think is absolutely okay) where in you believe to do good, feel good, and live good whilst treating others good, it's like, "Wowwwwwwwwww! You are everything." Meanwhile there are many people with the same outlook on life. You get away with doing everyday things, or saying things, that most people would with admiration. You are automatically "Too good to be true." 
People give in and believe in this facade, that all you do is spectacular and more so than anyone else from what I've noticed. Embarrassed 

Let someone who does not have this look say something of similar dialect and it's not often a "Too good to be true," it's more of a "Yes, I agree with you." Meaning it's not as exciting. 

Truth be told though, I just wanted to clarify that I know and am well aware that this is not the only concept of beauty at all. Growing up as a West Indian girl and living in America now, the same concept can apply. Your "coolie" haired cousin is pretty because of their hair. Your lighter sister should model, sort of thing. And this can apply to my thread very well because when you piece them together, being a lighter complexion and having that hair texture, you are often more appreciated than anyone else. Therefore it's not truly always about beauty, it's your assets. 

Same thing can apply to Vashti (Who I think is also beautiful as these women), she is a normal featured woman, but because of her hair and the way she dresses people fawn over her and fall into what may or may not be a facade. 

I don't want to look like those girls, realistically. Because I wouldn't be me if I did. I do believe most times I'd have it "easier" in certain ways as noted yesterday night. However, I do sometimes wish I was so then I'd be the "whole package", because if my insides are okay, it's a shame that people often don't give me the chance because of the physical. 

It's okay though, we're humans after all. 

So it's something to think about and I appreciate everyone responding so much. Star
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