Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain "

honeyb87 wrote: All the black women I know who went overseas (especially Italy, Japan, Belgium, Ireland, Switzerland) they said they were either treated like royalty, or they got a lot of compliments and (good) stares because of their hair and skin. I know not everyone has this experience, but it goes to show you that everyone is attractive to someone.

First, I agree with most posters. It's true, this does happen.

I would say that we tend to not pay attention to the positive experiences because what u mentioned about ur friends overseas happens to me everyday in America and I'm black. Dark skinned. 4a/b hair. Thick. I see the light skin vs dark skin problems, but I don't embody them. I also see the tons of stares, recognize the compliments, the flirting, it may not come from who u want or expect ALL the time, but it happens. Remember the little old lady who loved ur hair or the man at the grocery store who smiled when u made eye contact. Be confident. Exude happiness and make ur own self worth. These peoples compliments or ideas off trivial things. When u look like someone who knows that ur the sh*t, people automatically fall in line. Not everyone finds ONLY light skin or ONLY dark skin girls. It's 300 million people in the us. All of whom have different preferences. Hell, some people prefer midgets. Do u only eat one kind of ice team because that's the one u prefer? No, sometimes other favors call ur name. Same thing with people. Buck up kid! If ur personality is what people like, u can add that into ur walk, ur wardrobe, ur makeup, anything. Personality is truly what matters anyway and if you've already got it? Ur good! So ur friends may get attention, but you can keep attention. Trust me ur only 20, it gets better.

It stems from fear

We are "insanely negative" because we are 'insanely judged' by everyone; therefore, we tend to critique each other fiercely when we know that the eyes of OTHERS are watching for fear that THEY will see our flaws first. It's a bit of self-hatred mixed in there too. We are so harsh on ourselves and each other because we feel we deserve it

It's that Double Consciousness W.E.B. DuBois referred too. We have this ability to look at ourselves through the prism of our own consciousness and yet, we also have this need to look at ourselves in the same way that everyone else does

modelbusiness82 wrote: I would agree that the AA community is an insanely negative one at times. Very quick to look for flaws whether it's "weave checking" to the clothes, etc. Yes, everyone does it regardless of race (weave checking probably not so much!) but we seem to make it a national pass time.

Edited by Alias_Avi - Nov 29 2012 at 12:23pm

We have harsher beauty standards for ourselves than the "Destroyers of Civilization" have for us.

Elohim_is_Love wrote: Limalady wrote: We have harsher beauty standards for ourselves than the "Destroyers of Civilization" have for us. And who caused that? You have to look at the cause and the effect. We didn't start this out of the blue, take back your own culture and make up the rules you have for it. Why would I deny myself cause of anything that I was born with because some twit doesn't like it, it's not rational nor logical. He doesn't have anything special that makes him better, its just there are more of his people here. But still he cannot rule my mind if I don't allow him to.

Aww pity




And i agree with alias_avi again