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Does anyone feel that People who look a certain

 
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modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 11:50am
Although xenophobia is alive and well in any country that was touched by European colonization, it's also a truth that outside of the US, being darker skinned doesn't immediately get the negative reaction that you would automatically assume. I go to Asia a lot, and that's a region that is purported to be very anti dark skin - even within their own community. And I've never received anything but kindness.

I say that to say, yes, pretty much most cultures of color are color struck due to historical circumstances, but the constant need to specifically put down women of color (specifically African American women) seems to be something that is "peculiar" to the US specifically.
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honeyb87 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote honeyb87 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 11:55am
All the black women I know who went overseas (especially Italy, Japan, Belgium, Ireland, Switzerland) they said they were either treated like royalty, or they got a lot of compliments and (good) stares because of their hair and skin. I know not everyone has this experience, but it goes to show you that everyone is attractive to someone.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 11:57am
 
Originally posted by honeyb87 honeyb87 wrote:

All the black women I know who went overseas (especially Italy, Japan, Belgium, Ireland, Switzerland) they said they were either treated like royalty, or they got a lot of compliments and (good) stares because of their hair and skin. I know not everyone has this experience, but it goes to show you that everyone is attractive to someone.

 
You don't have to go that far to find people that will treat you well. Wink There are people right here in the USA that will treat you like a princess.
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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 12:00pm
I think when you live in the same country as your slavemaster, having to fight and struggle with them for basic human rights, then still always having to stretch out your hand out to them for your bread and butter, yes there is bound to be a very unique mental process happening over time with the generations.

We as black people are not as independent enough in this society. We need to keep building! Action is the greatest restorer of confidence. (I see this being the issue in my nativr country as well)

Especially so in Canada, where I live now. There are far less black people with financial power, and even less doig anything to build the black community.

Edited by Derri - Nov 29 2012 at 12:03pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote honeyb87 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 12:03pm
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:


I need to get this off my chest because I've been feeling this way for some time now....


I feel like Black women (mothers, grandmothers, aunts, elders, celebs etc,) in general, are doing a sh*tty job at instilling value, confidence and impenetrable self-esteem in young Black women and girls. Not all Bw are guilty of this but too many imo

In fact, a lot of the time, they are the ones breaking down these girls. Giving them life-long complexes (prolly cuz they haven't gotten rid of their own before birthing their daughters)

Where is the maturity and the wisdom in our community? Why are so many young Black girls so desperate and lonely? Why do so many of them have damaged self-esteem and self-image? The girls in our community should know who they are BEFORE they enter the world (or before the world enters THEM, rather) and yet, the self-image of many is being molded by OTHERS.

Why, I must ask, if you know that television is deteriorating the self-esteem of young girls of color, do allow your child to sit in front of the TV for hours consuming garbage?

None of these "Black girl" campaigns are attacking the root of the problem and I take issue with that

We need a better plan to rid this issue




I completely agree with this. And i'd like to add on to it.
Growing up, i loved my mother. I still do. My mother is the best and everyday I am thankful for the woman she has taught me to be. However, the feeling I felt inside when my father kissed me, rocked me, took me on dates is like I was bursting inside. I had been going on dates a few times a week with my father from the time I could eat solid food because when i was born, in the hospital he told my mom that he can't wait to take me for hamburgers and milkshakes. My mom gave him the side eye because I was about..3 hours old.

He really couldn't wait and as soon and I was able to eat meals like that, that man took me on our dates. I remember them vividly even now. He liked mints a lot, a special kind of mint that sells in Guyana. I was so small so his breath came down onto my face. The mints are black and smell like licorice and I eat them sometimes when I miss my father.
I was falling in love with my father. He paid me attention, he told me I was beautiful, he hugged and kisses me. He was gentle with me and took his time while driving, stopping to check me and pinch my cheeks or kiss my ear. He loved to kiss my ears. He looked me in the eyes and said I love you honey, you are my special baby Derri. I have lots of love letters from my father professing his love to me. I write him as well. What i'm getting at is, my father's love made me confident. When I started to mature, I expected certain things from men. i held them to the standard of my father. I knew what kind of love to look for. One that professes love to me always, is gentle, giving, and unafraid to show it.
As a woman, I got my life values from my mother, but my confidence from my father. As a teen, he wrote me love letters telling me that my acne didn't make me any less of the person. Omg young and dumb with blackgirlproblems i even vented about my nappy hair to him. He comforted me in letters about that as well.

Our fathers are sooo important for our self esteem.
Not knowing if OP has her father or not, (and my father and I have a very complicated relationship) but I was inspired to share based on what alias_avi wrote. The world is effed up, but our parents and family can do their part in strengthening and thereby preparing us for it. And our little black baby boys and girls need it the most.


Why did this have me on the verge of tears?? Heart Cry
Thanks for sharing! I want to go hug my parents.
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honeyb87 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote honeyb87 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 12:04pm
Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

 
Originally posted by honeyb87 honeyb87 wrote:

All the black women I know who went overseas (especially Italy, Japan, Belgium, Ireland, Switzerland) they said they were either treated like royalty, or they got a lot of compliments and (good) stares because of their hair and skin. I know not everyone has this experience, but it goes to show you that everyone is attractive to someone.

 
You don't have to go that far to find people that will treat you well. Wink There are people right here in the USA that will treat you like a princess.


Trust, I know Wink
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Limalady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 12:08pm
There may be the exotic factor in Europe, but many get the same reception here, "Your skin is so beautiful. You are so pretty." We don't really say that to one another in our own community, which may be why people search for validation in other communities.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote BrownQtee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 12:10pm
Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:

Although xenophobia is alive and well in any country that was touched by European colonization, it's also a truth that outside of the US, being darker skinned doesn't immediately get the negative reaction that you would automatically assume. I go to Asia a lot, and that's a region that is purported to be very anti dark skin - even within their own community. And I've never received anything but kindness.

I say that to say, yes, pretty much most cultures of color are color struck due to historical circumstances, but the constant need to specifically put down women of color (specifically African American women) seems to be something that is "peculiar" to the US specifically.
 
And unfortunately, usually by our own people. smdh.
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modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 12:12pm
I would agree that the AA community is an insanely negative one at times. Very quick to look for flaws whether it's "weave checking" to the clothes, etc. Yes, everyone does it regardless of race (weave checking probably not so much!) but we seem to make it a national pass time. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 12:16pm
Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:

I would agree that the AA community is an insanely negative one at times. Very quick to look for flaws whether it's "weave checking" to the clothes, etc. Yes, everyone does it regardless of race (weave checking probably not so much!) but we seem to make it a national pass time. 
 
True. Ouch This makes me sad honestly.
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