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Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain "

 
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modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:38pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

I knew I wasn't the most prettiful person in school. But I never got depressed about it. It is what is, you know? As a result, I created my own crazy personality that drew people to me. I honestly think that if I was drop dead gorgeous, I'd be so used to people coming to me, that my personality/self esteem would be underdeveloped, because I never had to put in work.
Also, I'd like to say that there are good things about being ugly. For example, your facial expressions are always funnier. Check out Emmanuel Hudson if you think I'm lying.


Stern Smile

This only seems to solidify what OP is saying. In order to compensate for what you think might be missing physically, you're forcing yourself to be super animated/out of the box in order to attract friends who maybe might otherwise bypass you if you acted "regular".

And IMO, men get away with not being 100% attractive way easier than women. A woman who's considered unattractive is going to be treated much harsher than a guy who isn't passing the cut for hottie of the year. 

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noneyons View Drop Down
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pretty is overrated
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nala52808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:45pm
Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:


Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

I knew I wasn't the most prettiful person in school. But I never got depressed about it. It is what is, you know? As a result, I created my own crazy personality that drew people to me. I honestly think that if I was drop dead gorgeous, I'd be so used to people coming to me, that my personality/self esteem would be underdeveloped, because I never had to put in work.
Also, I'd like to say that there are good things about being ugly. For example, your facial expressions are always funnier. Check out Emmanuel Hudson if you think I'm lying.


Stern Smile

This only seems to solidify what OP is saying. In order to compensate for what you think might be missing physically, you're forcing yourself to be super animated/out of the box in order to attract friends who maybe might otherwise bypass you if you acted "regular".

And IMO, men get away with not being 100% attractive way easier than women. A woman who's considered unattractive is going to be treated much harsher than a guy who isn't passing the cut for hottie of the year. 


I don't even know what's goin on in here mayne. I just looked at the title and started typing. Didn't read a word of what the op wrote. So imma just leave now, and y'all can act like I was never here, OK?
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discreet. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote discreet. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:46pm
Originally posted by Hello! Tsuki Hello! Tsuki wrote:

Originally posted by mangachan mangachan wrote:

People who are attractive are perceived and treated differently but that goes beyond "light skin dark skinned." Alot of it does have to do with how you present yourself.  I was perceived differently when I was younger (wore jeans, t-shirts and dirty sneaker) than I do now.  Still the same complexion...other things have changed inside and out.

Accept the things you can't change and change the things you can't accept.
IA. OP how do you present yourself? How do your friends present themselves?

I present myself as myself. No pretense. I'm just a person who is trying to pursue their dreams as anyone else. That's a great question to ask me though. Embarrassed If you mean in a physical sense, I'm not trendy, although I like clothes and stuff like that I don't so much care about being a fashionista sort of dresser although I like fashion and clothes! I am quite ugly, to most people so most say my beauty is my personality. I carry myself like a person, I believe. It's a really great question because I don't know how to answer this, and I'm trying to find the words, so please bear with me. I usually wear a hat, just a beanie. Same one. My friends do their make-up, do their hair, do regular things most young women do. They dress and impress, they are trendy. They dress like American Apparel models and young people. As they should, they're lovely. That's what they like, so that's how they present themselves. But even when they don't wear these things they are still beautiful girls. And to most people it still doesn't matter because they have this look.


My friends are quite pretty in general, physically. They have "curvy and svelte" bodies and come across as the whole "package" to most people because they are nice and also have this look. 

I don't think we can be compared in similarity physically because I'm opposite in that way. I'm quite a sad individual some days but I love positive vibes and try my best to find faith and peace inside, so that's how I present myself. Just as myself. I suppose being myself isn't "beautiful" however to most people. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote bk2la981 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:46pm
I'm light skinned but I don't have big curly hair. My hair is usually in a bun actually. I do get preferential treatment sometimes and people (men) have blatantly said it. ” always happy to help out a pretty girl” then to show them how superficial they are being, I then sometimes ask what about ask ugly one? They sometimes feel dumb. I don't think this has to do with me being l.s., just pretty. As a ” pretty” girl, I'm very thankful for my looks, and I'm very nice to all people. Im funny (I wasn't always pretty, I was the ugly duckling in hs, so I had to compensate), im smart, kind...Fyi white women or fat women do not give me preferential treatment at all.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote teendiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:53pm
Originally posted by solo solo wrote:


Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by discreet. discreet. wrote:


Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

no i dont


Can you elaborate as to why you feel that way? I'm really interested in an opposite opinion/outlook! Smile


i dont think people treat lighter skin curly haired exotic or whatever you wanna call them better in everyday situations. i think maybe moreso in the entertainment industry but not at regular places of employment, school etc. i actually think that people who look like this (less black) are more likely to be treated badly by other black people who dont fit that" look"

hope that made sense im on my phone



It must be fun to be in lala land

I'm hopping on the next flight.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote discreet. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:53pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

I knew I wasn't the most prettiful person in school. But I never got depressed about it. It is what is, you know? As a result, I created my own crazy personality that drew people to me. I honestly think that if I was drop dead gorgeous, I'd be so used to people coming to me, that my personality/self esteem would be underdeveloped, because I never had to put in work.
Also, I'd like to say that there are good things about being ugly. For example, your facial expressions are always funnier. Check out Emmanuel Hudson if you think I'm lying.

LOL Prettiful ~

You do seem funny, and i think that's lovely, because laughing is just amazing. I understand what you mean about being gorgeous (although you may just very well be in spirit or in some way) and having people tell you that all the time. I know my friends get mad when I write things like, "My friends do not understand" but the truth is that they get mad because they believe and have gone through certain scenarios which are similar. (Being called ugly) And I had one of my friends say that I was belittling their accomplishment of confidence over the years. In other words, "She put in the work." And although I would never belittle someone's accomplishment of confidence and self acceptance, she was wrong. Then, she understood and apologized. 

She doesn't know what it's like from this end, because it will not stop for me, and doesn't always stop for many women like me. 


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote BoutThatLife Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:55pm
Hug

Sadly everything you said rings true in society.  If you are the brown/black one hanging around nothing but light & mixed girls then I completely get that you are treated this way.  While you may have your own unique beauty, the people you're around are drawing those who are struck by their brand of beauty but when they get around you they're dismissive of yours.  Have you considered branching out? Hanging with other dark skinned black girls?  Sometimes it's best to clique up with women who are similar to you so there's none of that exclusion or hurt feelings.  There is definetely a difference in the way we are treated based on skin color.  IT's the same reason why people (men and women alike) will fawn over Kim K but look down on a similar black woman. Why a woman of Amber Rose's rep can get wifed and be seen as a trophy but a black woman doing the same is in the gutter of a hole in the wall strip club some where

When I was growing up people (boys, other girls, even adults) were a lot kinder and more accepting to the lighter and mixed girls.  It was rare for a dark skinned black girl to be fawned after and seen as gf material and not just sexual. Certain looks get fawned over and valued more even though logically we know that they arent better, they just get that hype.  Everyone unconsciously noticed it, but the girls who did say something about it were instantly labeled bitter, jealous, negative, and haters.  It was like you were just supposed to accept "your place" in the background and not to question it.



Also I wanna know, what's your swag normally like?  If you are considering trying to fit in, I understand that and wont knock you for it.  We live in a highly visual society and in your 20s you wanna fit that mold and be considered top level. No one wants to feel like chopped liver.  Some women gonna try to make you feel like you're wrong for that, but most women do want to attract a high number of men and be sought after. Who doesnt want that feeling?

You may want to consider tweaking things a little bit.  If you dont have one already, consider a very good weave. Like how Aaliyah's hair used to be, that long thick full natural look.  You'll have the edge of having the hair that's most fawned after in society.  If you are not racially ambiguous and you want to fit the mainstream more, I wouldnt suggest being natural if your hair is coarser than a 3c at the most unless it is very long (mid back). 

Wear makeup. Not a lot, dont do that tacky hood girl sh*t, just a light natural app. You can play with colors on your eyes and lips as long as you use quality brands but you never want to look cheap. We as black women cant afford to half step, we cant look cheap and skimp otherwise it gives off a low class low value vibe.

Dress cute, trendy yet sexy. a HINT of sexy, not too much.  I've seen a lot of dark girls make this mistake and be penalized for it (unlike the lighter girls).  If you got nice assets and really try to flaunt it to make up for the color bias, you will be seen as a sex symbol not the wife.  But you dont want to go too far on the other end and look like a lame or grandma because you too scared to be cute.  You know dress whats hot for your body shape, type and social group

Keep your weight down. Dont get any bigger than a "thick" and not a Deelishus booty thick because then you wont be taken seriously, you'll just be seen as a walking ass. Actually your best bet is to be in shape, be the size that you're healthy and confident at. dont worry about having curves just dont be trying to pump your ass up (not that u would just saying girls like that get treated like hoes off the rip)

You can either adjust and work with your looks to be as society beautiful as you can, or you can just accept it but know that when a 1/2 breed is around you're gonna be in the shadows.  For some women, they will be like "Well I dont give a damn" but when you're in your 20s just coming out of your teens I certainly cant pretend like thats not something you're not allowed to want to
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discreet. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote discreet. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:55pm
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

pretty is overrated

i agree with you. pretty is just a look to most. but sadly it gets rated over and over, that one word! but nevertheless you're very right. Embarrassed
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote AffirmativeBunny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:59pm
Here is a hug for you OP Hug
You're very right, I have noticed this too. Its a sad reality but I guess not much can be done about it. The fact that this image is unapologetically pushed in media (mostly urban media) makes it even worse.
Can I also just say that you're very eloquent. Nice to see a well written post with good grammar. Smile
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