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Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain "

 
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    Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:42pm
.. "..way get treated better?" 

I find beauty in almost any and everything because beauty comes in many different ways, whether by style, shapes, ideas, shades, or looks.. But I'm just kind of going through "it." with a few things.

I'm a darker skinned girl who does not look "racially ambiguous" or what people would think of as "mixed" and I just would kind of like insight to this, or just to know if anyone understands? 
I don't have big curly ringlets, and I don't have features that are as "beautiful" to most as say girls like these http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdnvaxPgiN1qj8quko1_500.png http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/55/4c2a876a5bbca0a0ae347fef2f1d9011/l.jpg (Who I'm sure may be nice people as well, or have nice personalities, not sure as I don't know them!)

I have been treated differently, because of my looks. Until this day I get treated poorly for how I look most times in comparison to my friends who have similar features to women like those models. (Which is ultimately okay because nobody asks for it) But I also feel like people have this mentality of "light skin, curly hair, i want them," which is preference but I don't understand fully understand what makes that more beautiful than any other type of female? I've also noticed situations where in having this sort of look will make people often nicer to you or automatically more accepting of you. Regardless of your depth as a person, or how nice you are even. As a young woman, only 20, it hurts when men don't talk to me because I don't have this sort of look, or unlike my friends I'm not a racially ambiguous looking black girl who gets "what're you? what are you mixed with?" As if it makes one better. They have the "look" therefore to most they're already just too perfect for words. (Regardless of their personalities)

Now to this.. Many people who have told me what they like about me, often say my personality. Which I appreciate, because although I'm not as beautiful physically to most people as women like the one's pictured, someone finds my mind beautiful. Someone I know calls me their Nina Simone. And I find that so amazing because Nina was so powerful, that was a beauty in the flesh. She may not have been "pretty" to most, but I think she was a lovely soul. I told someone that and they said she was so "not attractive.." So the parallel lays there. 

It's a two sided stick, where it's more important to have beautiful inside, but on the other side, you get chances when you are the standard of beauty/physically beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and women are all beautiful creatures regardless of their unique look(s), but why is this look more beautiful than any other? I mean people don't even have to have "amazing features" all that someone needs now to be considered as nice looking is curly hair and lighter skin. So I am drawn to ask this..

Do you (person reading) feel that people who look a certain way get treated better?

Has anyone else ever experienced this?


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solo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (36) Thanks(36)   Quote solo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:45pm
Umm...yes. Absolutely, without a doubt. It's a fact.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (10) Thanks(10)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:49pm
of course, there are studies that prove this.

I think your lack of confidence might also be getting in the way. When you carry yourself with confidence, people are more likely to be pulled to you. You have to personally believe that you are the prettiest, who cares what everyone else things.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote discreet. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:49pm
I appreciate you being honest.

Because I think so too, but I like to know others thoughts on this. I was once recently called a "Jealous ugly dark girl", and I'm not jealous of women who look that way. I do believe however that if I looked like that I'd have a lot of things easier and people would be more accepting of me, due to my experiences with friends, my older sister, cousins, and so forth.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote petiteone29 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:50pm
no i dont
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (12) Thanks(12)   Quote solo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:50pm
Reading over this kind of made me sad. Looks are something we all worry about because it's the first thing people see when they look at us. They don't know if we're smart, funny, saved orphans from burning buildings, rapists. murders etc. But they look at our faces and form opinions about us based on how we look.

The bad thing is you can't change that. And the good thing is, you can't change that. You're 20...it will get better. As you get older you will grow more comfortable in yourself and learn that there are way more ways to be attractive than just having a pretty face or nice hair.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:51pm
Yes this is definitely true and has been documented. But it goes beyond light vs dark. If you're obese you're going to be treated different than your smaller counterparts. If you aren't considered the typical "attractive" you're going to be treated differently as well. Definitely not fair but a reality. For a lot of society, they feel that someone being considered unattractive or not being the ideal makes them fair play to be marginalized/disrespected. And I know that from first hand experience.

Growing up I had awkward features and got teased/bullied A LOT for that as well as ignored/marginalized. To make friends I had to be twice as nice as my counterparts and to get any attention, it was mainly because I was an exceptional student. Somewhere between HS and colleged the awkward features turned into features that were good for modeling and now (not to sound conceited) guys trip over themselves to talk to me. But those are the same skanks who would have teased and straight up said disrespectful ish to my face.

So, I tend to prefer to choose my friends and SOs based on their deeds than just pure looks alone.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote discreet. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:52pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

no i dont

Can you elaborate as to why you feel that way? I'm really interested in an opposite opinion/outlook! Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 9:54pm
Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

of course, there are studies that prove this.

I think your lack of confidence might also be getting in the way. When you carry yourself with confidence, people are more likely to be pulled to you. You have to personally believe that you are the prettiest, who cares what everyone else things.




I totally agree with the above, although I can also completely acknowledge that it's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy thing. If you spend every day getting put down, after a while, it can be very easy to internalize it and accept it as fact rather than just the opinion of the peanut gallery. It takes a lot of will power (speaking from personal opinion experience) to reverse the type of psychological damage that this type of bullying can do. Ouch


Edited by modelbusiness82 - Nov 28 2012 at 9:55pm
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Originally posted by solo solo wrote:

Reading over this kind of made me sad. Looks are something we all worry about because it's the first thing people see when they look at us. They don't know if we're smart, funny, saved orphans from burning buildings, rapists. murders etc. But they look at our faces and form opinions about us based on how we look.

The bad thing is you can't change that. And the good thing is, you can't change that. You're 20...it will get better. As you get older you will grow more comfortable in yourself and learn that there are way more ways to be attractive than just having a pretty face or nice hair.

Oh absolutely. I would say I'm not the most confident young woman in the world, but I do for sure believe there are more ways to be attractive than just having a pretty face or certain type of hair. 

I just wonder and sometimes digress in these things because I know growing up and even now a lot of times it hurts me in the back of my mind that people have an outlook this way. It's ultimately okay, because they are beautiful women regardless, and maybe even lovely people. But I just like to know why is that the only beauty people see?

What about that makes someone more deserving of anyone else? It's just the questions that have lingered through my head while growing up and now a lot is all. 
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