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Do second chances work?

 
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Emily Loretta View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Emily Loretta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 7:31am
Yes! Second chances can work out, just got to give the to the right people...you might be pleasantly surprise. And if your asking here then you're already thinking of taking that step. Good luck...Big smile
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Spokenword View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 1:20pm
second chances could (but very rarely) work but at least make the man WORK to earn your trust.  if he cheated, he should know that he does not get the opportunity to talk to you everyday. Are you guys having sex? did he say he wants you back? how long were you two together?
 
i want to tell you to move on, but it sounds like you may be giving him a chance. so if you do, i think that its important that you at least let him know that cheating was not ok by falling back. Even if you do decide to give him another chance you should really allow him to sweat a little and work to earn you back. if he does not put in the work....then that should tell you what you need to know.
 
you always take chances in going back to exes, especially if they cheated so be careful and good luck with whatever you decide.  i don't know if i could feel comfortable and trust a man who cheated on me. i don't like the feeling of uncertainty. and for this, wouldn't be able to look at him the same. but each person is different, do what is best for you. take it as a learning lesson whichever way you go.
 


Edited by Spokenword - Nov 25 2012 at 1:32pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 1:38pm
meant to ask, why do you want to give him another chance? what do you think will change? what has he done to show you that things will be different this time?
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Twisted_Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 11:30pm
There are exceptions

but cheating..

NONONONONO please!! No

no sweetie let him go your only torturing yourself

once a person shows your their true colors.....like cheating.....let them be because if you go back to him he's just going to show you his true colors again.

sweetheart if a person cheats on you, they never cared about you.

just you speaking to him everyday, in his mind hes like...wow i f**** another chick and i got away with it, and so in his  mind is okay to continue with it because your accepting it.

A relationship is nothing without trust and I tried staying with somebody that cheated on me, but is not worth it, as soon as they walk out the door, answer the phone, email etc, in the back of your mind you will always wonder if they are up to something. Its going to drive you insane.

You don't want to be with someone you can't trust you don't want that stress in your life.

let him go...





Edited by Twisted_Angel - Nov 27 2012 at 11:33pm
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missdeeluxe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote missdeeluxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 8:50pm
Yes!
I'm a firm believer that people CAN change, if they choose to.

My boyfriend and I split the first time because things had started to go south and I started talking to an ex of mine briefly (liked the attention, didn't get it from the bf, was purely emotional) things ended and we spent some time a part but we ended up back together.
I've been together almost a year and a half now after everything and we're better than ever.

That trust needs to be earned back and that takes time.
Both parties need to be willing to try their hardest.

Good luck!
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ariahoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ariahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 2:29pm
Yes, Yes and YES!!! to all those who believe in the statement.."I'm a firm believer that people CAN change" Listen my ladies and gents if you are listening, so long as you have a heart and sometimes make or have made mistakes yourself in your relationship, whether it is or was plutonic or even intimate, and remember that there is such a thing called Karma. Just as missdeeluxe said, if both parties are willing to work their damn hardest to make it work, believe me it never fails to work. The problem is that either one or both party feels so much hurt and pain that he or she is just not willing to to give any thought of working things out.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ariahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 2:30pm
Here's my thing, if you know in your heart that this person can, is committed and willing to change for the better, DO NOT LOOK THE OTHER WAY HONEY! We can all babble and ramble on about our respective opinions but do not let your heart and the experience you have had with this person be cast aside because you decided to take up some advise from your trusted BHM Members. Some of us are currently in relationships too and some of us are not for  reasons that could very welll be our own doing. You have to trust not only your heart but most importantly, will he or she change to make you happy, love you and live with you happily ever after, if thats where you intend your relationship to go.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ariahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 2:31pm
If the person is builder or a coaster, just remember that builders can make mistakes too, they are not perfect, they are human just like you and I. I have learned and read that in practically most relationships, when one party says 'that's it I've had enough, I cannot do this anymore' is when often most men and less of ladies, decide to take that relationship 'Seriously'. So Honey, you can now be in the driving seat and literally guide your ship from port to port, docks to docks, and around the World if that's your desire. All those that said 'Hell No!' are telling you from their respective experiences so, would it really be fair for you to judge your relationship based on other people's failed relationship and experiences? absolutely not!!!!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ariahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 2:32pm
If a microscopic part of you still loves that person and you know in your heart that this person can and will change "Let There Be Love Honey" because life is too short and this is human nature. Honey, I would say that you should not allow your hurt and pain turn into distraction where you potentially turn away from someone who might actually be the ONE!Trust me Honey, there are sooooooo many out there who let that potential person go and BELIEVE Me they live and continue to regret it...The ONE doesn't fall on your lap Honey, the ONE is that person willing to fight to let you know that YOU! are the ONE. And sometimes, that 2ND Chance is often what always ignites that turbo engine, and you guys will be jetting off to Venus, Mars, Pluto, Real Talk Honey.Description: Thumbs Up

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ariahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 01 2012 at 2:32pm

I am a firm believer in 2ND Chances, even if your partner does not believe in it, someone has to be the bigger person in ANY relationship Honey, because without it, that relationship is definitely doom to go the same route as the Titanic. I am not saying be the fool, OH HA HEEEELLL NO! Lay down some ground rules, some considerate ones and a few seriously outrageous ones just to test this person's willingness and commitment to YOU. You do not have to implement the outrageous ones, it is just to let the person know that you are taking charge of certain aspects of your relationship. If the person accepts your terms, Honey, let there be a 2ND Chance. As women, all too often we allow so much our emotions to dictate a lot of our decisions. And too many damn times relationships, what we are looking for is usually right in front of us or beside us but, when you are blinded by heart breaks, heart aches and the constant thought of it, well, the combination becomes a bad recipe for any kitchen....Real Talk! So, basically what I am trying to say is...look at him or her, pity him or her, and give that 2ND Chance to show that you heart is bigger and Larger than LIFE itself...and you will most likely not regret it tooDescription: Hug



Edited by ariahoney - Dec 01 2012 at 2:54pm
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