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Do second chances work?

 
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Beautiful_One View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beautiful_One Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2012 at 9:02pm
Nope doesnt work!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote missdeeluxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 9:43am
Originally posted by Becky Becky wrote:

Originally posted by missdeeluxe missdeeluxe wrote:

Yes!
I'm a firm believer that people CAN change, if they choose to.

My boyfriend and I split the first time because things had started to go south and I started talking to an ex of mine briefly (liked the attention, didn't get it from the bf, was purely emotional) things ended and we spent some time a part but we ended up back together.
We've been together almost a year and a half now after everything and we're better than ever.

That trust needs to be earned back and that takes time.
Both parties need to be willing to try their hardest.

Good luck!
Ummm sorry but a year and a half back with a guy that cheated on you .. does not mean that it 'worked out'. Exclamation
 
'Worked out' means it has been good for at least 20 years.

He never cheated.

Maybe it'll be 20 years, maybe it won't.
I have no way of knowing.
But we've been solid at one and a half thus far.

I'm just putting a positive spin on the topic.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Over_all Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 2:30pm
It can work but the person that's been cheated has to know you mean buisness.. The cheater has to be truly regretful and things will have to move forward... You can't keep harping on or thinking about it or making excuses for this person that cheated to be that bad guy that you've painted them to be.. It's either you can live with it or you can't.. And if you can't leave.. People cheat for different reasons & it's not always because men are dogs and or women are whores.. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mamalicious Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 10:00am
Yes, but he have to be remorseful for what he did. My husband of 8 years cheated on me( I didn't see but my feelings and his actions brought me to that conclusion) I packed up my stuff took my kids and left. He kept on calling and crying for forgiveness, so I came back 3 months later. I told him I'm not his doormat. Next time will be for good
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote naturalhaitian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 08 2013 at 11:29am
Dont do it to yourself, It doesnt work, the trust is gone, but the best way to move on is to find another. Go with bubbly answer.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mtownchick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 27 2013 at 12:30am
You have to do what is best for you. If you want to give him a second chance, do it. If not, dont. If you live your life conforming to what others think of YOUR situation, then you are prone to self-destruction. Live your life for your own outcomes and testimonies.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phattrabbit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 10:24am
Fall back from him for a while...6 months maybe. It is too soon for u to determine whether u want/need to give him another chance. In 6 mos. u may b totally over it and be ready to move on and start anew, whether single or with someone new.  But right now u still miss him and are feeling nostalgic. That is always how it is when u have been with someone everyday then all of a sudden they're out of your life.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 30 2013 at 12:58pm
I know i'm super late....but not knowing what to do...one minute your around him the next minute your distant could lead to mixed signals which means it really won't work out even if you try in the long run. 

So I say go with your heart, if you feel you should move on then hunni run, never second guess yourself because 9x outta 10 you were probably right. 

Good luck if you still going thru this dilemma.Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scox89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:30pm
Originally posted by Becky Becky wrote:

Originally posted by ariahoney ariahoney wrote:

Once a cheater - always a cheater? That is just not true. Please do not take a few lines here and a quote there out of my post to justify your opinion, not cool - not right. Anyone, Hell Anybody, can change, if they want to and make a conscious choice to do so. Because someone cheated does not mean they cannot change, ah Hell No. I am not justifying a cheater's actions, do not misunderstand that Fact! Read my post in its entirety and those who recognize and understand it as it has been simplified for all y'all viewing, will clap and say..Preach Sister!! Tell! the congregation now..going naH! Hate it or Love it but Honey it is factual and actual. I very much recognize the dangers of STDs, that Honey you are soooo on the money, but I just wanted to layeth the smaketh down on the whole 2ND Chance thang. So SISTERS! if your man cheated on you now or in the future, I am saying think, review, rewind and determine if there is a future for the both of you. Look if you are between the age of 18 - 25yrs and your man cheated, it ain't impossible that he would not do it again and it is equally not impossible that he or she cannot change if that person feels that you are worth the change. However, if you and your other half are above 25yrs, Honey, you reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally need to think extra hard because neither of you are getting younger. There might be plenty of fishes in the sea as they say, BUT if the DEVIL you know can TRUELY Change, for Gods sake give em a 2ND Chance bcos, more often than most, that relationship eventually last a test of time, bcos you know one another's weaknesses and strengths and can then use that to completely rebuild and evolutionize your relationship. Reeeeeeeeal Talk.
Hey Honey, if it did not work for you, do not hate on others for whom it works for. Again...Congre - ga - tion, Real Talk
Aria you sound very .. young.
 
People CAN change if they want to ... except cheaters. If you take a cheater back - again, what is his motivation to ever change? He has none. He gets to have his cake .. and eat it too.
 
You don't get it. It's not about YOU and it's not about if he feels YOU are worth it - it's about him.  DUH! Confused
 
Well, like they say .. 'it's a shame that youth is so wasted on the young'. Confused
 
Good luck with that.
That isn't true. Once the reason for repetitive cheating is recognized, a cheater can in FACT change their behavior. I was a chronic cheater. Every relationship. I mean EVERY relationship, even in my marriage, I cheated. It took for me to realize how much hurt i caused my spouse, and for me to ask myself WHY do i feel the need to do that, before I got myself together. Anyone can do anything if they want to, and if they keep their faith. I know i have. you can't just throw all cheaters into a box. that's like throwing all black people into a box and stating once on welfare, always on welfare. not true. when people realize how far they've fallen, most will do their best to get up and not fall down again
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