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Do Not Provoke a Man Into Beating You?

 
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bunzaveli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote bunzaveli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:19pm
Originally posted by phattrabbit phattrabbit wrote:

Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

phatrabbit you sound ratchet, i love ratchets, reminds me of home. how many Brothas you done mushed in your lifetime if you dont mind me asking.

i hope you dont take offense to my question.

Actually, I don't consider myself anywhere near ratchet. I can get ghetto if necessary, but I am from a 2 parent home and both my parents are immigrants for Nigeria. I was born in the states.  But went to school with very hood ass people so the environment rubbed off. There was only one high school and one middle school so everyone was mixed in together. The schools were about 95% Black  My mother did not have the experience with Black men to school me on a lot of things.  A lot of what I learned came from trial and error or from my friends. Maybe this has something to do with it. And to answer your question...15. And I am 33. Lost my virginity at 16...anything else?...can i pee in a cup for you? lol



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phattrabbit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote phattrabbit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:20pm
Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

phatrabbit you sound ratchet, i love ratchets, reminds me of home. how many Brothas you done mushed in your lifetime if you dont mind me asking.

i hope you dont take offense to my question.

Actually, I don't consider myself anywhere near ratchet. I can get ghetto if necessary, but I am from a 2 parent home and both my parents are immigrants for Nigeria. I was born in the states.  But went to school with very hood ass people so the environment rubbed off. There was only one high school and one middle school so everyone was mixed in together. The schools were about 95% Black  My mother did not have the experience with Black men to school me on a lot of things.  A lot of what I learned came from trial and error or from my friends. Maybe this has something to do with it. And to answer your question...15. And I am 33. Lost my virginity at 16...anything else?...can i pee in a cup for you? lol
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Random Thoughts View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:22pm
Are your parents not an example of what you seek?


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phattrabbit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phattrabbit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:27pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Do any of the people you know have healthy relationships at all with non-black people? just curious-Phatrabbit

very insightful Gkisses- I actually have a yt lady friend who keeps choosing guys who abuse her! and she is so sweet pretty and nice she can help other people but has NO insight into helping herself~ its like she knows she needs to change but she thinks only a Man can help save her from herself but its a disaster- I blame TV

No they themselves don't bc we all only have dated Black men.  However, we do know of people who are in healthy marriages with non-Blacks....but then again who really knows for sure what goes on behind closed doors. 
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Random Thoughts View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:32pm
Originally posted by phattrabbit phattrabbit wrote:

Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Are your parents not an example of what you seek?



Yes, but Africans and Black Americans are very different.  The culture and values are very different.  My parents wanted that I ONLY date other Nigerians. They wanted to arrange marriages and sh*t. I wasn't having it. Maybe that's what I get for rebelling.LOL




Uh Oh. You bout to start a whole new topic.

LOL

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phattrabbit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote phattrabbit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:32pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Are your parents not an example of what you seek?



Yes, but Africans and Black Americans are very different.  The culture and values are very different.  My parents wanted that I ONLY date other Nigerians. They wanted to arrange marriages and sh*t. I wasn't having it. Maybe that's what I get for rebelling.LOL
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phattrabbit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phattrabbit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:35pm
[QUOTE=hauteshellbi]Phatrabbit I like you boo but you're looking at it wrong

I have had MANY ain't sh*t experiences in my life with men

Black (1st love) I moved 3 hours away within 7 months of us being in a long distance relationship he got 3 not 1 or 2 but 3 women pregnant. (1 miscarried he still claim he don't know her)

Hispanic we went out with my bestie and he got into a heated argument with her so he left us downtown (30 minutes away from my car) at 2 am so I had to spend $40 on a taxi to get to my car to get home

White went to the movies and he left me during the commercials (I knew him for about 3 months prior not the first date) didn't say sh*t to me just got up like he was using the bathroom and walked out the theater

It's not black men alone doing trifling bs I promise and it's also not your fault NO woman thinks she's choosing an ain't sht nicca everything is *&%^$#@Ein roses in the beginning of all relationships [/QUOTE

You are right. Thank you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:37pm
Originally posted by phattrabbit phattrabbit wrote:

Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

phatrabbit you sound ratchet, i love ratchets, reminds me of home. how many Brothas you done mushed in your lifetime if you dont mind me asking.

i hope you dont take offense to my question.

Actually, I don't consider myself anywhere near ratchet. I can get ghetto if necessary, but I am from a 2 parent home and both my parents are immigrants for Nigeria. I was born in the states. But went to school with very hood ass people so the environment rubbed off. There was only one high school and one middle school so everyone was mixed in together. The schools were about 95% Black My mother did not have the experience with Black men to school me on a lot of things. A lot of what I learned came from trial and error or from my friends. Maybe this has something to do with it. And to answer your question...15. And I am 33. Lost my virginity at 16...anything else?...can i pee in a cup for you? lol


First off, no shade. I know a Nigerian-American girl just like you who is now a baby mama to a guy who makes beats. She works and he stays home with the baby. I'm going to ask you the same question I asked her family, If you grew up with a certain upbringing where your parents were married and had certain values that provided you a stable life, why would you then seek the exact opposite? Why didn't you aspire to have what your parents have and gave you?

This isn't judgment, its just genuine curiosity.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:45pm
@phatrabbit: You didn't comply with who your parents wanted you to date because it wasn't for you. At least, not at the time. I can identify with the sentiment though because I've mostly dated (and married) men outside my culture. I've always wondered if my life would have turned out differently if I had stuck with Haitian dudes. That being said, that's the type of should have, would have, could have that people say in hindsight. That doesn't mean there's any validity to it. You were straddling 2 cultures, like many 1rst generation people. But you're older now and you have more experiences. The thing is you got to learn from them and figure out what you want and what you will not put up with. And frankly, you sound depressed. You need to take care of that, nurture yourself and do things that bring you joy before you can figure it out with someone else.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phattrabbit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 29 2014 at 4:49pm
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Originally posted by phattrabbit phattrabbit wrote:

Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

phatrabbit you sound ratchet, i love ratchets, reminds me of home. how many Brothas you done mushed in your lifetime if you dont mind me asking.

i hope you dont take offense to my question.

Actually, I don't consider myself anywhere near ratchet. I can get ghetto if necessary, but I am from a 2 parent home and both my parents are immigrants for Nigeria. I was born in the states. But went to school with very hood ass people so the environment rubbed off. There was only one high school and one middle school so everyone was mixed in together. The schools were about 95% Black My mother did not have the experience with Black men to school me on a lot of things. A lot of what I learned came from trial and error or from my friends. Maybe this has something to do with it. And to answer your question...15. And I am 33. Lost my virginity at 16...anything else?...can i pee in a cup for you? lol


First off, no shade. I know a Nigerian-American girl just like you who is now a baby mama to a guy who makes beats. She works and he stays home with the baby. I'm going to ask you the same question I asked her family, If you grew up with a certain upbringing where your parents were married and had certain values that provided you a stable life, why would you then seek the exact opposite? Why didn't you aspire to have what your parents have and gave you?

This isn't judgment, its just genuine curiosity.

That's just it, I am not seeking the exact opposite. I am seeking just that. However, I did not believe that that is only possible with a foreigner or non-Black.  I relate more to Black American men/women, but my experiences started making me reconsider the things my parents had been preaching my entire life. 
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