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Topic ClosedDo Not Provoke a Man Into Beating You?

 
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_ConcreteRose_ View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 9:26am
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

isnt blame inherent in the word provoke.
Yup, it is.

I don't care if you scream, yell, have bad taste in men etc, doesn't give anyone the right to hit you.

And yea, Rays suspension was way too short.
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 9:35am
so provocation and hitting someone aren't as mutually exclusive as i previously believed? oh ok. 

here i thought that people had to make the personal decision to react to someone regardless of what the other person did. hmmm... 

then again, bhm has also taught me that, as a man, if she hits first, no need to reasonably try to restrain her. just lay into her fully. crack her right in the face to calm her down. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 10:22am
Originally posted by Wynter Wynter wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Was he trying to say that as a woman you can win a fight with a man so if you feel a situation is getting out of hand don't light a fuse.....try to calm the situation because you safety comes first? I get that....but again I didn't read.


This is what I think he was saying. Look, you know your man and what may be that one thing that will make him lose his head. So chill before it goes there. I don't think he was referring to everyday domestic violence.

Etf: Don't want the grammar/spelling police to get me.


This is what I got too. He's not saying it's right to hit or be hit. I think he's saying that although I will come and I will protect you AFTER the fact. You still got hit before I made it, and that doesn't go away because I jumped on him. In order to minimize it for us all, don't put yourself in that situation. Most of the time there's a progression before the abuse starts. You have to recognize that progression and get out. Some people are beaters that's just who they are. You have to choose not to be with that type or person, and if you stay knowing who they are, you need to choose not to let it progress to where you get beat.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 10:27am
personal accountability just makes some people automatically defensive. it's not the same as victim blaming.

I don't like the word provoke though. it just sounds like you're shifting all the blame on one person. as if they asked for it & deserved it.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 10:36am
5 pages? The title of this thread is so outrageous that I didn't even bother peaking in but now I may have to read from page 1. Were people agreeing with this foolishness?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 10:52am
Jesus. I need to systematically listen to my instincts. Elements of provocation... So it's one of those threads, huh? *exits in disgust*
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 10:57am
Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

my mouth has provoked many a woman
did you provoke your stabbing?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 10:59am
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

so arguing with you S/O is the automatic provocation then?  i'm glad my bf is sweet as pie.

No...yall know exactly what is going too far.....and thats with anyone.....
 
Agree.
 
It doesn't take provocation (at least, direct provocation, in this instance I'm about to describe) to incite an attack:  Wife knows temperamental husband's schedule and always has dinner prepared just as he walks in the door.  He has a bad day at work, decides to leave early without telling her, she has no idea he's about to come home hours earlier, and dinner's not ready.  He loses his sh*t and attacks her--claiming it's for not having dinner prepared when it's really just an excuse to take work-related frustration out on her.
 
But, when I see women getting all up in men's faces, and attempting to emasculate them in public, I just be as far away as possible staring like
 
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/sht.gif
 
Even the most even-tempered people can have a 'nam flashback, and snatch your sh*t on up and out if you say the right (or wrong) words, and bring up sh*t that's better left buried.  I won't say the person doing the "provocation" is right to get they ass beat, but I will say they are pretty much laying the f'n groundwork for it to happen.  It ain't right, but it might just could happen.


Edited by CLCNY20 - Jul 26 2014 at 11:00am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 11:16am
This is complete BULLsh*t bc the same woman who is supposed to refrain from and restrain her natural reactions to the foolishness that her man is "provoking" her with is being asked to cater to her partners natural reactions to get physical with her or whatever he's gonna do.  But, he could very well do the same if he knows what upsets her or causes her to get argumentative. I don't think someone would just spit on someone or argue with someone, get all up in their face, if not first "provoked".  So really all this sh*t is relative to the person. Every action has a reaction and nobody should have to walk on eggshells or be a doormat simply because someone else has a lack of self-control to the point that they must put hands on you. This is America. Freedom of Speech.

Years ago during the slave day and after when everything was "separate but equal", Black people were able to exercise an unthinkable amount of self control bc the alternative was being tarred, feathered, and left looking like Emmit Till.  I guess jail time is not enough for folk these days. Maybe the threat of a good hanging with your genitalia removed and placed in your own mouth is the only thing that will do it. *Kanye Shrug*


Edited by phattrabbit - Jul 26 2014 at 11:18am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2014 at 11:32am
Stern Smile  I don't know how I always forget how far we still have to go.  

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