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Djimon Hounsou: Marriage "Can Ruin" A Relationship

 
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afrokock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 2:26pm
Some people just want a quick escape
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 2:27pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

sandy i actually think that might be the problem alot of people are running into actually.  meaning they aren't trusting their so with important paper work type stuff prior to marriage...most of this stuff should already be in place before marriage.  however, most have the i ain't doint shat till i'm married attitude...lol
exactly...

And then when those things are brought up... "Why now when we never did before"= splitsville
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote blaquefoxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 2:37pm
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

He said: “The idea of marrying somebody can actually ruin the union [...] Some people are happily together for decades and they get this fantasy idea to go and get married when it’s just about papers basically…eventually it just goes sour.”





I kinda agree with this. 

I think people become more infatuated with the idea of "getting married" (pressure from fam, glitz, glam, dress, ceremony, "perks and benefits") than being married and actually building a foundation that lasts.


Building an unbreakable level of trust, honesty, intimacy, dedication and love trumps anything else imo. If you don't have that, then the relationship (whether married or not) is doomed.

But I will say that because  so many of our people tend to have such a lackadaisical approach towards commitment/marriage, that oftentimes we get stuck with people and have kids with those that are not good for us in the long run, resulting in broken hearts, families and households. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 2:41pm
I told Mr00 the other day lets just go to the court house and hop a flight to Thailand......LOL
He was like Stern Smile.......we will have a wedding.......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sang Froid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 2:42pm
Yall gone come to my wedding in 2018?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Az~Maverick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 2:44pm
It's not marriage that ruins a relationship, but picture in our heads of what we THINK it's supposed to be like ruins it. If folks go into it thinking....or placing the burden on someone....that they're supposed to be and act a certain way, it's doomed before they even sign the papers.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 2:52pm
I guess its possible if both of you have 2 different ideas of what marriage should be like, or if you feel like you are compromising more to make the marriage work than the other person.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Majesty02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 3:09pm
Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

He's blaming it on marriage when it was doomed from the start


Exactly. I always thought they were an odd couple. Her personality is wayyyyyyy to overbearing for an African man. They usually like to wear the pants in the relationship.
I figured he just put up with her extraness to get that $$$$.   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 3:10pm
It can only ruin a relationship if its not what both parties want and if ppl get lazy and neglect all that it takes to keep the relationship going.  Truth be told too many people in half-assed relationships are getting married because they think thats the fixer. When in reality they just created a sh!tty  marriage based on their unrealistic desires.

Point being its not Marriage that ruins relationships its the people within the marriage. Its not facebook that ruins relationships its the people in said relationships that ruin relationships....its easier to blame these things than each other or themselves
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 4:05pm
Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

He's blaming it on marriage when it was doomed from the start


Exactly. I always thought they were an odd couple. Her personality is wayyyyyyy to overbearing for an African man. They usually like to wear the pants in the relationship.
I figured he just put up with her extraness to get that $$$$.   


this is what I always thought as well. 

Not to mention...i don't think he would have ever married her anyway because she already kids. 

Afro- African men don't do blended families right? Could bring home a girl who had kids, whether she was a baby momma or an ex-wife?


Edited by goodm3 - Sep 06 2013 at 4:08pm
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