Gonna be a lil long. I brought snacks.
One day I was in the store with my nephew. He's a mild mannered 8 year old child.
Now, my back was turned for a split second and he got a hold of a ball in the store. Totally innocent moment got damn it he's a child

For the purpose of stressing my degree of unbias towards bad ass churren;
1) I don't have kids. I'm in my mid-late twenties. I have cats. See where I'm going here? lol
2) I demand respect from children. I am *not* the annoying woman in the store that turns a blind eye to their off spring destroying the place.
3) My level of patience is thin. My eggs are on the decline. I do not have time for childish antics. lol
I digress.
My nephew found a ball, he is a child. Consequently he had a moment of childlike glee. And rolled the ball across the floor. Now, when children are being kids I find it CRUEL when adults overreact. I tend to take the diplomatic approach.
Come ere' lil knucklehead.

Didn't auntie tell you to behave in this here store in this here United of States of America. Mmmmmkay baby.

This old yt lady went HAM on my nephew.
She didn't see his supervisor in the corner.

She yelled at him. Told him to quit doing that. Something along those lines.
I slowly approached her and read her the riot act in several different dialects.
She stammered...buuut...but.bbbbuuuut why are you talking to me like this


I told that ole yt bish if you can dish it to a child ya ass is in the position to take it. Woman to woman. You cruel old bish. *locked eyes with her. Palatable disgust hung in the air*
( I expressed my disdain in the beckiest of becky voice's so she couldn't rest in the comfort of shrugging me off as...ahem...ghetto. Took care in enunciating every got damn vowel and consonant. Special attention was paid to pace and rhythm. I made her my bitch)
Bear with me y'all. I know this is lengthy.
In the corner of my eye I see a cop. She inches over towards us. (oh brother

)
With a very careful expression on her face. Brow furrowed.
The white lady frantically retreated.
The cop calmly approaches me and begins to lament about how
OUT OF LINE that lady was.

The entire time she was looking in the yt womans direction frowning. Practically BEGGING the bish to come back over.
At this moment several people that witnessed the encounter came over to commend me on such classy ether. People were visibly shaken and outraged.
In that moment I stood in the center of a huddle normally reserved for yt womenz


.
Surrounded by folks as they championed my reaction.
White woman cowered in the corner stealing glances at us with the most butt hurt expression.
I truly hope you feel better Ma'Ma'
Just know that the tides are ever so slowly turning.
Because on that day, I had a sneak peek into the future of white women tears becoming debatable and mildly irrelevant.