I know you read all of us say "it's just weave," "it's not that serious." But to you, it is. I really do agree with another member that says that this is the surface of a much deeper issue.
I had a weave when I was 15/16 that I really didn't like. It was cornrows in the front, deep wave (synthetic) hair in the back. Between the cornrows and weave was a giant braid covering the last track. The weave hair wasn't full...the braid was all thick and sat high. It was a mess. Made my head look big, etc.
The point of that was just to say that it has happened to all of us. I have so many hair related horror stories, I could write 6 books and 2 movies. To be honest, your doesn't look bad. A little product around the edges ... maybe dampening the hair and loosely braiding or doing a few bantu knots will give it some curl like Normani's?
Please, don't hurt yourself more or do something permanent over a temporary issue. I used to self-harm and can understand how you may be feeling. This is only temporary. Sometimes, you just have to work with what you got until you can get something better :) Feel free to pm me if you want to talk! You can make this work