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Depressed - society will never love me

 
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mozambiquegirl View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 3:34am
I'm a 17 yo girl and going through a really hard time. It has been this way for about 2 - 3 years. I am a dark skinned girl and as I have grown older have realised how much society looks down on us. Last year it affected me so much that I bleached my skin for a few months but then stopped when I started getting lots of spots and realised it was hard to maintain so impractical. I have tried to pick up hobbies like volunteering and dancing. I have seen a total of 6 therapists but I am still deeply depressed. My parents don't let me go on anti depressants. I have tried everything to become happy. The funny thing is, a lot of the time I like the way I look. But society and guys will never see me as beautiful. I was bullied badly in school. I see white girls, mixed girls, latinas etc. get put up on a pedestal everyday. I see so many mean comments said about dark skinned girls like me and it hurts.

I have cried every single day for about 2 years - honest. I keep telling myself it will get better, to be strong, to not care what society/people think. It affected me so much I even dropped out of school last year. I tried to take my life and was hospitalised. I am back in school now but still suffering. I go to a mainly all white school where white girls and this mixed girl in my class are so revered.

I really have tried so so hard to be strong. I've read self help books, true to go on more black beauty blogs, limited my time watching e news or going on celeb media sites or social media sites where I saw so many horrible comments about dark skinned girls, read the bible gone to church prayed to God. I think I will never will get better. My parents have tried to celebrate dark skin to me and raise my esteem it doesn't work.

I have come to the realisation that society is only about looks. It always boils down to looks. It always comes down to looks. I can't even walk to my local grocery shop without being judged on my looks. Even if a woman achieves something great or even discovered the cure for cancer they would be picks apart on their looks. Online people are constantly insulted for their looks. In real life men will treat a light beautiful girl so nicely and the dark girl differently. You can have a nice personality but it doesn't matter looks will always be more important. Society only cares about looks. Looks looks looks. I've had enough.

I have no one to talk to because my parents get mad and upset. I just want to be loved. I want to be loved by a guy. I want to be loved or accepted or appreciated by society. What's the point in continuing on when even when I'm still 39 people will be constantly judging me for my looks.

I really have hit an all time low now. I have tried so hard to be strong you don't inderstand. I will never win this battle.
I just want to end it because society will always be this way and therefore I will NEVER be happy. I don't really want to die. I want to be able to live life but just because of this society being this way, I won't very be happy so why live any more of this painful living hell.

I promise you I am not trolling. I genuinely feel this way. You don't know the intense pain I have even through every single minute of my life for these past few years.
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mozambiquegirl View Drop Down
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Sorry for the typos

Edited by mozambiquegirl - Jun 27 2014 at 5:50am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 6:20am



Ok I pondered long and hard on whether I should write an essay...havent done it in a while on here...

Forgive me in advance if this is scrambled.. the sun hasnt even risen over here...Embarrassed 

Honestly as a dark skin chica myself... being dark skin isnt a huge issue anymore...now im NOT saying that the prejudice and separatism against darker skin doesn't exist because it does. 

But a majority of men dont care if you are dark skin/light skin as long as you look good in it...

The only men who will flat out tell you "i dont date dark skin chicks" are coons...especially if they are dark themselves...WackoLOL..thats basically saying "i dont like myself"..

Chile and be glad you dodged that bullet........those men usually have a LOT more issues hidden underneath the surface...self-hate...insecurity..low-self esteem...whats that saying.."if you find one rat..keep looking because its usually a lot more hidden out of sight.."

Because only insecure people take the time out of their day and go out of their way to dislike anyone because of the shade of their skin...
(i.e. white people)

If you go outside right now you'll see white people, mexicans, basically a bunch of light/fair skin folks are literally frying their skin to get as dark as possible....and a lot of people will tell you that they look better with a tan....kinda ironic huh...

White people are botoxing the hell out of their face and lips..trying to make them "juicy"Stern Smile

So it is really us that they have an issue with? or themselves...NukeWink


A lot of not so attractive light skin women get a pass because they are light..light skin is put on a pedestal....all because its closer to white skinLamp(see where im going with the cooning part..)

Its almost like being fat...how they say fat girls have to put in twice the work (hair,makeup,clothes) just to be on the same level as everyone else... 

This kinda applies to dark skin...if you find two equally attractive women...one light skin and the other dark..the light skin will be deemed more attractive by a majority of people simply because shes lighter...

We have been brainwashed as a society..and its almost impossible to undo what has been pushed for so many years...fortunately not everybody is a slave to this mentality (literally..lol)

The world is based on looks..but look around this world is also corrupt...you ever watch the news or even to go upstairs and visit TTT?...the daily stories will have you wondering how much longer this earth will remain in existence...




And for the emotional part of this post...forgive me in advance im a virgoCry...not exactly the best with emotions...hopefully another poster will come in and go more in depth...

Love yourself...its easier said than done...but it has to be done. 
There is nothing more unattractive than a woman who doesnt love herself. You could be as fine as wine lol..men will flock to you and then run the opposite direction after they realize what they've gotten themselves into...

If you dont like the way you look change it(im not talking about plastic surgery btw)...a hair makeover/new makeup/skin care can go a long way...we have tons of very informative threads on these topics all over this forum...

Study yourself. Find the things you like and things you dont like so much about yourself and figure out ways to make the things you dont like become things you do like.
Learn what your best features are and how you can accentuate them...nice lips? bring attention to them with a bold lip...nice hips? flaunt them...
Find out what colors make you come alive...which hairstyles compliment your face shape the best...what makeup (if you wear makeup) compliments you the most...

I can post links if you like there are A LOT of gems on this forum...just let me know i gotchuWink





Edited by ModelessDiva - Jun 27 2014 at 7:07am
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Missvw View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Missvw Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 6:26am
Great advice ModelessDiva
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mozambiquegirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mozambiquegirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 7:22am
Thank you vm. I've tried all that - hair makeovers, new makeup, changing style so many times etc. nothing works. That's why I'm so close to giving up
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mozambiquegirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 9:39am
Like I said, a lot of the time I like the way I look. My unhappiness comes from society never going to appreciate or adore me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Josephuss Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 1:04pm
hey Mozambique I have similar issues as you, although for different reason. Ive been depressed since I was a teenager, and at 32 I cant say im close to over it and only recently begun making progress to get over it. I just think part of your problem is you feel like an outcast for several reasons and is pin pointing it to the wrong source. society does put lighter skin on a higher pedestal, and im guessing youre an immigrant, in a mostly white environment. even though you can change your appearance to some degree, those changes can only go so far and your basic appearance will remain the same. youre conforming to the wrong standards in which you feel are superior, so again your appearance wont change much, but the standards you conform to can. Im no mental health specialist, and I know these things take time, but from my own experience I realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and knowing its there feels better then thinking all hope is gone.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 7:16pm
Originally posted by mozambiquegirl mozambiquegirl wrote:

Thank you vm. I've tried all that - hair makeovers, new makeup, changing style so many times etc. nothing works. That's why I'm so close to giving up


What do you mean by "nothing works"

And I don't mean to be harsh but there's no way to change how society thinks so you're gonna have to just accept it....

There's something about everybody on this earth that society doesn't like..

You said you like the way you look so I don't see what the issue is...


Edited by ModelessDiva - Jun 27 2014 at 10:08pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 27 2014 at 10:16pm
im dark too… even though i may see on TV and videos that light skin is preferred.. it doesnt stop guys in real life from being interested in me. 

i have seen the ugliest, huge, just…. all types of difficulty having dark girls who are happy and date. 
sounds corny but there really is someone out there for everyone. 

i think you need to learn to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to. 

unless youre somewhere like… russia or iceland.. i think its mostly all in your head and what you project and the way you come off is what may stop people from wanting to get to know you better. 



Edited by coconess - Jun 27 2014 at 10:19pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Blac1Chyna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 3:18pm
a lot of light skin men say they love dark skin women.  dark skinned women are beautiful too, its not right that assholes and mentally trained monkeys have made you feel less than. the world needs you! please smileSmile you will recognize your beauty one day i promise
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