Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk (Newbies)
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Dealing with insecurity
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

Dealing with insecurity

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 5>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Bootiful Cream



Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 1 Votes, Average 5.00  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Printer_Ink View Drop Down
Guest Group
Guest Group
Avatar

Joined: Dec 29 2011
Location: Amsterdam
Status: Offline
Points: 22533
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 7:30am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

The guy I am dating added me on facebook. First thing I see was a pic that his ex took of herself and tagged him. I am like "delete this" and he said "can't because I was tagged".
Then as we look at more pics, he started to tell me who was who and many of the girls on pics with him were former flames.
They were average girls and I said that I probably am the hottest he ever dated. Then he said, "I know that's what you wanna hear, but they were actually hot; you're fine as hell but.." and then he started saying their names and telling me that they were fine, and then I just picked up my ipod and left him by himself.


I wish I could get rid of my insecurity.  I am not constantly comparing myself to other chicks; my insecurity creeps up when a guy I date compliments other girl or has an ex prettier than me. In his case, it was because he has all those pics with girls he had something serious or not.

How do I deal with it? Or how do I get rid of it?
First off - from the avi, you have chosen to use ... I knew a long time ago .. that you had to be very insecure to use it. Typically a real life avi kind of shows who you are.Confused
 
I am not trying to be hurtful .. I just think a lot of girls use their bodies etc for attention .. in the wrong way and if I can see that - I'll bet a guy in real life can see that too.
 
Secondly, it's not all about you look on the outside. It's what you are on the inside  that  projects to the outside world. I don't mean being all loud and hard and arrogant and 'out there' about yourself... I mean being happy and secure in your own skin, living a well balanced life etc ... that radiants to the outside world and tells them .. who you really are.
 
That's why when you see pics of those girls he likes ... he sees things that you don't see.
 
You need to read some books, search the internet .. on how to build your self esteem - this will eliminate all the jealously etc. Invest in yourself and forget about how other women 'look'.
 
Lastly .. get off facebook.
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Omni Harmony View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Sep 27 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 20243
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Omni Harmony Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 7:35am
Radiates*
Back to Top
KhadiNiaomi View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 15 2010
Location: US - Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 6812
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KhadiNiaomi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 11:20am
I want to know what you look like sexyfamous... can u post a pic, cuz ik u dont look nothing like ur avi's
Back to Top
KhadiNiaomi View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 15 2010
Location: US - Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 6812
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KhadiNiaomi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 11:27am
Oh but back to the topic lol I'm dealing w/ insecurity too, except the only difference between u and I is that I think poorly of myself... Im not like how I use to be. I use to think highly of my self, but now I feel like crap :( especially when it comes to guys I like and date I get insecure their going to cheat on me with a really pretty girl or like im not pretty enough. But for him to be like oh my ex's are hotter than u is like wtf...? Even if thats how he felt, he could of been like "I dont think anyone of you are better than each other, you all look beautiful in different ways, cuz ur different ppl"would of been a better response or something to that degree. But honestly idk what to do to get over my insecurities, or help u lol. But if u think highly of urself how do u become insecure? It shouldn't have phased u. Cuz when I use to be "conceited" comments like that would'nt have bothered me... I would of that the person was weird and delusional.
Back to Top
TOUSHA11 View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 06 2011
Location: WTF
Status: Offline
Points: 6607
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TOUSHA11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 11:37am
I can guarantee you if you keep being friends with him on facebook. He will dump you because you keep commenting on all his picture and being jealous.  If you have an insecurity problem you should work on that before getting involved in any relationship. Every women in my opinion should think highly of themselves the TV MUSIC MAGAZINES AND ALL THIS OTHER BS DO ENOUGH TRYING TO MAKE US FEEL BAD ABOUT OURSELVES OR SAYING WE SHOULD LOOK THIS OR THAT WAY. Love who GOD created you to be and as Long as you have GOD NO PERSON OR ANYTHING ELSE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.
Back to Top
KhadiNiaomi View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 15 2010
Location: US - Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 6812
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote KhadiNiaomi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 12:03pm
@Toshua I dont think she's insecure to the point she's commenting his pics and stuff. I think she was just trying to say she felt insecure because the guy made her feel inferior compared to them. I guess coming from someone she liked it triggered an insecurity because, she wants him to captivate him with her beauty, instead of other women.
Back to Top
TOUSHA11 View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 06 2011
Location: WTF
Status: Offline
Points: 6607
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote TOUSHA11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 12:17pm
Originally posted by KhadiNiaomi KhadiNiaomi wrote:

@Toshua I dont think she's insecure to the point she's commenting his pics and stuff. I think she was just trying to say she felt insecure because the guy made her feel inferior compared to them. I guess coming from someone she liked it triggered an insecurity because, she wants him to captivate him with her beauty, instead of other women.
If she would have never bought up him taking the pictures down or what they looked first then he would not have said what he said. Every women wants to be the most beautiful women in her Man's eyes but unfortunately he might somebody else more attractive but that does not mean he wants to be with that person it is more to having a fulfilling relationship then just what the person looks like. 
Back to Top
KhadiNiaomi View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 15 2010
Location: US - Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 6812
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KhadiNiaomi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 12:34pm
Yeah IA
Back to Top
f8dagrate View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 26 2010
Location: inyomouf
Status: Offline
Points: 95369
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2013 at 8:38pm
Originally posted by Omni Harmony Omni Harmony wrote:

Radiates*


LOL
Back to Top
sexyandfamous View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 06 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Status: Online
Points: 49634
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 05 2013 at 9:54am
Originally posted by KhadiNiaomi KhadiNiaomi wrote:

Oh but back to the topic lol I'm dealing w/ insecurity too, except the only difference between u and I is that I think poorly of myself... Im not like how I use to be. I use to think highly of my self, but now I feel like crap :( especially when it comes to guys I like and date I get insecure their going to cheat on me with a really pretty girl or like im not pretty enough. But for him to be like oh my ex's are hotter than u is like wtf...? Even if thats how he felt, he could of been like "I dont think anyone of you are better than each other, you all look beautiful in different ways, cuz ur different ppl"would of been a better response or something to that degree. But honestly idk what to do to get over my insecurities, or help u lol. But if u think highly of urself how do u become insecure? It shouldn't have phased u. Cuz when I use to be "conceited" comments like that would'nt have bothered me... I would of that the person was weird and delusional.



yes, that is not me on the avi, I am much lighter and my butt isn't as phat but it is nice and round Embarrassed
he did not say that they are prettier than me, he said that they were pretty too. I wanted him to think only I am pretty, but of course I am being insecure and childish. The comments given before helped me understand.
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Little Black Scarf
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 5>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down