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Dealing with grief...

 
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yurika975 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote yurika975 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 1:02pm
I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is hard to deal with the loss of a child. I lost my first daughter at 3.5 months due to SIDS. What helped me was prayer and having good people around me. You don't get over it or forget. But the hurt and pain changes. I am sorry that a family member came to you with that nonsense. That is what makes people wash their hands of religion. It can be a comfort in time of strife and sorrow. All the ladies here give great advice. Please reach out. As a mom, sometimes we put ourselves last. I will keep you in my prayers.
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BitterSweet85 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote BitterSweet85 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 1:22pm


Thank you all for your kind words. I will look into the things suggested.

@Yurika975 sorry for your loss..     and i completely understand what your saying. Thanx
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 2:19pm
firstly HugHug

secondly

Originally posted by BitterSweet85 BitterSweet85 wrote:

 My cousin ran to me with glee to tell me our grandmother said God took my son because i wouldnt serve him, he's a jealous god. 

I really hate misinformation^^this is unacceptable

The more I grow I begin to see why a lot of people get angry with God and stop going to Church...


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NuAttitude View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NuAttitude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 2:52pm
Hug I'm sorry for your loss and I cannot begin to imagine how you feel because I have never lost a child.  They say it's the worst, devastating feeling in the world! Everyone grieves differently and I would assume that it would put a big strain on your marriage and well being.  However, you do have another child who definitely needs you physically, emotionally and mentally.  You need to find ways to survive the loss of your child.  Speak with your PCP, closest friends, anyone you feel you can open up to and trust.  Also, you need to give yourself time.  Time to heal, time to take care of yourself. Cry all you want and don't worry about who is watching. Last, kiss your toddler and tell him or her that mommy is here for you.  We (BHM family) are here if you need us.Hug
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmiliaCabral Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 4:05pm

Hug

I'm not a mom OP but I lost two of my siblings when they were both really young. Even though my mom (father not in the picture) still goes through it, and they both died over 8 years ago, all I'll say is that it can get better with time.
 
It may be different bc you and your husband are going through this together, but one thing that I know made a difference was not keeping those emotions bottled up. When my mom wanted to cry she broke down and cried. When I felt upset I just had to ride with that. My family isn't very emotional so we tend to bottle things up, but a psychotherapist who used to give free sessions once a month at church advised that we talk it through. So every year, we mark the anniversary of their deaths, celebrate their birthdays, and do other things to commemorate their lives.
 
It helps me to think that theyre still here. Sometimes something random will happen and I just know that they were right there. Like my lil bro used to play mad jokes on my our mom...last week all the cans in her overhead kitchen cabinet fell out at the same time and one hit her on the head. He used to do that all the time and would whoop his lil tail. She called me up and told me, and we both shouted "Marvin!" at the same time and burst out laughing. Hopefully laughing about it will get easier but first you have to make yourself comfortable with talking about his life.
 
Hugs again
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 4:14pm
If you're in school, you could stop at the health center or counselign center at your school, and explain your situation - they might be able to point you to someone who can help. Everyone processes grief in a different way and your husband prefers to not discuss, but I get the feeling that you need to talk about it, and since you lack a good support system due to your family's problems, you shut down your emotions. That's why finding a group that discusses their grief with a counselor present may help you, because you'll let out everything you have been keeping down, since you cannot discuss it with your husband.

I am really sorry about your child, and understand that God does not take anyone or anything away from anyone regardless of them believing in God or not. God does not punish people based on their religious beliefs.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 5:18pm
Sorry for your loss. Dealing with the loss of a child is so different with that of an adult, and each person will deal with grief in their own way.

I will offer prayers that the most painful part of your grief will subside gradually in time.
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