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Dealing with grief...

 
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BitterSweet85 View Drop Down
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    Posted: May 01 2014 at 7:51am
Good morning bhm. I came here for advice. I've been living day to day feeling like a zombie inside for the past year since i lost my son. He was only 6. He died tragically. That's as far as I can go with the details of his death. It's hard enuff having to type this out. Hard to accept that he's not here. Sorry for rambling...I'll try and make this short..do any of you kno of any therapies available to someone dealing with the death of a child? Not just grief counseling or parent groups. My husband and I have tried those...deep sigh. I think we need couseling indiviually, as well as couples counseling. See I put on a strong front. I have to, we have a toddler to nuture and provide for. No one asks if im ok because of this, but a part of me feels dead and i feel that i fell away emotionally from my daughter and husband. I love them so much but a part of me died when my son died. I saw him take his last breath, i felt a severe pain in my womb at the same time his spirit left his body. Something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. That part of me that died is the part of me my daughter needs to feel. i dont want her to ever feel i loved her brother more. Any advice will be a big help. I dont have a good support system. My family is on another level of dysfunction. My cousin ran to me with glee to tell me our grandmother said God took my son because i wouldnt serve him, he's a jealous god. Whew!! My husband deals with his grief totally different, he would rather not talk. So it has put a strain on our relationship. I will be back on later..have to run some errands. Hopefully one of you can at least point me in the right direction.
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BitterSweet85 View Drop Down
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Sorry for the bad writing style. On my phone and in a rush
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Brjasuga51 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Brjasuga51 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 7:58am
CryCryCry...My condolences to you and your familyHugHug. I  know there is someone on here who could or will refer someone to you. They also have an inspirational section you can also review here as well. There is a blogger on here that has an inspirational blog as well.
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I am confident that my sisters and brothers on here will have nothing but positive contributions and ideas.
 
1) I'd do a search for other parents going through the same thing, search online, their are groups for all types of situations and grief.  Having a friend who is going through the same thing, will be a blessing, just someone to call and talk to.
 
2) Open your mind to understand that your friend might not be a black person but a person of another race who is dealing with the same issue.  I say that because when I have looking into different things it has always been other races.
 
3) Start your own counseling and look for someone who specializes in grief.
 
4) I don't know if you go to church, but I know....GOD will  not give you more than you can bear.  When I went through my "situation" which holds NO CANDLE to your loss. prayer lines helped me greatly.  Also just watching the WORD network and listening to sermons.
 
It helped me to just hear the word of the LORD.  I'm going to research some things online and come back and post whatever information I can find for you.
 


Edited by sunshine321511 - May 01 2014 at 9:07am
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f8dagrate View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 8:26am
Originally posted by BitterSweet85 BitterSweet85 wrote:

Good morning bhm. I came here for advice. I've been living day to day feeling like a zombie inside for the past year since i lost my son. He was only 6. He died tragically. That's as far as I can go with the details of his death. It's hard enuff having to type this out. Hard to accept that he's not here. Sorry for rambling...I'll try and make this short..do any of you kno of any therapies available to someone dealing with the death of a child? Not just grief counseling or parent groups. My husband and I have tried those...deep sigh. I think we need couseling indiviually, as well as couples counseling. See I put on a strong front. I have to, we have a toddler to nuture and provide for. No one asks if im ok because of this, but a part of me feels dead and i feel that i fell away emotionally from my daughter and husband. I love them so much but a part of me died when my son died. I saw him take his last breath, i felt a severe pain in my womb at the same time his spirit left his body. Something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. That part of me that died is the part of me my daughter needs to feel. i dont want her to ever feel i loved her brother more. Any advice will be a big help. I dont have a good support system. My family is on another level of dysfunction. My cousin ran to me with glee to tell me our grandmother said God took my son because i wouldnt serve him, he's a jealous god. Whew!! My husband deals with his grief totally different, he would rather not talk. So it has put a strain on our relationship. I will be back on later..have to run some errands. Hopefully one of you can at least point me in the right direction.

Oh my, I'm a theist, but hearing things like this sadden me. Please keep researching online and there are even forums that speak specifically about situations like these. I'm so sorry for your loss. Broken Heart
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*Belle*Femme* View Drop Down
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I'm sorry about your loss. God knows best.
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newin2009 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote newin2009 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 8:50am
I am a Christian, so I will offer some advice that will be from that point of view...
Find a grief counselor and set up individual therapy.
Your grief counselor may also be able to help you find a support group for people in your exact situation.
CRY OUT TO GOD!!! When you are alone in your home, or maybe even in your car, just cry out to Him! He will comfort you in a way that no earthly person can. Your grandmother/cousin is not making your situation better by telling you that mess... but don't spend this time running from God. If you feel angry, tell God! If you're mad as hell, tell God! If you're sad, tell God! And then tell Him to comfort you! You may not know what to say to Him, but He knows. Talk to Him... He will comfort you.
 
I am terribly sorry for your loss. May God comfort you and your family!Hug
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lexis83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lexis83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 9:01am
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PurplePhase View Drop Down
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*hugs*
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Katrenia View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Katrenia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2014 at 12:41pm
Seek some medical help to deal with the depression.
Sounds like you're also dealing with clinical depression.
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